un: worm wife / text

[wifedup]

( There is absolutely someone out there fucking with Wen Kexing, and so if anyone mentions the state of his new name he's going to commit Attrocities. He's here for a reason ... admittedly a potential wife reason, but still! You mention being a worm one time and fate laughs at you. )

It's come to my attention we're all very demure about our own skill sets. When it comes to trying to work together that reticence might be to our detriment. Especially considering the wealth of people we have here, what if one of us is in need of a carpenter and we don't know where to go? Or a scribe, those might be handy with all the terrible meetings we have to listen to. Or a healer, even.

( A healer especially, but he is the most subtle and anyone implying otherwise needs to be quiet. )

And so, I thought it might be a good idea if we instead shared what we were good at. I can go first.

Cooking.
A pursuer of scholarly endeavours.
Passable martial arts.
Provider of wine.

If anyone needs any poetry or lessons in how not to burn water then I am certainly your man. I know these aren’t exactly the more useful of skills, but there are bound to be more capable people out there. We need to help each other in these trying times, after all.

( We also need to not be lying bastards, but oh well. )

Comments

[nothinglikefather]

I learnt all my best traits from you. Well, some of them.

[wifedup]

Hm. Debatable.

( He finds it funny either way. )

How have things been, Master Frye? Still part of a gang of cutthroats?

[nothinglikefather]

Earning a little pin money on the side, yes. But you know I still have space on my dance card for you. Unless you've replaced me?

[wifedup]

I'm a respectable businessman, I don't know what you mean.

( He probably could use some help with more blackmail, actually. )

[nothinglikefather]

So coy, Wen. You know what I mean, a big, strong man is what you need. On the door.

[wifedup]

( A laugh. )

I didn't think that kind of work was your forté. But if you're getting lazy, then surely we can put you somewhere.

[nothinglikefather]

[ Don'tsaybetweenhisthighsdon'tsaybetweenhisthighsdon'tsaybetweenhisthighs]

You know I'll turn my hand to anything. Just ask.

[wifedup]

( HIS HUSBAND IS RIGHT THERE, JACOB. )

Mm. There might yet still be work for you. ( Lazily. ) I just haven't decided if I care enough yet.

[nothinglikefather]

[ He can be between his thighs too. He's very versatile. ]

Well, if you don't need me, just say. There's other things I can be doing. Wrathion could probably do with some assistance from someone who isn't a widow, orphan or veteran.

[wifedup]

What's left in a place like this when all those are dealt with?

( He's suddenly viciously curious, that's his nefarious partner in crime. )

[nothinglikefather]

Assassins, whores, gamblers and ne'erdowells I think.

[wifedup]

That's my entire clientele.

( Curiously. ) What exactly is Master Wrathion having you do?

[nothinglikefather]

[ As much as they're one team and all that, some habits are hard to break. ]

That's really something you should ask him. It's not the done thing to tell clients about each other, as I'm sure you're aware.

[wifedup]

Ugh.

Fine, be that way.

[nothinglikefather]

You're the one who doesn't want to hire me anymore. So I suppose it goes both ways Wennie.

[wifedup]

Aiy, I never said that! I've just been a little busy.

[nothinglikefather]

Those girls do keep you on your toes don't they?

[wifedup]

( He thinks about being coy, but then Jacob does have a tendency to find him regardless. Honesty is presumably the best policy. )

Someone from home turned up, shortly after the arena attack. I've told you about him, my Ah-Xu. I've been helping him settle.

( STARING AT HIS FACE CONSTANTLY, HE MEANS. )

But the world waits for no man, I suppose. We still have all that boring Messalina business to attend to.

[nothinglikefather]

[Ah, that's the explanation. It's a fair one too, he's well aware that having someone arrive from home, especially someone you care for, must be welcome. It must also be a painful reminder that they aren't home.]

I suppose that has rather distracted you.

[wifedup]

You could say that.

( He's pretty and dying, that takes a lot of time up. )

Don't fret, I haven't forgot what we're doing here. Though you'll probably run into each other at some point. I have to put him to work or he'll drink my bottles dry.

[nothinglikefather]

You should get into the brewing business.

[ Between Wen Kexing and his... friend a brewery might just keep them in their bottles.

Probably wouldn't be enough let for Jacob though. ]

[wifedup]

Who says I haven't tried?

( Wine in Ghost Valley used to be scarce. )

Mm. But no, never again. It's not for me - the smell.

( He's Fussy. )

[nothinglikefather]

The smell? You're brewing the wrong stuff then. Beer smells wonderful while it's being made. Like hops and malt. You might like that more.

[wifedup]

I'll leave the brewing to the more capable, and the drinking to me, if it's all the same.

( He might not have the same patience now as he once did. )

[nothinglikefather]

Well if I ever get old, retire back to the countryside and set up my own brewery, I'll give you a discount.