un: worm wife / text

[wifedup]

( There is absolutely someone out there fucking with Wen Kexing, and so if anyone mentions the state of his new name he's going to commit Attrocities. He's here for a reason ... admittedly a potential wife reason, but still! You mention being a worm one time and fate laughs at you. )

It's come to my attention we're all very demure about our own skill sets. When it comes to trying to work together that reticence might be to our detriment. Especially considering the wealth of people we have here, what if one of us is in need of a carpenter and we don't know where to go? Or a scribe, those might be handy with all the terrible meetings we have to listen to. Or a healer, even.

( A healer especially, but he is the most subtle and anyone implying otherwise needs to be quiet. )

And so, I thought it might be a good idea if we instead shared what we were good at. I can go first.

Cooking.
A pursuer of scholarly endeavours.
Passable martial arts.
Provider of wine.

If anyone needs any poetry or lessons in how not to burn water then I am certainly your man. I know these aren’t exactly the more useful of skills, but there are bound to be more capable people out there. We need to help each other in these trying times, after all.

( We also need to not be lying bastards, but oh well. )

Comments

[lonelydream]

But it's not malevolent?

[wifedup]

You'd have to ask them the particulars, but I don't think so? They seem very against anything nefarious so I can't imagine they'd renounce evil and then go around holding possessed weapons.

Lan Xichen does want to talk to you eventually, maybe he'll tell you.

( Even if he does joke about keeping them apart. )

[lonelydream]

I'd like to meet him.
Lao Wen, what is "worm wife" meant to be in reference to?

[wifedup]

I didn't choose it.

Wait, did you think I wanted to be known as 'abwhorent' also? Because I'm not that bad, Ah-Xu!

[lonelydream]

I don't presume to understand how your mind works.

[ Except for how he sometimes absolutely does. Zhiji. ]

But I did find it a rather unusual choice.

[wifedup]

Hm.

Yours is seasonailed. You might not have noticed. But when I find out who's choosing them I'm going to set them on fire.

( :) :) :) )

[lonelydream]

Is it? Oddly apt.

[ and far too aware of his situation for his liking. the threat is very sweet, though. thank you Lao . ]

[wifedup]

No!

There are a dozen more important things it could have used. A pun on your waist would have been better. Or even your drinking, if it had to be mocking. I won't just set them on fire, I'll forcefeed them their own entrails first.

[lonelydream]

Peace, Lao Wen. It seems as though none of these names we write under are flattering.

[wifedup]

Yours should be.

( Can you hear the pout through text, Zhou Zishu? )

[lonelydream]

Ridiculous.

[wifedup]

That's me!

I'm going to cook for you tonight, by the way. So don't go getting up to mischief before then.

( He needs to clear his head and he needs to fuss and so this is how he can do both! And excellent idea. )

[lonelydream]

I don't get into mischief.

[ That's you. Also, of course Wen Kexing is going to cook. It isn't as though Zhou Zishu can, and the food here is...odd. ]

[wifedup]

Oh, surely not. Lord Zhou is only ever thrust into it by parties outside of his control.

( There have been too many rooftop fights for him to believe you! )

[lonelydream]

[ They started it. ]

Exactly. I'm glad you understand.

[wifedup]

( He's such a little shit, Wen Kexing likes him so much. )

All right, all right, go be upstanding somewhere else. Can't you see I'm busy scheming?

[lonelydream]

You keep doing things without me, Lao Wen, and I might get the wrong idea.

[wifedup]

Fine, come be pretty while I surreptitiously grill people on the benefits of knowing them. Is that better?

[lonelydream]

Much. Do you actually need an enforcer?

[wifedup]

No, but you are much nicer to look at than the ones I usually choose.

I'm fine. I'm on my best behaviour.

( Lan Wangji aside. )

[lonelydream]

You're so full of it. Are you at your office? I'll be there soon.

[wifedup]

I'll be here, pining away.

[lonelydream]

Stop.

[wifedup]

Stop pining?

Impossible! I am a creature of longing.

[lonelydream]

Ridiculous is what you are.