un: absterge | video | backdated to pre-Colosseum rattling

[downswing]

( Behold: that inexorable moment when a man with the tolerance of a baby kitten has infiltrated the nefarious tavern of Livius Decimus, had precisely two licks of the obligatory drink, and is now alone, sword drawn, brooding morosely at a vast table covered in castaway parchment pieces that two large brown and spotted rabbits are diligently chewing on.

After fifteen seconds of blinking at the pendant: )

Greeti.. ( ...nnnnngs? ) What. did.. what did the... ( Wake up, Lan Wangji, wake up — ) Pro - presss... pros. Proscription lists. What did they look like?

( ...possibly like the parchment scraps one of the rabbits annihilates on camera, while a nearby thug gentleman of criminal arts, seemingly in the know, mutters, You son of a — )

...my son? Mmmmmmmmm. Gentle. Little... not so little? Was little. Kind. Wise. Speak of... yes. Let me speak of my son. He will never marry. Must stay little. In my coin purse. Children are... for safe-keeping.

( ...in coin purses. Does the thug agree? How can he not. )

Comments

next thing he knows someone shows up with a collar "even better than ribbons" says drunk wangji

[weifinder]

Stop saying that! Stop talking to the dog! It shouldn't be anywhere near our daughters! It'll eat them! Whole!

not now, he's having a crisis

[downswing]

Shou... shouldn't... be near daughters?

the problem with calling his husband a dog

[weifinder]

Dogs eat rabbits! They tear them apart! Like they tear into children! And they chase them until their hearts break! I've seen it!

[downswing]

To be... be banished? From... daughters?

[weifinder]

Dogs cannot be trusted! Mostly!

[downswing]

Cannot be trusted.

[weifinder]

Because it's a dog. And dogs are horrible. And vicious.

[downswing]

What... must I do? To the dog.

[weifinder]

I don't know, run?

[downswing]

...shall run. From the dog.

[weifinder]

Yes, do that, get away from that thing, make sure the girls aren't left behind!

[downswing]

...shall. Be — ( Is his voice breaking -- ) Be well. Wei Ying.

[weifinder]

... Yes? When you get away from dogs it's generally better? Unless you're my brother or my nephew?

[downswing]

( NEVER TO ANSWER AGAIN. YOU DOG. )

[weifinder]

Lan Zhan?

[weifinder]

... Lan Zhan?

[weifinder]

Lan Zhan?!

[weifinder]

Lan Zhan!

[weifinder]

Did it bite you?! Are the rabbits okay!?

[weifinder]

I'll call Jiang Cheng, he knows how to handle those beasts!

[weifinder]

Just hold on! Climb high! Dogs can't get you if you're on a roof!

[weifinder]

Jiang Cheng isn't answering, let me call Wrath —

[scrapgege]

I can help with dogs too!

[He is the most helpful.]

[downswing]

Help the best boy.

[downswing]

( THE MOST AMUSED. )


...good boy. Are you?