dragon... bachelor | round i

[sansdoute]

( We interrupt your regularly scheduled sinister updates for a casual transmission viewable by all. A chirpy, scantily clad mademoiselle takes stage introducing, one at a time, portraits or visual footage of various dragons as she names them. )

Laaaaaaaaadiiiiiiies and gentlemen! Wait no more, wonder less, time to meet this year’s fiery dragon contenders who’ll fall head and smoulder for each other, in the latest, scaled-up season of…

DRAGON BACHELOR

DARIUS

He’s… moderately tall. Not particularly exercised. His rider… gave up after the third day of mounting. His nestmates say, ‘Bro, we all know you’re drooling, not flaming,’ and ‘His mother has to come pick up his scales every week.’ He never woke up in time for the war. He’s looking for a girl who can char his meat, keep his nest tidy, has no male dragon friends and has reeeeaaaallllll thick wing curves. He has zero aspirations, but he knows the 10,000 actual gold pieces he invested to buy an invisible magical coin token will one day rake in big.

He is Darius, and he is our… Dragon Bachelor. And he needs your help to find a bride. Although, like. Any girl would be lucky to have a nice guy like him.

MARIADORA

Luscious. Strong. Some say the party doesn’t start until she enters the demonic summoning circle — then, it bursts into flame. On the weekends, she defeats entire prides of lions single-clawedly. She’s just ‘always where the arson is, oops.’ She thinks she can make a real dragon out of Darius. VOTE FOR MARIADORA.

ELLIANE

Sensitive. A scholar. Mastered every single art of the known universe. Scoured it for another few. Came back with the seed of the incarnated apocalypse. It was awkward. She wants to be looked in her eyes, not in her tail. She’s a career dragon, a sorceress, a near-sighted, oft-squinting visionary. She wants to see Darius grow. But like, not too much.VOTE FOR ELLIANE.

ASIRAA

Nurturing. Kind. Lover of tradition and fine ethics. Her heart yearns for a time when male dragons fought knights errant and females gladly hoarded. She wants children. Many children. So many children. Put down the children. Strip down yesterday’s slaughter blood off her, and you’ll see she has the hips for them. She’s a homemaker, and she wants to call Darius… Daddy. VOTE FOR ASIRAA.

Now, viewers, you know the ropes: they say you can't be lucky in both love and money, but Dragon Bachelor is here to prove common wisdom wrong. Every fine gentleman and lovely lady can put their house-paid 10,000-coin chip forward on their pick for handsome Darius's bride. What a catch!

If the stars blink your way, and Darius chooses your guess... you earn ten times the reward. Don't forget! You can always take advantage of the cheeky virgin sacrifice option and put down the names of other prospective brides. Cast your vote, and let the best dragon gall win!


( ooc: Rules of engagement:

— every character can bet 10,000, free of charge. The house covers the first token.
— Vote here on your dragon lady of choice — remember, persuade your colleagues to vote the same way, and you increase your odds of winning! Just pitch the virtues of your preferred dragon lady.
— Alternatively, suggest a character as a 'virgin sacrifice' (virginity optional) to appease mighty Darius, and vote to get them into the next round. You can also assume a well-meaning NPC put your character's name down. Why not?
— This is open to everyone, irrespective of whether they were assigned to Eidris or Minaras. It has 0% plot bearing. Make it rain.
— You can treat this as a regular network post and threadjack to your hearts' content.

)

Comments

[thedreamer]

Exactly! Bit much to ask of the ladies. He sounds like a decent fellow, just very young and absolutely incapable of being a good husband at the moment. He just needs a bit of work!

[cosplayqueen]

decent might be going too far. i'm still here for your journey to fix some dragon dude's love life.

[thedreamer]

Don't want to completely obliterate the lad's self-esteem. But, yes! I've learned a thing or two over the years. I'll teach him all the basics! And the ladies can have their choice, leave us out of it.

[cosplayqueen]

i like this... but what are the basics??? i feel like we should establish some ground rules so he doesn't get more.... you know. like that.

