audio | un: xianxian of yunmeng jiang

[weifinder]

( water sloshes, Ouhrsson proclaims his bear-ish hello, and Wei Wuxian shrieks as a crack and the skidding of porcelain across stone begins this misadventure, while he scrambles to helpfully call for help in a very helpful and helpless way: )

Haaaaaaaahaaaahahahahahaaaa how is the bear?! The bear! The bear's back!?

( yes, we may be mid revolution. yes, someone wanted a quick bath to clean off all the blood, sweat, tears, and whatever else is plastering itself across a person. yes, this should have been straightforward.

but now to anyone not purely hearing over their closed magical network, a bear just shoved his tub into the hall and nudged it to the top of the stairs, at the bottom of which... the gathered unrestful groups of people are about to meet a very wet, very poorly clothed wei wuxian, considering the tub is already starting to slide down the stairs with surprising ease while he shrieks. )

Comments

action;

[topoiran]

[ Su Xunxian was actually not on the network, trying to calm and direct the people into places less close to the residential areas for those from other realms, but he did hear the shout and turned up the stairs just in time to see the bathtub sliding down them. He barely has enough time to step out of the way, getting splashed. ]

This is an absolutely bad time for people who are wet to be out in the cold, my friend. [ This is said to the bear, of course, and he does add it in a way that he can understand. ] Please refrain from doing so again.

[ He will then calmly go up the stairs to retrieve some of Wei Wuxian's clothes and probably a towel because it's too cold to share. ]

[weifinder]

( as it is, given no amount of hearths burning will ever fill the entirety of these buildings even without a revolution going on, wei wuxian is thus left to, well. rise from the broken fragments of a tub who had held on respectably well to the end. soaked, with a marked shave section through his by now likewise respectable beard, he rises with suds sloughing down his narrow frame, hair plastering to his chest and shoulders, the only reason why the scar of his brand isn't evident.

before the eyes of the at times appraising public, he's bared, the bear huffing and muttering to xunxian once the man's crested the stairs. down below, wei wuxian, one who has never aimed to perform in this field in this way, breaks into a pained smile, tossing his hand at the quieted and blinking group of people who continue to stare, uncomprehending.

by the time xunxian rejoins them, wuxian has been granted one scarf too short to do more than barely cover bare assets when wrapped around his hips, people crowding around a mortified cultivator playing it as cool as he can while trying to keep the hands that do come up to find him occupied with his own hands, blessings, blessings, blessings to everyone, yes, once the citadel is steadied, none of this burning it down, that's life isn't it, life is progeny, a blessing for you too, madam, blessings cannot be stolen, only granted--

do help, xunxian, even mid revolution, people need something helping to break the tension, and hope burns brighter than every other fire to the desperate. children, at times, are hope. the future. a generation to come.

wei wuxian's retreat toward the stairs his tub slid down is fraught with people crowding around, and while he laughs and smiles and forces his shoulders away from stiff, he's both freezing cold, shivering, and still running adrenaline high, unable to come down. )

un: absterge

[downswing]

( He left this man alone to bathe an eighth of a shi to handle that dreadful business, a city-wide rebellion. How. )

You were unwatched but heartbeats —

[weifinder]

I doooon't knooooow!

( this is a hissed sort of wail. hissed, because by now, he's having to grin through bared teeth, in a rictus of a smile. his tub has come to a stop, shattering in large chunks, and he is here, birthed out of bathing waters and suds, to rise, bare.

no bear, that bastard's lurking up the stairs, but bare nonetheless. )

[downswing]

Wei Ying —

( What... what more can be even said? The dregs and tatters of Wei Ying's honour, dragged before the waiting rabble. )

Bear this indignity.

[weifinder]

Bear it, Lan Zhan?

( there is a high half-breathed in laugh of incredulity. WORD CHOICE, HUH?! )

[downswing]

( Oh no, why is this funny - ) You are accepted, no matter your immodesty.

un : dappled peals of the parted seas (voice)

[beitangmoran]

Why, Wei-gongzi, it really seems to like you.

If Xunxian is around, I'll send him round to help you out again.

[weifinder]

It could like me less. Bear assault! This is turning into its habit!

( hissed... as most things will be, as he is now forced to grin and bear (and bare) it. )

[beitangmoran]

It is unfortunate that it happens again just as the cold season is upon us. Truly your luck with this is astonishing, Wei-gongzi.

Ae you relatively safe?

[weifinder]

I'm nude, surrounded by revolutionaries, and standing next to shattered porcelain. So far, the only injuries are from that, and we're blessedly indoors, and ( now he's out of hissed language and speaking normally ) ahhahaha of course blessings for fecundity and future growth are always welcome!

( behold: hearing him be literally asked for a blessing by someone. while he's naked in a hall of revolutionaries. )

[beitangmoran]

Xunxian is on his way. Hold fast just a little longer.

un: absterge

[downswing]

We beg thanks.

[beitangmoran]

No thanks needed, Master Lan. We do what we must.

[downswing]

Against... a bear.

un: stormborn; audio

[thebrideoffire]

Where did it come from?!

[weifinder]

If I knew I'd tell someone to chase it back out! This is Anurr's stupid bear-creature!

un: chengmei

[thesuspense]

At this point, laozu, don't you think you're leading it on?

Must be something you're doing.

[weifinder]

My not so friend, at what point has bathing ever been leading anyone on, when performed nightly, for months, uninterrupted?

( hissed out between his teeth, as he's. rising from the waters that have birthed him... anew. here. and the broken tub. )

[thesuspense]

Bathing can lead to a lot.

[Evidently. He watches the fearsome grandmaster, wondering whether he should share candy some time. A bit slender, all things considered.]

I don't know. The bear just seems... [He gestures vaguely.] Fits with your tastes.

[weifinder]

Yes. Like being clean.

( deadpan as he can be while hissing replies and, well, breaking that up with addressing people talking at him. like. grand. he's felt naked before the public before, it's not been literal. )

I cannot imagine what inclines you to believe I favour large, hairy, undead creatures as a taste, Yangyang.

@starkov

[sankta]

umm... keep it distracted maybe?

[weifinder]

Do you think soap to the eyes will count?!

[sankta]

it'd distract me. sounds like a safe bet?

[weifinder]

( a splash. then: )

Didn't help!

( because now we hear him going down the stairs in a CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK SPLASHING manner )