eastbound | un: bashful bard of the emboldened flute

[ there's a low, sardonic drawl from the other end of the line. ]

So shall I charitably assume you didn't realize you were wearing your quartz, or shall I less charitably assume you wanted to involve everyone else listening in some kind of petty personal drama?

[ EXCUSE YOU DONT LIKE DONT READ!!!! ]

Depends on if you would like me to charitably assume you're lonely enough to resort to making snide, superior comments to random strangers, or less charitably assume your life is so pathetic you hang out on the network waiting for any opportunity to make snide, superior comments to random strangers.

Why would I have to hang around waiting for something like that when there are apparently people perfectly willing to deliver their nonsense straight to my ears over the quartz while I'm engaged in my own business? Or are you about to tell me this is somehow relevant to the rest of us after all?

I'm saying it's a certain kind of person who elects to stop and make a big deal out of a mild annoyance instead of moving on with their day.

[ And that kind of person is Jiang Cheng. ]

Has your petty personal drama led to life-threatening peril, or is going to lead to life-threatening peril? Do you have some kind of lead on getting out of here? A warning for the group? Information to share? Anything remotely useful or actionable whatsoever?

If not, why shouldn't I complain? No one wears this quartz so we can listen to strangers grousing in the middle of the damned night.

Pretty sure you just like to complain.

You really did get on the damn thing by accident, didn't you.

[ his voice goes even drier ]

Or, wait, is this our little group's first drunk dial?

I wish I was drunk.

[ Pointedly not admitting to griping to the entire network on purpose. ]

Do you really have nothing better to do than mock me at length?

[ A little mockery he gets, happens to him all the time. But you're really milking it here buddy. ]

What, did you not send this out to all of us specifically to be mocked? Do you mean to say there's some sort of actual point to your transmission?

[ that deep drawl is drier than the Sahara at this point ]

I am trying to stay awake while strapped to a cursed tree alone now that my companion is dead asleep so forgive me for trying to find a way to pass the time.

........why didn't you lead with that, then? It makes about fifty percent more sense than the gibberish you were spouting before.

Though I can't imagine what possessed the pair of you to get involved in that mess. Is there even anything to gain from it? [ he's just vaguely aware of the Anurr legends, though the unease and discontent and occasional skirmish going on between the two Sa-Hareth factions right now is much harder to miss. ]

Why would there need to be something to gain? We are cultivators from respected families. We're duty-bound to investigate such happenings.

First of all, I assume you've been here long enough to be aware that whatever that might be, it means little to most of the people here, myself included.

Second... if you don't believe there's something to gain from it, not even from an investigation...

Then what I'm hearing is you tied yourself to a tree all night, out in the freezing forest, alone with -- the Lan, was it?-- Essentially just because you could?

[ he sounds so deeply amused at your expense, Jiang Cheng ]

I have to say, that's not a fate I would wish on anyone. Are you a masochist?

( Ah, but to be a conveniently timed, muted, sleeping groan caught on the periphery of Jiang Cheng's quartz piece, which may or may not resemble a 'Yes.' )

[ Angrily shrugs his shoulder on Wangji for making that disgusting noise. He's thinking of ripping off the Lan headband and tossing it into the woods, but that would involve touching it. ]

( There is a line and a threshold and a limit to the natural traffic of salt or disgruntlement one tree and tree-mate can suffer, before eyes blink bright awake and the previous humming dissolves into earnest caresses, sotto voce, of — )

...silent.

( One of you. Both of you. Heavens part and strike you. May your ancestors diligently conclude you are the spiritual equivalent of adolescent pregnant high-school dropouts, staining the collective honour. )

Not because I could! What part of duty-bound is difficult for you?!

[ This outraged cry is followed by a prolonged silence of Jiang Cheng making several, increasingly furious false starts before finally, he speaks again, hushed— ]

.......what's a masochist?

[ there's a brief, sharp laugh from the other end of the line. Congrats, Jiang Cheng, not many people can get that out of him. ]

Believe me, you don't want me to be the one to answer that question for you.

And who decided this particular thing was your duty? You yourself? If so then we are back to because you could. If not, I suppose that would make this someone's order? What use is duty that leads you to do something completely useless? If you don't believe anything of worth will come out of your investigation, then hang duty. In any functioning hierarchy one must know when to follow orders, and when to ignore them because they're idiotic. [ dryly again ] I do at least fully believe in the Lan's ability to issue idiotic orders.

