dragon... bachelor | round i

[sansdoute]

( We interrupt your regularly scheduled sinister updates for a casual transmission viewable by all. A chirpy, scantily clad mademoiselle takes stage introducing, one at a time, portraits or visual footage of various dragons as she names them. )

Laaaaaaaaadiiiiiiies and gentlemen! Wait no more, wonder less, time to meet this year’s fiery dragon contenders who’ll fall head and smoulder for each other, in the latest, scaled-up season of…

DRAGON BACHELOR

DARIUS

He’s… moderately tall. Not particularly exercised. His rider… gave up after the third day of mounting. His nestmates say, ‘Bro, we all know you’re drooling, not flaming,’ and ‘His mother has to come pick up his scales every week.’ He never woke up in time for the war. He’s looking for a girl who can char his meat, keep his nest tidy, has no male dragon friends and has reeeeaaaallllll thick wing curves. He has zero aspirations, but he knows the 10,000 actual gold pieces he invested to buy an invisible magical coin token will one day rake in big.

He is Darius, and he is our… Dragon Bachelor. And he needs your help to find a bride. Although, like. Any girl would be lucky to have a nice guy like him.

MARIADORA

Luscious. Strong. Some say the party doesn’t start until she enters the demonic summoning circle — then, it bursts into flame. On the weekends, she defeats entire prides of lions single-clawedly. She’s just ‘always where the arson is, oops.’ She thinks she can make a real dragon out of Darius. VOTE FOR MARIADORA.

ELLIANE

Sensitive. A scholar. Mastered every single art of the known universe. Scoured it for another few. Came back with the seed of the incarnated apocalypse. It was awkward. She wants to be looked in her eyes, not in her tail. She’s a career dragon, a sorceress, a near-sighted, oft-squinting visionary. She wants to see Darius grow. But like, not too much.VOTE FOR ELLIANE.

ASIRAA

Nurturing. Kind. Lover of tradition and fine ethics. Her heart yearns for a time when male dragons fought knights errant and females gladly hoarded. She wants children. Many children. So many children. Put down the children. Strip down yesterday’s slaughter blood off her, and you’ll see she has the hips for them. She’s a homemaker, and she wants to call Darius… Daddy. VOTE FOR ASIRAA.

Now, viewers, you know the ropes: they say you can't be lucky in both love and money, but Dragon Bachelor is here to prove common wisdom wrong. Every fine gentleman and lovely lady can put their house-paid 10,000-coin chip forward on their pick for handsome Darius's bride. What a catch!

If the stars blink your way, and Darius chooses your guess... you earn ten times the reward. Don't forget! You can always take advantage of the cheeky virgin sacrifice option and put down the names of other prospective brides. Cast your vote, and let the best dragon gall win!


( ooc: Rules of engagement:

— every character can bet 10,000, free of charge. The house covers the first token.
— Vote here on your dragon lady of choice — remember, persuade your colleagues to vote the same way, and you increase your odds of winning! Just pitch the virtues of your preferred dragon lady.
— Alternatively, suggest a character as a 'virgin sacrifice' (virginity optional) to appease mighty Darius, and vote to get them into the next round. You can also assume a well-meaning NPC put your character's name down. Why not?
— This is open to everyone, irrespective of whether they were assigned to Eidris or Minaras. It has 0% plot bearing. Make it rain.
— You can treat this as a regular network post and threadjack to your hearts' content.

)

Comments

[incantates]

That I agree with but not sure marriage to a lizard is the best route. You could have just invited him to a fanciful rave for the evening.

[soulsrob]

I think he would just teleport away if I were to try.

At least the dragon is a large bragging right. Wonderful conversation starter!

[incantates]

You know, I didn't expect to be swayed a second time, but how am I going to turn down bragging rights and a wonderful conversation starter? I'm sure it'll take Five's mind off ...just about everything else going on.

[soulsrob]

I really can't think of anything better to take one's mind off of literally everything than one's potential marriage to a dragon!

[She says this very cheerily and sincerely.]

So exciting.

[incantates]

Yes, although I'd like to recuse myself from responsibility if he responds to this less than favorably.

[ Not that he'd blame Five for it really. ]

[soulsrob]

He won't do anything to me, I'm not worried in the slightest. He's a dear friend, I'm sure he'll see the humor in it, in time.

Especially since it's so unlikely he'll even be picked anyhow. The risk is so low!

[incantates]

To you, no. You're adorable. To me, I'm sure I'd never hear the end of it. But you're right, he'll likely be crowned as a runner-up behind the dragonesses and Lan Wangji.

I hope he doesn't take it too hard.