[thedreamer]

Okay, okay, I've got this. Hang on. Bit rusty. Just getting my manual out and-

[ There is actually a delay, a brief pause between texts. Is he being serious? Hard to say. ]

It says here - flowers. Flowers are good. Oh, I've done that! So, yes, we'll show him how to pick a lovely bouquet, which I suppose he could carry around in his teeth or with his little talons. Impressive. What else? Over to you! This is a team effort.

[cosplayqueen]

there's a manual??? ok ok not the point. so when i'm dealing with boys i like we do stuff together that we both find fun. so eating, learning how to drive....

oh oh!!! we should have them take a class together.

[thedreamer]

Oh brilliant yes! A class. I'm sure there's something interesting here. Can't be all doom and gloom all the time. What sort of class though that's the question.

Crochet? No bit hard with their sharp pointy fingers.

Finger painting? Oh, be fun, might ruin the canvas.

Cooking! Oh there we go. Cooking. He doesn't know how to cook, he's said he needs a wife to char his meat, he's in desperate need of some basic skills at the very least.

[cosplayqueen]

yes!! cooking!! my abu would totally say cooking is romantic. we'll find someone who can teach them how to do that and... idk. maybe look up what dragons eat?? they must have some kind of dessert!!

[thedreamer]

Clever, your Abu. Happens to be right. Cooking IS romantic! I'm sure it is.

[ It's a foreign concept to him, being the alien/Time Lord that he is. ]

We'll need to get to work on this. Ask around. No scratch that. We're brilliant between the two of us, we can figure this out. What would dragons love to eat? Well charred meat okay. Bit boring. Simple I suppose. So they'd enjoy a simple dessert. Chocolate cake maybe? Easy to eat, just smash your face into it really. Don't even need opposable thumbs.

[cosplayqueen]

i don't know your name, but you complimented me and my abu. you have a partner for the rest of this weird ride back home!!!

ok maybe we can find someone who could bake the cake for us?? ammi does all the cooking. except!! i can make stuff from a box if we can find it. :) we'll just multiply it by like 70 or something.

[thedreamer]

And you have the same. Partners!

Easy enough! If we can't find the box mix, I'm sure I can track down the other stuff somewhere. Sugar and chocolate I think. That's all we need.

Oh and I'm the Doctor! What's your name?

[cosplayqueen]

then it's a plan!! i'll start asking around. i bet emilia knows!!

kamala! is your name seriously Doctor??? Do you have a crazy Desi mom who was trying to manifest a medical degree for you???

[thedreamer]

If you say that Emilia probably knows then I absolutely believe she does.

Seriously! I am a doctor of many things in fact but the name Doctor is one I chose for myself actually. When I left home a long time ago to travel the universe.

[cosplayqueen]

so you've tasted her awesome cooking and enjoyed all her good vibes too??? isn't she great??

............ no way. you can travel the universe??? like captain marvel??? :O are you a superhero too?? is doctor your codename?? it's simple but, really cool if it is!

[thedreamer]

I haven't had the pleasure yet but I've talked to her and she seems more than capable. And I trust your judgment!

Codename no, but good idea! I don't have a codename. Should I? Captain Marvel does, clearly they're onto something. Though I'm not not a superhero, just a traveler. Sometimes people need help so I help. But anyone would! How does Captain Marvel travel the universe?

[cosplayqueen]

codenames are all the rage back home for superheroes so i highly recommend it!!!

and that's totally something a superhero would say. FYI. Oh! She travels through like some kind of energy force? no one really knows that story. :'(

[thedreamer]

Okay I need a good one now! I'll have a think on it.

She sounds fab already, I'd love to meet her! And you. Officially I mean. Are you in Eidris or Minaras?

[cosplayqueen]

Minaras. :( No cool dragons for me. :(((((

But, yeah I'm totally down to meet!!!!

[thedreamer]

oh dreadful! well i'll find you soon and bring you back here to Eidris. see a dragon up close!

[cosplayqueen]

REALLY???? I JUST WANT TO TOUCH ONE. I WOULD BE SO HAPPY.


then maybe fly...... MOSTLY TOUCH.

[thedreamer]

I have a friend who can help us with that! She has a connection with the dragons. I've got your back on this don't worry!

[cosplayqueen]

yay!!! thank you!!! sloths are my fave, but DRAGONS. who says no to dragons?????