dragon... bachelor | round i

[sansdoute]

( We interrupt your regularly scheduled sinister updates for a casual transmission viewable by all. A chirpy, scantily clad mademoiselle takes stage introducing, one at a time, portraits or visual footage of various dragons as she names them. )

Laaaaaaaaadiiiiiiies and gentlemen! Wait no more, wonder less, time to meet this year’s fiery dragon contenders who’ll fall head and smoulder for each other, in the latest, scaled-up season of…

DRAGON BACHELOR

DARIUS

He’s… moderately tall. Not particularly exercised. His rider… gave up after the third day of mounting. His nestmates say, ‘Bro, we all know you’re drooling, not flaming,’ and ‘His mother has to come pick up his scales every week.’ He never woke up in time for the war. He’s looking for a girl who can char his meat, keep his nest tidy, has no male dragon friends and has reeeeaaaallllll thick wing curves. He has zero aspirations, but he knows the 10,000 actual gold pieces he invested to buy an invisible magical coin token will one day rake in big.

He is Darius, and he is our… Dragon Bachelor. And he needs your help to find a bride. Although, like. Any girl would be lucky to have a nice guy like him.

MARIADORA

Luscious. Strong. Some say the party doesn’t start until she enters the demonic summoning circle — then, it bursts into flame. On the weekends, she defeats entire prides of lions single-clawedly. She’s just ‘always where the arson is, oops.’ She thinks she can make a real dragon out of Darius. VOTE FOR MARIADORA.

ELLIANE

Sensitive. A scholar. Mastered every single art of the known universe. Scoured it for another few. Came back with the seed of the incarnated apocalypse. It was awkward. She wants to be looked in her eyes, not in her tail. She’s a career dragon, a sorceress, a near-sighted, oft-squinting visionary. She wants to see Darius grow. But like, not too much.VOTE FOR ELLIANE.

ASIRAA

Nurturing. Kind. Lover of tradition and fine ethics. Her heart yearns for a time when male dragons fought knights errant and females gladly hoarded. She wants children. Many children. So many children. Put down the children. Strip down yesterday’s slaughter blood off her, and you’ll see she has the hips for them. She’s a homemaker, and she wants to call Darius… Daddy. VOTE FOR ASIRAA.

Now, viewers, you know the ropes: they say you can't be lucky in both love and money, but Dragon Bachelor is here to prove common wisdom wrong. Every fine gentleman and lovely lady can put their house-paid 10,000-coin chip forward on their pick for handsome Darius's bride. What a catch!

If the stars blink your way, and Darius chooses your guess... you earn ten times the reward. Don't forget! You can always take advantage of the cheeky virgin sacrifice option and put down the names of other prospective brides. Cast your vote, and let the best dragon gall win!


( ooc: Rules of engagement:

— every character can bet 10,000, free of charge. The house covers the first token.
— Vote here on your dragon lady of choice — remember, persuade your colleagues to vote the same way, and you increase your odds of winning! Just pitch the virtues of your preferred dragon lady.
— Alternatively, suggest a character as a 'virgin sacrifice' (virginity optional) to appease mighty Darius, and vote to get them into the next round. You can also assume a well-meaning NPC put your character's name down. Why not?
— This is open to everyone, irrespective of whether they were assigned to Eidris or Minaras. It has 0% plot bearing. Make it rain.
— You can treat this as a regular network post and threadjack to your hearts' content.

)

Comments

un: Black Prince; text

[blackscales]

There is insufficient data here to make a selection.

text

[reparo]

It helps if you decide for Darius.

[blackscales]

You believe he should make a romantic commitment based on the opinions of others? I would have thought you against that sort of thing.

[reparo]

I am fundamentally against this whole thing. Don't vote, Wrathion. Join me in protest!

[blackscales]

Do you object to the gambling, the speculation on draconic love lives, or the volunteering of members of our party without prior consultation?

[reparo]

Yes.

[blackscales]

I assume you mean to indicate objection to all three?

[reparo]

Correct. I've been a volunteer bride to a secret fox spirit, there was nothing fun about that.


We remember what came out of it.

[blackscales]

I do not recall any particular harm, aside from perhaps to pride.

[reparo]

I could have died.

[blackscales]

You did not.

[incantates]

I'm concerned about what extra data you might need
to pick a spouse for a deadbeat dragon.

[blackscales]

He finds a strong wing appealing. I would need a better look at them, and knowledge of the normal courtship rituals they undergo.

[incantates]

You want to look at pictures of the female dragons
to assess their wing thickness.

Are you sure there are no ulterior motives to this request?

[blackscales]

They hold no particular appeal to me.

[incantates]

I have my doubts,
but I am sure someone more willing would be able to take scintillating close-ups
of the dragons for you.

Do you have any other traits you need to see for your assessment?

[blackscales]

Cooking ability he cited as a requirement, although I suspect Asiraa has that as she is described as a homemaker. Social circles and family history would be useful.

[incantates]

So old-fashioned.
Shouldn't our dragon bachelor simply learn to cook for himself?

And he'd be lucky to get a dragon with any kind of pedigree, given his own background.

[blackscales]

This is not my own preference. I am merely explaining what I would require to guess at who he might pick, not on if I think the idea is sound.

Certainly, he appears untested. Some, however, might... enjoy that.

[incantates]

A dragon that's a fixer-upper.
I suppose if the ladies are looking for a long-term project.

He wouldn't be my type, but I'm not the one who has to marry him.

[blackscales]

A weaker specimen can be easily shaped. Perhaps one of these potential matches may enjoy moulding him to their ideal.

[techmaturgy]

Please don't act like there's anythings scientific about this.

[blackscales]

More information would statistically improve your chance of choosing the correct result.

[techmaturgy]

This is still a gamble on the subjective and possibly mutable preferences of...Darius.

[who sounds like a loser, frankly]

Also, it's annoying.

[blackscales]

I believe gambling is the goal, yes. I won't argue on the final point.