un: absterge | video | backdated to pre-Colosseum rattling

[downswing]

( Behold: that inexorable moment when a man with the tolerance of a baby kitten has infiltrated the nefarious tavern of Livius Decimus, had precisely two licks of the obligatory drink, and is now alone, sword drawn, brooding morosely at a vast table covered in castaway parchment pieces that two large brown and spotted rabbits are diligently chewing on.

After fifteen seconds of blinking at the pendant: )

Greeti.. ( ...nnnnngs? ) What. did.. what did the... ( Wake up, Lan Wangji, wake up — ) Pro - presss... pros. Proscription lists. What did they look like?

( ...possibly like the parchment scraps one of the rabbits annihilates on camera, while a nearby thug gentleman of criminal arts, seemingly in the know, mutters, You son of a — )

...my son? Mmmmmmmmm. Gentle. Little... not so little? Was little. Kind. Wise. Speak of... yes. Let me speak of my son. He will never marry. Must stay little. In my coin purse. Children are... for safe-keeping.

( ...in coin purses. Does the thug agree? How can he not. )

Comments

un: abwhorent / audio

[wifedup]

( Oho. )

Master Lan, this is the first truly agreeable thing you've said. There should be some sort of deal one could make to keep a child small. Though perhaps not coin sized, those are easily lost. Maybe a turnip sack?

[downswing]

( You absolute fool, Wen Kexing, don't you know: )

Ra... ( Give him a moment. ) Rabbits. ( A WHOLE WORD. )

Eat... the. Eat them. The. ( ...turnips. )

un: starlingroad | video

[starlingroad]

[Because he absolutely must see her slightly disapproving look and crossed arms. Honestly, some grownups.]

Children grow up. But...what did you do? I don't think you should go after the lists right now.

video: yiling laozu

[weifinder]

Ah, Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan, how about you sit down? You're right, children are for safe-keeping, and then they grow, and they live lives beyond us, but that's not right now, is it?

( Wei Wuxian is doing his best trying to coax over the pendants, likewise wondering: where is his husband lurking in drunken stupor with his ridiculously intact fighting skills?! )

Two of your daughters are eating something right now that'll make them unwell, can you collect them away from the papers? Where are you?

[downswing]

...not going. Sitting. ( And nodding along to her wonderful composure and posture, what a lovely daughter - ) Stay small.

[wifedup]

Do they?

( He only knows how to cook them, unfortunate. )

Then perhaps, something a tad larger. But still easily hefted on one's hip? Basket sized children seems acceptable.

audio

[scrapgege]

Do you need help to find him?

[starlingroad]

Okay! Good. ( America has some relief. )

( Not lovely! Mad. Scowl. See? )

( Only that expression twists to confusion. )

I don't think it works like that unless you have a spell to keep me small.

[downswing]

...wobbling. They... ( Why are you like this, Lan Wangji. Why are you raising your own hand, to show your own fingers walking to the pendant — ) Wobbbbbble.

audio

[weifinder]

( a dry sort of chuckle: )

Only before he starts fighting everyone there and winning...

[downswing]

( ...oh!

Oh! Oh!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh.

Wait for it: the protracted, pained delay. The bated breath. The slowed, careful, far too fond: )

...Wei Ying.

[wifedup]

They do!

( This is the best day, he is delighted. )

But alas, the whims of us mothers will never be fully followed, and children must grow. I'm sure yours is a fine upstanding man, much like yourself.

[downswing]

Shhhhhh... ( Don't let reality here. ) Stay. Stay small.

[starlingroad]

( Okay, yeah, he's so not listening to that one. Next curiosity. )

How is your son, anyway?

[downswing]

...handsome.

1/2

[downswing]

Better. The better... ( The better man, always. Far better. Ah, but his smile turns fond. )

[downswing]

( ...wait. Mothers. )

You... birthed?

video; un: owllady

[traaaaaash]

[ Oh. Ohhhhhh. This is fantastic. ]

Did Mr. Prim-And-Proper have a little bit of a drink, perhaps?

[starlingroad]

( Hopefully that means he's doing well. America shakes her head. )

So is also okay?

un: man's greatest treasure / audio

[reparo]

[Well. At least he's not lost in sewers with a boatfull of chickens, this time.]

I'm not sure what exactly brought up the bit about marriage, but I don't disagree that everyone should know how lovely he is.

[downswing]

( So many........ words. )

...perhaps. ( He knows that one. )

[weifinder]

( An immediate smile, some degree of concern in his features but not so much his voice. Oh, Lan Zhan can take care of himself certainly, that's not the worry, but he worries because, because...

... Because he cares, and because there's something precious about Lan Zhan's utter inability to tolerate alcohol or pick up his brother's way of handling it. It's almost like respecting the alcohol, but also isn't on any level actually because Lan Zhan's respecting the alcohol. )

Hi, Lan Zhan. Where are you?

[downswing]

In health. ( Far too convinced. ) Kind. Like... ( 15... blinks... later... ) America.

video; average sighren

[lanclan]

[ Oh noooo. ]

Didi, where are you?

1/3

[downswing]

( GATHER ALL, FOR THE LESSONS OF FATHER WANGJI. )


Marriage is... chaos.