un: xianxian of yunmeng jiang | video

[weifinder]

( The recording shows a small toad, black and red and gold, sitting in the palm of one hand. In another hand a brilliant emerald green toad is held, pointed in the direction of the smaller toad.

The smaller toad shifts to look "toward" the display, lifting up on front legs to address the one recording by pendant. )

I don't want to kiss the toad, Lan Zhan! Hnnngh.

( The toad, who spoke in Wei Wuxian's voice, shifts his legs and tiny bulk back around to stare down the larger toad. Who inflates its throat and offers a long, wheezing croak. )

Ugh. Fine. For the sake of proving this works before anyone else suffers through this —

( He abruptly leaps forward, smashing his small toad face into the larger toad's face. How does one kiss a toad when one has no notably amount of lip? Both Wei Toadxian's front feet plaster against the larger toad's face, attempting to keep the other toad respectable. Holding the awkward position for excruciating seconds. He falls backward, kicking off the other toad, to flop back into Lan Wangji's open palm. )

Was that long enough? I don't —

( Abruptly the image shakes with a yelp of Wei Wuxian's surprise as the screen is filled with pale flesh, mud, and the sudden forward falling scramble of a man who has now found himself with a palm filled with the weight of an adult human male. Welcome to the darkness, shifting, squelching sounds of mud and an irate toad expressing its displeasure even as Lan Wangji's equally excruciatingly dry voice ends the video with a: )

... efficient.

Comments

absterge | staying video for best David Attenborough narration

[downswing]

All fingers and toes, once returned.

( Is... he counting — )

Skin in health.

[weifinder]

( hissed: )

Lan Zhan! Give me your robe, do you have to prod me?! I'm all here!

[weifinder]

I am all here, right?!

un: qishan | voice

[silverneedles]

[ Wen Qing responds once she stops laughing, and her voice still sounds amused as she messages Lan Wangji. ]

No warts hiding in unfortunate places?

un: sizhui, image

[paperbutterflies]

Senior Wei! You are all right!

[ yes. he was worried. a little. ]

oh his beautiful child

[downswing]

Weeds pull out with difficulty.

[weifinder]

( still getting the visual of scattered light and dark buried in Lan Wangji's layered silks. )

I'm fine, I'm fine! Lan Zhan tested the toad first!

un: qishan | voice

[silverneedles]

How did you end up as a toad, Wei Wuxian?

[weifinder]

( from a screen displaying nothing really noteworthy (yet): )

I didn't do or fail to do a thing! It's that whatever his name is, the one parading around the poor young woman to try and blame further people for misfortunes and falling to seductive ways, yanking her around so rudely she set to laughing. Then this! This! It's one thing to earn yourself the emnity for a curse, I'm tired of this collateral damage, ah, same as accusations made leaping to conclusions!

( there's definitely the edge of deep ill at ease, and while yes, he whines over being caught up in sudden, horrific body changes forced upon him, he doesn't fail to find the greater fault; where the injustice lies in this situation, muddled by a curse in time and whatever else lies in wait ahead. )

un: anzhi

[balancedwire]

[ He won't say anything about what was seen but he's still a little confused. ]

Who exactly did that to you?

[weifinder]

( from the mostly dark blur, hear instead: )

The magic sourced to the young woman they're parading around town right now, the provocation provided by the mayor. There's context here we don't have yet, but I can say, being a toad is not pleasant!

[3point0]

Uh.

Are you two okay?

[ What did he just witness. ]

What even happened?

[weifinder]

Lan Zhan is fine, the mud will wash off! If the memory of a toad smacking his lips with its tongue might not.

( he sounds a touch amused at that, in a grim sort of that's as it goes way. shifting robes and mud and some bare feet, that's the extent of what's showing right now. )

Have you seen the mayor dragging around that young woman in chains?

tex;

[reparo]

[ eh. nothing she hasn't seen before on a ship at sea. ]


You were a toad.

delayed since he doesn't note texts until he's back to his other device | un: yiling laozu

[weifinder]

An experience I highly recommend against!

video; un: owllady

[traaaaaash]

The moist life wasn't for you, then?

[weifinder]

( verbal only, since the video still sees confused mud and robes and green now: )

I'll have you know toads are dry!

... Until they get in the mud or water. But their tongues are always moist, and it's terrible.

un: yuheng; video;

[wooden_one]

[...]

Is that the only way to return to normal?

[He hadn't yet turned into a toad but now he doubly doesn't want to...]

[weifinder]

The only bearable way!

( the other way is to wait eight hours when everything can eat you and you're suffering extreme body dissonance, it's not recommended )

text; un: sticks and stones

[perceptive]

( well, that is really unfortunate. )

I hope you don't mind me asking. ( he really can't help but be curious. ) What was it like? Being a toad.

at a delay due to when he collects his pendant again | yiling laozu

[weifinder]

Absolutely, completely horrifying.

When I swallowed, my eyes pulled into my head! I opened my mouth and the tongue went flying out and pulled back in and you felt the whole disgusting length of it! Toads and frogs made to eat me, and my body didn't move like I wanted to, like I was trapped in someone else's tiny skin.

un: absterge | BUTTING IN

[downswing]

Banal. But arduously complained.

video, un: strange

[rehandle]

You're kidding.

[ Nobody's kidding, he witnessed what he witnessed with his own two eyes, but this is a personal attack on his sorcererly sensibilities. ]

[weifinder]

( welcome to the image of mud and dirt and robes and probably that's Wei Wuxian's leg, so before his voice follows with: )

May you be cursed to realise absolutely no one was joking.

( he sounds... sulky. this is exactly how stupid he felt for this whole situation and the ridiculous, unpleasant solution! )

( not here )

[lanclan]

[ While browsing the network on the device, once he has five minutes to investigate it, he comes to the conclusion that he has seen more of Wei Wuxian naked on top of his brother's hand than he ever really needed to. What a sentence.

Okay, then. Moving on to the next post ... ]

( not here )

[weifinder]

( look just because he's paler than your clan whites )