[ Fox just kind of looks down at his even-less-useful-than-his-ancient-nokia-cellphone crystal communication device, and wonders who is using it like a Rumblr post.

... It's kind of refreshing, considering how much political shit has coming over this thing.

So. Sure. Why not. ]

... You okay there, buddy?

I am tied to a tree with an overgrown, murderous infant!!

[ So to answer your question, he is absolutely not okay. He does not even have a passing relationship with okay, has not for about twenty years. But this is also Lan Wangji's fault. ]

Oooookaaaaaay.....

Why are you tied to a tree with, um, a murderous baby?

Why do you have a murderous baby?

can babies even commit murder--

Not a literal baby, he's just— Fussy, and needy, and contrary, no idea how to use his words, and already sleep—

Edited 2021-06-03 23:21 (UTC)

Okay so let's forget the baby part and focus on the tree part, then?

Why are you tied to a tree??

[ Stop complaining so much, Jiang Cheng, it's not healthy. ]

Why did you agree?

[ An angel descends upon his nighttime griping, unrequited captor of his heart, and does he recognize her voice? Absolutely not. He doesn't even stop to go 'huh, that sounds familiar, like happier times before war descended and I lost all the budding validity I had as a person'. He just goes right on complaining. ]

I don't know, blind optimism? The naive presumption that professionalism would outweigh the need for a toddler's bedtime? Jin Ling's curfew was later than this by the time he was twelve. Night hunts indeed—

[ Keep complaining, that's definitely one way to win over people. But the grumpiness is almost comforting, in an odd way; he hasn't changed that much. ]

Or did he fall asleep to escape conversation?

[ Jiang Cheng lets out a scoff. ]

He wouldn't make the effort, he'd just sit here in stony, contrary silence, glaring, or maybe his face is just stuck like that after all this time.

[That voice probably sounds familiar, but the inflections and vocabulary are all wrong.]

... Are we expected to do something about this, gongzi, or was that just general griping shared with everyone because you enjoy troubling other people's rest ?

That's Sect Leader. [ If you're going to use a sarcastic title, fake brother, at least use the correct one. ]

And if you're trying to rest, are my complaints any more troubling than any of the other rambling that comes over this channel? Set your magic crystal aside if you're trying to sleep. I see Wei Wuxian's face came with his lack of good sense.

... What is a Sect Leader?

[Oh, and in case you thought he couldn't get more irritating...]

I was not sleeping, but it is hard to concentrate on working when one had random background commentary coming in.

The leader of a sect. I lead the Yunmeng Jiang Sect, ergo am their Sect Leader.

And regardless of what activity you're involved in, put the damn network device away if it's bothering you!!

.... And what is a sect, then?

[because that still doesn't answer the question, in fact.]

I am using it to work, so I can't very well put it away.

Well, it is comfortable enough to sleep if you're not really picky, to be honest.

What's wrong with you.

Did I say something wrong? I've slept in worst places, to be honest.

... Well, the coffin was more comfortable because I could lie down, but this isn't bad.

Why were you sleeping in a coffin—

Well, I ended up there because a lot of things happened, and I was tired, so I figured I might as well rest a while before getting out. No one was going to bother me in there.

[Oh dear.

very gently, sympathetic:] Would you like to talk about it, dear?

Edited 2021-06-03 14:47 (UTC)

[ Oh no a soothing female voice. ]

He's just infuriating. Everything about him is abrasive, you know? His mere existence chafes somehow. I'm not a particularly impatient man. I raised Jin Ling! I have tolerance! But him...!

And yet my brother can't get enough of him. Why? With his dour face and dour personality and dour mourning clothes. And now he's a war hero, and everyone else loves and fawns over him as well, for what? What has he done? We all fought in the war!

It's disgusting. I can't believe it, except I absolutely can believe it. The pretty boy is just coasting on his good looks, blinding everyone to the the cavernous flaws of his complete lack of a personality—

[She makes sympathetic noises as Jiang Cheng speaks up, letting him get it out until she cuts in with a clucking of her tongue] It's hard not getting the recognition you deserve just as rightly as someone else.

What was that name you mentioned? Jin Ling? You managed to raise a good boy-- that's something you an be proud of over him! What's Jin Ling like?

