eastbound | un: xianxian of yunmeng jiang

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un: xianxian of yunmeng jiang | video

( The recording shows a small toad, black and red and gold, sitting in the palm of one hand. In another hand a brilliant emerald green toad is held, pointed in the direction of the smaller toad.

The smaller toad shifts to look "toward" the display, lifting up on front legs to address the one recording by pendant. )

I don't want to kiss the toad, Lan Zhan! Hnnngh.

( The toad, who spoke in Wei Wuxian's voice, shifts his legs and tiny bulk back around to stare down the larger toad. Who inflates its throat and offers a long, wheezing croak. )

Ugh. Fine. For the sake of proving this works before anyone else suffers through this —

( He abruptly leaps forward, smashing his small toad face into the larger toad's face. How does one kiss a toad when one has no notably amount of lip? Both Wei Toadxian's front feet plaster against the larger toad's face, attempting to keep the other toad respectable. Holding the awkward position for excruciating seconds. He falls backward, kicking off the other toad, to flop back into Lan Wangji's open palm. )

Was that long enough? I don't —

( Abruptly the image shakes with a yelp of Wei Wuxian's surprise as the screen is filled with pale flesh, mud, and the sudden forward falling scramble of a man who has now found himself with a palm filled with the weight of an adult human male. Welcome to the darkness, shifting, squelching sounds of mud and an irate toad expressing its displeasure even as Lan Wangji's equally excruciatingly dry voice ends the video with a: )

... efficient.

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You weren't a bad-looking toad.

And. Your husband saved you.

[ He still can't believe they're married. ]

So. Um. Are we gonna get accused of witchcraft?

I — hahaha, thank you! I had nothing to do with it, but I'm glad I wasn't the most horrible looking toad.

( it's ridiculous, but that soothes a part of his ego that is also, frankly, one he knows as a bit ridiculous. he's used to being attractive, okay. even if he doesn't like dogs, and being a fox for a while was deeply uncomfortable, foxes weren't ugly.

so thank you, buck, for being the One Person to assuage his ego about his toad self. )

Oh, he brought me down to the other toads, then made sure that one didn't eat me. Did you know toads eat each other? Swallow them whole. That one tried it!

( only superficially, Lan Zhan didn't allow the toad to actually get its mouth on Wei Wuxian. let his dramatics on this remain! dramatic! )

Ah, on that... some of us might? So far I haven't heard us being accused, but it's as possible as anyone else. From what I heard that kind of accusing has happened here before on past, mm, hunts. For those to blame.

Uh.

Well, that's kind of inconvenient for us if they want us to investigate what's going on, isn't it?

And no, I didn't. Glad to see you're human again, Wei Wuxian. No matter how cute you are as a toad, you're a lot more useful as a human. No offense.

None taken, as a toad the best I could do was be loud! I'm fond of being human too, and glad one cute person can recognise the cute even in a tiny... bumpy... small form.

( straining his credibility to consider a toad cute, but also, he was one, not one of the people he cares about. sizhui would undeniably be a cute toad. it's just Known. )

We may as well start with asking first, before they get to accusing. When were the witches first observed, have the witches made demands in the past, what is considered their allure, what are the strictures of the curse itself... having people chat about it is one way we'll gather information and parse through to what's helpful! Versus what's just storytelling for the sake of hearing their own voices.

Wait, wait, are there actual witches? We had a bunch of witch hunts at home - er, like hundreds of years ago. But we didn't actually have witches, that was all a myth.

[ So he just assumed that was the case here. Although there's so much magic that he's not sure why they even bothered to distinguish why witch magic is bad! ]

Mm, yes, we even travel with witches. Karsa, I know you've met her, for example. Hatisse, though she's... very outgoing.

( sexually. and in all opinions. she's who they convinced to not take over a woman being slowly soul stripped so her grandfather could take her over — and they stopped that happening too. )

Anyone else would have to choose to tell you themselves, but yes. Witches are real here and elsewhere. I don't doubt the power of the women in the lakes anymore than I'll forget being suddenly small and squashy. So squashy...

Well, if that ever happens to you again, I'll take you to Lan Wangji.

