un: absterge | video | backdated to pre-Colosseum rattling

[downswing]

( Behold: that inexorable moment when a man with the tolerance of a baby kitten has infiltrated the nefarious tavern of Livius Decimus, had precisely two licks of the obligatory drink, and is now alone, sword drawn, brooding morosely at a vast table covered in castaway parchment pieces that two large brown and spotted rabbits are diligently chewing on.

After fifteen seconds of blinking at the pendant: )

Greeti.. ( ...nnnnngs? ) What. did.. what did the... ( Wake up, Lan Wangji, wake up — ) Pro - presss... pros. Proscription lists. What did they look like?

( ...possibly like the parchment scraps one of the rabbits annihilates on camera, while a nearby thug gentleman of criminal arts, seemingly in the know, mutters, You son of a — )

...my son? Mmmmmmmmm. Gentle. Little... not so little? Was little. Kind. Wise. Speak of... yes. Let me speak of my son. He will never marry. Must stay little. In my coin purse. Children are... for safe-keeping.

( ...in coin purses. Does the thug agree? How can he not. )

Comments

un: abwhorent / audio

[wifedup]

( Oho. )

Master Lan, this is the first truly agreeable thing you've said. There should be some sort of deal one could make to keep a child small. Though perhaps not coin sized, those are easily lost. Maybe a turnip sack?

[downswing]

( You absolute fool, Wen Kexing, don't you know: )

Ra... ( Give him a moment. ) Rabbits. ( A WHOLE WORD. )

Eat... the. Eat them. The. ( ...turnips. )

un: starlingroad | video

[starlingroad]

[Because he absolutely must see her slightly disapproving look and crossed arms. Honestly, some grownups.]

Children grow up. But...what did you do? I don't think you should go after the lists right now.

[downswing]

...not going. Sitting. ( And nodding along to her wonderful composure and posture, what a lovely daughter - ) Stay small.

video: yiling laozu

[weifinder]

Ah, Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan, how about you sit down? You're right, children are for safe-keeping, and then they grow, and they live lives beyond us, but that's not right now, is it?

( Wei Wuxian is doing his best trying to coax over the pendants, likewise wondering: where is his husband lurking in drunken stupor with his ridiculously intact fighting skills?! )

Two of your daughters are eating something right now that'll make them unwell, can you collect them away from the papers? Where are you?

audio

[scrapgege]

Do you need help to find him?

[downswing]

( ...oh!

Oh! Oh!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh.

Wait for it: the protracted, pained delay. The bated breath. The slowed, careful, far too fond: )

...Wei Ying.

video; un: owllady

[traaaaaash]

[ Oh. Ohhhhhh. This is fantastic. ]

Did Mr. Prim-And-Proper have a little bit of a drink, perhaps?

[downswing]

( So many........ words. )

...perhaps. ( He knows that one. )

un: man's greatest treasure / audio

[reparo]

[Well. At least he's not lost in sewers with a boatfull of chickens, this time.]

I'm not sure what exactly brought up the bit about marriage, but I don't disagree that everyone should know how lovely he is.

1/3

[downswing]

( GATHER ALL, FOR THE LESSONS OF FATHER WANGJI. )


Marriage is... chaos.

[downswing]

So mu... so much. Much... chaos... hard. Chaos. Blood. Fire?

[downswing]

...no marriage.

video; average sighren

[lanclan]

[ Oh noooo. ]

Didi, where are you?

1/2

[downswing]

( ...oh. Oh, one of his three favourite people. Ah, a moment for his smile to bloom, hello. He... llo. )

[downswing]

With, ah... aaah... rabbits.

un: qishan | video

[silverneedles]

Have you ever been in a tavern before, Lan Wangji?

[ ah here is a beautiful moment she will forever remember, thank you lan wangji ]

When you wake up and need a hangover cure, please do come find me.

[ she won't mock him too much ]

[downswing]

...Wei... Ying? ( His voice, dropping down as if building a conspiracy: ) Secret. Drinks. Secret.


( So, of course, Wangji has been in a tavern, as a natural extension. )

un: bottled up inside | video;

[deescalate]

[Oh, buddy. Oh, pal.]

Hey, uh...your friend doesn't seem too happy over there.

[Also should a drunken man so easily have a weapon unsheathed? This seems like a catastrophe waiting to happen!]

[downswing]

( His frie -

...ah. His children? Yes. A slow pat on each of their rumps, while they continue aggressively chewing down the proscription lists. )

Happiest.

video — un: starburst.

[valeas]

( Look at the state of you, Lan Wangji.

Emilia squints a bit. )

Do you know what is in the parchment they're chewing?

[downswing]

( ...ah. It's — someone he must wave at, clumsily, with just the pass of his hand. Once. )

Writing.

un: pillar of the heavens | video

[inkfire]

Did you store your son in your coin purse, Senior? Sounds uncomfortable.

[ And he looks very tipsy, but Mo Ran is shameless and going to take advantage of this. ]

Did you pluck him out of a field?

[downswing]

His... mother. Did. Certainly did. Birthed him.

( HERE WE GO AGAIN. )

un: of corpse not / audio

[nothinglikefather]

[ Jacob has seen drinks before now. He's seen angry drunks and sad ones, amorous drunks and those that just fall fast asleep. And a lot, much like poor Lan Wangji that just seem...

Confused.]

Do you need a hand?

[downswing]

( Thank goodness, a respectable, reliable and most earnest individu - )

...where. Where are the lists?

( The rightmost rabbit politely annihilates another one. )

un: lockwood - audio

[recklessenough]

[ Had he been asked, point blank, to name members of their group he expected to see drunk, Lan Wangji's name would have been towards the very bottom. Though, as he watches for a moment, Lockwood finds himself realizing that was probably short sighted of him. Everybody has a breaking point. ]

It's been a bit of a time, hasn't it, Lan Wangji? [ Lockwood's deep voice is soft, kind. ] I'm afraid I don't have a ready answer [ to the lists, or the other matters the man is speaking about ] but how about I come down and see if I can help?

[downswing]

( Indeed, indeed. This shame was forthcoming. But, as Lan Wangji gazes balefully: )

...why? ( He has this under control. )

voice. | un: sloth baby

[cosplayqueen]

Are you drunk?! In some sketchy place?! Please tell me one of us picked you up by now! Along with the cute bunnies. We can't leave them behind at a time like this.

And please don't put kids in coin purses. They won't fit.

[downswing]

...son will fit. He's... he. Will. He will. ( Squinting at the pendant........ ) You would.

un: strange

[rehandle]

[ Well lookie what we have here ]

That's officially the most words I've ever heard you say at one time.

[downswing]

( Well........... then. )

Seeking... lists?

un: witchful thinking ☾ audio

[nochnaya]

Yes, do speak of your son. What is he like?

the w o r s t

[downswing]

He's... is... tall. Not so tall. Tall... but not. ( A moment, restarting Wangji.exe ) K... ind. Kind. Too kind.