voice | un: a wheely good time

[pepsifree]

[ There're brief tapping sounds, like someone doing a mic test, and a quiet "is this thing even on?". But then a clear of the throat precedes an ever-awkward: ] Uh... hello. This is Marty. Um...

So I talked. Talked? Shared my brain with? The giant snake guy. Kharil-asuk. Kinda funny, I could never remember his name, but then we had that whole mental connection and now it's all I can think about the past couple of hours. Is that normal?

...anyway.

He wants to get married.

[ A long pause. ]

Uh. He gave me a huge bowl of his... juice... in exchange for me just kinda. Kinda asking around for. If anyone wants to marry him. So now I'm asking you guys if you'd know anyone who'd marry him. For what it's worth, he blesses you with luck and a long life and all that? It sounded like a pretty great deal! Heh.

What's so great about marriage that a magic snake wants it too? Crazy!

Comments

[vestments]

It's normal.

By a definition of the term.

[pepsifree]

A definition.

Cool. [ A beat. ] Uh... which one?

[vestments]

The one where you share your brain with a non-human entity.

( bruv. )

un: absterge

[downswing]

Do not wed the snake.

[pepsifree]

I wasn't gonna! Get outta town...

Besides, I don't think my girlfriend'd go for it.

[downswing]

As a precaution.

un: witchful thinking ☾ audio

[nochnaya]

Why don't you marry him?

[pepsifree]

I got a girlfriend waiting for me back home.

[ Wait, also-- ] There's no way I'm his type!

[scrapgege]

Marrying a demon is not usually a great idea.

I mean, usually. I probably shouldn't be giving advice on this.

[pepsifree]

Wait a minute, wait a minute, the snake's a demon!?

un: pillar of the heavens

[inkfire]

Would marriage help him somehow? Help us?

I had to get married as part of a ghost ritual and it helped out later on. Could be useful for someone to marry him.

[pepsifree]

Wait, how'd the ghost ritual marriage help? Did you marry a ghost? [ And then, more importantly: ] Are you guys still... together?

Kharil-asuk said anyone who marries him gets "luck, power, better health, and a longer life". But you gotta be real pure of conviction. Pure as snow, virgin Mary level pure, you know?

Actually, I dunno how "pure" is used in that context...

un: headless ragdoll | text

[matermali]

No.

[ To everything. ]

[pepsifree]

Noted.

...uh, "no" to what, though?

un: qishan; text

[silverneedles]

He gave you... Juice.

What uses does this juice serve?

[pepsifree]

The king needs the snake's juice so his uncles'll let him be king around these parts. Apparently it's some tradition? I got a bowlful of the stuff from his teeth after stalking him for hours.

...yeah okay it doesn't sound any less weird sayin' it all out loud.

audio; un: a tentacute observation

[companionsgrasp]

[It took him a few tries. This was nothing like a radio or telegraph or wired telephone. His careful observations of others using it were really the only reason he knew what the device was even capable of doing.

But Marty was his friend and this was, well, maybe not the strangest thing he's come across but it's still high on the list. It's concerning at the least since Marty seemed pretty average and has no protection against odd god-like entities. So he managed to send something.]

It can be. A mental connection can be hard to get rid of. Marty, please- [he calms his tone before continuing] Please be careful what you get mixed up in.

A marriage can be something of a ritual. It may grant him boons as well. I'd be cautious before getting involved in something like that with an old entity.

[pepsifree]

Man, it ain't like I'm gonna marry him! I mean, I'm like the last person-- [ A scoff. ] I'm no bride offering material. And my girlfriend'd kill me if she found out I left her for a snake.

He just asked me to wingman, you know? Find someone cute-- uh, actually, I think his words were "pure of heart". Or something.

Wait... [ Benedict's words suddenly process in his head, and Marty says a very soft: ] "Hard to get rid of"? You don't think he's still in my brain, do you?

un: lockwood

[recklessenough]

[ Everyone is being wisely skeptical with a side of rational hell no.

Then, there's Lockwood. ]

Did he give you any indication whether or not his 'protection' would extend to blunting the influence of the undead lieges?

[ Is someone still ticked off about getting mind controlled by the Huntress? Yeeep. ]

[pepsifree]

Uh.

You askin' me if this gives you zombie protection?

un: lucy goosey

[justreckless]

You're not marrying a snake.

[ oh for heaven's sake, it says she is called lucy goosey and she is absolutely not sounding loosey goosey. ]

un: such a waterful girl; audio

[datapoint]

[.....juice.......] Are you trying to say venom?

@taken for granite

[rumorate]

When you're marrying the right person, it's pretty awesome.

[It's missing her husband o'clock. And she ... really shouldn't be considering this but honestly the Hargreeves could use all the luck they could get.]

Did this snake god outline any ... expectations for this marriage?

un: abwhorent / audio

[wifedup]

Did the snake state a preference? Not that it can be me, my heart belongs to another! But I would certainly like to help.

( And he's nosy as shit, so. )

un: slothbaby

[cosplayqueen]

Dude. I'm not trying to judge here, but this is so freaking sketchy. Like white van giving away candy to kids sketchy.

Marriage is about having someone you can rely on for the rest of your life. Do you seriously think the snake guy is it? Again not judging. I'm just seriously concerned here from one stranger to another. He was in your head and now he's trying to get you to find brides/grooms for him.

Are you sure you are good enough to consent to this right now???