un: worm wife / text

[wifedup]

( There is absolutely someone out there fucking with Wen Kexing, and so if anyone mentions the state of his new name he's going to commit Attrocities. He's here for a reason ... admittedly a potential wife reason, but still! You mention being a worm one time and fate laughs at you. )

It's come to my attention we're all very demure about our own skill sets. When it comes to trying to work together that reticence might be to our detriment. Especially considering the wealth of people we have here, what if one of us is in need of a carpenter and we don't know where to go? Or a scribe, those might be handy with all the terrible meetings we have to listen to. Or a healer, even.

( A healer especially, but he is the most subtle and anyone implying otherwise needs to be quiet. )

And so, I thought it might be a good idea if we instead shared what we were good at. I can go first.

Cooking.
A pursuer of scholarly endeavours.
Passable martial arts.
Provider of wine.

If anyone needs any poetry or lessons in how not to burn water then I am certainly your man. I know these aren’t exactly the more useful of skills, but there are bound to be more capable people out there. We need to help each other in these trying times, after all.

( We also need to not be lying bastards, but oh well. )

Comments

[lonelydream]

Peace, Lao Wen. It seems as though none of these names we write under are flattering.

[wifedup]

Yours should be.

( Can you hear the pout through text, Zhou Zishu? )

[lonelydream]

Ridiculous.

[wifedup]

That's me!

I'm going to cook for you tonight, by the way. So don't go getting up to mischief before then.

( He needs to clear his head and he needs to fuss and so this is how he can do both! And excellent idea. )

[lonelydream]

I don't get into mischief.

[ That's you. Also, of course Wen Kexing is going to cook. It isn't as though Zhou Zishu can, and the food here is...odd. ]

[wifedup]

Oh, surely not. Lord Zhou is only ever thrust into it by parties outside of his control.

( There have been too many rooftop fights for him to believe you! )

[lonelydream]

[ They started it. ]

Exactly. I'm glad you understand.

[wifedup]

( He's such a little shit, Wen Kexing likes him so much. )

All right, all right, go be upstanding somewhere else. Can't you see I'm busy scheming?

[lonelydream]

You keep doing things without me, Lao Wen, and I might get the wrong idea.

[wifedup]

Fine, come be pretty while I surreptitiously grill people on the benefits of knowing them. Is that better?

[lonelydream]

Much. Do you actually need an enforcer?

[wifedup]

No, but you are much nicer to look at than the ones I usually choose.

I'm fine. I'm on my best behaviour.

( Lan Wangji aside. )

[lonelydream]

You're so full of it. Are you at your office? I'll be there soon.

[wifedup]

I'll be here, pining away.

[lonelydream]

Stop.

[wifedup]

Stop pining?

Impossible! I am a creature of longing.

[lonelydream]

Ridiculous is what you are.

[wifedup]

Yes yes, you're still here though, aren't you? So ridiculous must work somehow.

( And isn't that surprising. )

[lonelydream]

[ yeah he wonders about that too. ]

Should I go?

[wifedup]

( CAN YOU FEEL THE FORCE OF HIS POUT? )

And leave me even more bereft? You'll never win the favour of the ladies if I'm weeping into my wine.

[lonelydream]

What do I care about the favour of ladies when you're around?

[wifedup]

Because I do!

Lan Xichen told them I had a husband back home once, and they gave me the cold shoulder for a week. I'm nice to them and even that wasn't enough!

[lonelydream]

[ Husband, huh. ]

And what did you say to that?

[wifedup]

( ...

...

... Well, he didn't dissuade them. )

Ah, nothing? They were trying to set me up, Ah-Xu. A husband is a good excuse.

( And he'd liked it, had spent a bit of time imagining the way it would have sounded, his husband, Zhou Zishu. He probably shouldn't mention that. )

[lonelydream]

I suppose it is. You're very popular, Lao Wen.