dragon... bachelor | round i

[sansdoute]

( We interrupt your regularly scheduled sinister updates for a casual transmission viewable by all. A chirpy, scantily clad mademoiselle takes stage introducing, one at a time, portraits or visual footage of various dragons as she names them. )

Laaaaaaaaadiiiiiiies and gentlemen! Wait no more, wonder less, time to meet this year’s fiery dragon contenders who’ll fall head and smoulder for each other, in the latest, scaled-up season of…

DRAGON BACHELOR

DARIUS

He’s… moderately tall. Not particularly exercised. His rider… gave up after the third day of mounting. His nestmates say, ‘Bro, we all know you’re drooling, not flaming,’ and ‘His mother has to come pick up his scales every week.’ He never woke up in time for the war. He’s looking for a girl who can char his meat, keep his nest tidy, has no male dragon friends and has reeeeaaaallllll thick wing curves. He has zero aspirations, but he knows the 10,000 actual gold pieces he invested to buy an invisible magical coin token will one day rake in big.

He is Darius, and he is our… Dragon Bachelor. And he needs your help to find a bride. Although, like. Any girl would be lucky to have a nice guy like him.

MARIADORA

Luscious. Strong. Some say the party doesn’t start until she enters the demonic summoning circle — then, it bursts into flame. On the weekends, she defeats entire prides of lions single-clawedly. She’s just ‘always where the arson is, oops.’ She thinks she can make a real dragon out of Darius. VOTE FOR MARIADORA.

ELLIANE

Sensitive. A scholar. Mastered every single art of the known universe. Scoured it for another few. Came back with the seed of the incarnated apocalypse. It was awkward. She wants to be looked in her eyes, not in her tail. She’s a career dragon, a sorceress, a near-sighted, oft-squinting visionary. She wants to see Darius grow. But like, not too much.VOTE FOR ELLIANE.

ASIRAA

Nurturing. Kind. Lover of tradition and fine ethics. Her heart yearns for a time when male dragons fought knights errant and females gladly hoarded. She wants children. Many children. So many children. Put down the children. Strip down yesterday’s slaughter blood off her, and you’ll see she has the hips for them. She’s a homemaker, and she wants to call Darius… Daddy. VOTE FOR ASIRAA.

Now, viewers, you know the ropes: they say you can't be lucky in both love and money, but Dragon Bachelor is here to prove common wisdom wrong. Every fine gentleman and lovely lady can put their house-paid 10,000-coin chip forward on their pick for handsome Darius's bride. What a catch!

If the stars blink your way, and Darius chooses your guess... you earn ten times the reward. Don't forget! You can always take advantage of the cheeky virgin sacrifice option and put down the names of other prospective brides. Cast your vote, and let the best dragon gall win!


( ooc: Rules of engagement:

— every character can bet 10,000, free of charge. The house covers the first token.
— Vote here on your dragon lady of choice — remember, persuade your colleagues to vote the same way, and you increase your odds of winning! Just pitch the virtues of your preferred dragon lady.
— Alternatively, suggest a character as a 'virgin sacrifice' (virginity optional) to appease mighty Darius, and vote to get them into the next round. You can also assume a well-meaning NPC put your character's name down. Why not?
— This is open to everyone, irrespective of whether they were assigned to Eidris or Minaras. It has 0% plot bearing. Make it rain.
— You can treat this as a regular network post and threadjack to your hearts' content.

)

Comments

VOTE YOUR HEART OUT

[sansdoute]

( One vote per character, worth 10,000 coins that the house covers. )

MARIADORA

[sansdoute]

( Party girls make the world go round. On fire. )

+1

[hatejakku]

She's the scariest one.

[ ... And that's apparently all the motivation Finn needs to put down all of his 10k-coin on this bet. Get him, girl. Put him on the straight and narrow.

Will Darius pick her? No idea. Finn's just hopeful like that. ]

[downswing]

Her spirit will hearten him.


( As long as it's. Not. Wangji. )

+1

[downswing]

She may flatter his temperament.



( ...and getting a dragon to win means both Wangji and Wei Wuxian aren't considered, sooooooooo. )

+

[beitangmoran]

It feels like they might well deserve on another.

+1

[valeas]

( C'mon, fire gals stick together. But also like, Emilia is genuinely worried Wangji might "win"?

Also x 2, she and Fei have plans and those plans need coin?

Mind your business. )

[downswing]

( Thank you ???? )

[valeas]

( She's got you. )

+1

[inferus]

( voting solely to further his wife-to-be's plans, because otherwise, he would not care about all of this.

but also, a warrior of fire who can take down prides of enemies with ease is clearly the best choice always. )

[valeas]

( )

+1

[rumorate]

[Besties supporting besties, clearly.]

+1

[growlies]

( Fei and Emilia have updated her on their plans for the money from this thing, and she saw those Mouse House conditions so she's down to vote for the good of the children. )

She will light a fire under his ass to kick him into gear. Someone needs to make a real dragon out of Darius, and why not this luscious, fiery bachelorette? Blood on her claws, a real fighting spirit at heart. Vote Mariadora today.

+1

[snowcleave]

[ All of this is very silly but what's not silly is funding a new orphanage so let's goooo ]

+1

[somebadnews]

[ Let no one find out how easy it is to bribe him with magic candles. ]

+1

[eternallywandering]

She can handle him.

ELLIANE

[sansdoute]

( She's a sexy, sexy dragon librarian. )

+1

[incantates]

If things don't work about between Lan Wangji and the dragon, I do have a fondness for scholars in possession of the seed of the apocalypse.

Also, are we really just going to gloss over the seed part?

+1

[enucleation]

I always appreciate another scholar, I'm certain Darius will learn much from her.

+1

[binghua]

Out of the options, she seems like she would be able to balance Darius the best, or at least be able to coexist with him.

Not that I am an expert on love, regarding humans or dragons, but that seems to make the most sense to me.

ASIRAA

[sansdoute]

( ...Daddy. )

[northerndragon]

[Look, never mind that this is the dragon version of his sister and see where that kind of thinking got her.]

She seems to be the sort of bride he seeks.

[downswing]

Demure, unassuming, maternal.

[northerndragon]

Aye. Not what I would want, but right enough for him.

I don’t know if he’s good enough for her. A fool, might be, but no Florian.

[downswing]

...Florian.

( WAIT, he has this. )

Your dragon, bound.