[ Sorry Wei Wuxian, he does not want to face the wrath of your husband for a cure kiss. ]

So, wait. What did she get accused of doing? Do we know? Like, does the mayor think she's responsible for all this...?

She stood accused of being seduced to the witches side, then turning from that path back to not. She's being paraded around in the hopes she'll identify who else here sympathises with the witches and may have turned from village interests first.

Well, that seems... like a problem. What if she just points fingers to avoid being hurt?

[ Yeah uh, he has no idea Wei Wuxian's backstory but it doesn't sit right with him to just accuse someone of something and punish them for it to try and get them to turn on others... ]

You see why the whole situation is concerning.

( nothing says she will, nothing that she won't. )

We'll need to understand these ladies and their stated cursing better than we do at present, without being set upon by the villagers.

Okay. Well, we should send magic people, right?

But like, clandestinely. People the villagers don't necessarily know are magic, maybe?

[ He doesn't know if he's helping at all. He's trying his best. ]

Paired with those less sensitive, in case being attuned to magic makes them open to influence. There are some positions we find ourselves in that may help, at? I'm a minstrel, as far as I can tell people expect me to be fanciful and follow stories.

What about you?

( buck is doing good simply in asking and trying to figure these things out, in Wei Wuxian's opinion )

Oh, I'm a pirate. I actually forgot that I wasn't really a pirate for a few days, but then, I don't know, this place is weird.

[ That's his excuse for everything. ]

Not all that helpful, though, maybe the town's seedy underbelly will have more information. I look fearsome, right? Do you have an eyepatch I can borrow?

Oh, the memory nonsense, my husband and I had that too. Things only cleared up at night, but that made everything more confusing at the time.

( hearing buck is ready to head into the pirate seedy side of things, he immediately offers: )

I don't, but Wen Qing or Madam Claire both are doctors, they may! You could also ask Karsa. She seems like an eyepatch procurement person!

Oh, great. I think it'll really sell the bit if I have an eyepatch, don't you think?

[ And then Wei Ying can handle other stuff. ]

Wait so, in the memory stuff, were you two still married?

It would also explain if you walked into anything when distracted, make noise about your missing eye!

( the question makes him blink, realising he never had wondered about the fact they had. )

I was only hoping we'd have enough to move out of the holy cave soon, but yes, we really did recall being married... different wedding, actually had a ceremony of some kind I barely remember now. Huh. It really did make things up in surprising ways, while being honest in others.

Oh.

Well... that's kinda sweet. That you had another wedding.

[ Aw. That really touches Buck's heart. ]

Sorry I couldn't come to either of them.

Supposedly in memory, but ask me any details, I'm not sure I ever had any!

( he sounds vaguely amused by this, because those alternate memories had truly faded so fast, once his own genuine ones returned. partly because he wholly dismissed them once he knew them false, partly because within them he'd felt constricted and never knew exactly why. )

No, no, no apologies, the sentiment of your heart is enough! Besides, the weddings with seeing are with the youth. Celebrate the long lives they embark on together!

Uh.

[ Youth??? ]

Aren't you like, 22? If you're not young I am actually ancient.

[ And Buck, being the youngest member of his team who isn't a probie, takes issue with that. ]

( a genuine, startled laugh at that — it's one of those things which should be obvious when he thinks about it, but he just doesn't. appearance and age are misleading for cultivators, even those who have no golden core, and he's hardly spoken about what he or a handful of the rest of their party are. )

Try about double that, ah? Martial cultivators tend to age slower, most of us continue looking like we're in our twenties well beyond them.

Holy crap, you're forty four??

Close to! We cultivators, even at less prestigious levels of energy cores, age outwardly much slower than we should. I'll stay young and handsome for a long time yet!

( delivered with a laughing wink, since he does know it's startling. clearly only for the visual disconnect. clearly. )

What? Can I cultivate that too? You look amazing!

The ideal age to start is under twelve, but it's not impossible for you to try. Lan Zhan could see if you have the possible makings of a golden core, ah? Then you'd need to train under and of the cultivators here, Jiang Cheng, Lan Sizhui, Lan Wangji, myself, Xiao Xingchen, Wen Qing...

( listing the people from his world in a musing fashion. )

All of them? Oh, I don't know, I don't wanna take up everyone's time like that.

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