eastbound | un: worm wife / text

( There is absolutely someone out there fucking with Wen Kexing, and so if anyone mentions the state of his new name he's going to commit Attrocities. He's here for a reason ... admittedly a potential wife reason, but still! You mention being a worm one time and fate laughs at you. )

It's come to my attention we're all very demure about our own skill sets. When it comes to trying to work together that reticence might be to our detriment. Especially considering the wealth of people we have here, what if one of us is in need of a carpenter and we don't know where to go? Or a scribe, those might be handy with all the terrible meetings we have to listen to. Or a healer, even.

( A healer especially, but he is the most subtle and anyone implying otherwise needs to be quiet. )

And so, I thought it might be a good idea if we instead shared what we were good at. I can go first.

Cooking.
A pursuer of scholarly endeavours.
Passable martial arts.
Provider of wine.

If anyone needs any poetry or lessons in how not to burn water then I am certainly your man. I know these aren’t exactly the more useful of skills, but there are bound to be more capable people out there. We need to help each other in these trying times, after all.

( We also need to not be lying bastards, but oh well. )

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I still think there's someone out there poking fun.

( If there's a puppetmaster, he's going to fight them. )

But ah, it's fine, I'm not too upset about it.

Mine's rather on the nose, if anything.

Please, there's nothing average about you.

Flattery from a worm's wife! Or is it a worm with a wife? How confusing!

( A huff of amusement. )

I thought it was implying I'm both a worm and a wife. Which isn't entirely inaccurate, I do aim for a life of luxury and housekeeping.

The most comely worm, though. None other would dress so well.

I'd certainly save coin for how little fabric a worm would need.

My sleeves would keep you dry, no fear. Put a little couch in there ...

( Delighted. )

Well, at least I know who to turn to if I'm ever changed into one. The great Zewu-Jun's sleeves are of the finest quality.

[ A soft snort passes for a chuckle, smiling softly. ]

You are always welcome, worm or not. [ Wait, that sounds a little weird. ] If you need something to wear.

( Oh, that reminds him. )

Did you ever think of acclimatising? I noticed some people do, but I don't know if the style here is for me. Though it would make us less obviously different.

I felt rather naked by comparison when I first tried.

They're so short.

And not to be lewd, but I have a lot of leg.

You do.

( Easily agreeable. )

Ah, maybe you should. You'll break even more hearts.

I've broken zero hearts. Absolutely none. Wherever this rumour is sprouting from, it has some nonsensical basis.

Mm, and the sighing men and women I see left in your wake don't count?

Crushes don't count, they're based on nothing substantial. Those people don't really know me, grateful as I am for their affections.

They know you, I tell them things.

Unimportant things if you are telling them.

The charming things.

The charm is for you, how ungrateful to spread it around.

Ha. As if it isn't effortless on your part.

You think I'm nice to everyone I meet?

I think if you're a bitch people are probably too dumbwitted to catch up on it, so the niceness sticks more so than the other thing.

( He's learned, okay? Lan Xichen is catty if he wants to be. That doesn't change the fact that if he asked a random person 'is Lan Xichen a nice man?' they'd say yes. )

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lanclan - 2023-11-08 14:07 (UTC) - Expand

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