( Enjoy the spark of background muffled sound captured by Jiang Cheng's quartz piece, which some might innocently translate as 'the shifting of a sleeping body finding ease,' but the truly knowledgeable will know as Lan Wangji's flesh and blood telegraphing, 'SATAN.' )

[ Ah, but to be a flesh-bound anchor, weighing down a fellow's neck. Wind whistles, the forest breathes, chills stoke and crystallise —

...and Lan Wangji, fettered to Ye Olden Timey Tree dozes on. And on. And on. With a disturbing, sect-rebelling amount of feeling.

Until gravity and Jiang Cheng's strike of bad luck conspire to the inevitability of a steady, ready, growing... droop. First, their arms brush together, feather-like. Their shoulders knock, bone to silk to bone.

Then, the final betrayal, when Wangji's head starts to a series of shameless, consecutive hostilities and conquers Jiang Cheng's shoulder.

'How can he sleep through this, in the cold and the dark and the wilderness and strapped to a tree like dinner roast?' the innocent might ask. Oh, he's only getting comfortable. Yunmeng shoulder pads are soft. ]

( It must sure suck, it must sure suck
To not have Wei Ying on your side
It must sure suck, it must sure suuuuuuuuck
To be Jiang Cheng without Wei Ying on your siiiiiiide

Every fist to the mouth has an equal opposite reaction
Thanks to Wei Ying, our sect world's fractured into factions
Try not to crack under the salt, your ulcer's getting subtitle captions
We smack each other on the road, and no Jin nephew's a distraction
I get no nc-17 satisfaction, witnessing Jiang Cheng's fits of passion
The way he looms and dooms and comes down, whip smashing
Our poorest Wens, our sugar babes, brace for his volcanic splashing
As he erupts in whiny, child-like purple trashing

This virgin is asking for someone to bring him to task
Clear out five minutes, no need to Zidian for his ass
Back of the hand, then to hold his teeth, a flask
Boy, you hurt for your brother, got a pain, you walk it
Remember it next time you make him kick the bucket

It must sure suck, it must sure suck
To not have Wei Ying on your side
It must sure suck, it must sure suuuuuuuuck
To be Jiang Cheng without Wei Ying on your siiiiiiide

Look back at every instigation (half I started!)
Your tears haven't dried

It must sure suck, it must sure suck
To not have Wei Ying on your side

So Jiang Cheng's doubled the whining
Wasn't the trouble with Yiling strife the whine?
Look in his eyes
See how he cries
How he fucks up and every time, it's a surprise
Bending in bows, shooing his brother, supporting Jin villains to his own benefit
Boy, you didn't not stop, you aided'n'abeted
And then you pine and wine, you swine
Somebody's got to shut up your sour mouth
Lucky, these silence spells never sell out
And if there's ever a fire you're trying to douse
Just pass me the brazier, and you enter the house

We're strapped to a tree, I am complicit
If I don't make the night bloody and explicit
If Wei Ying isn't gonna listen to precedent
Then that is no difference, but his bro is out

Oh! This Jiang asshole's got the spine of a willow
Oh! But he's still gonna work mighty fine for a pillooooooow
Oh! Let's show this dumbass what he's up against
Oh! A Lan who naps once 9pm's commenced
Oh! Now follow his drooping head and see where it goes
Oh! Because every second, the pull of gravity grows
Oh! If we follow Wangji's tip-over and see where it leads
The body concedes, time for midnight misdeeds, the nap proceeds!

It must sure suck, it must sure suck
Follow the nap noises and see where they stem
It must sure suck, it must sure suck
We're making Jiang Wanyin our pillow again
We won't hold back, won't rise above
Chief cultivator got this, with love

Still, it must sure suck, it must sure suck
To not have Wei Ying on your side )

Edited 2021-06-03 18:31 (UTC)

[ A dour war hero and a sect leader are bound to a tree
Diametrically opposed, foes
One falls asleep on his companion, opening wounds that were
Previously closed
Bros

The sect leader grouses about the war hero openly on the network,
Exposing every flaw in an endless font,
Airing out twenty some years of frustrations and bad blood,
In his scathingly whispered taunts.

No one else is tied to
This cursed-ass tree in the woods
This cursed-ass tree in the woods
This cursed-ass tree in the woods
No one else is tied to
This cursed-ass tree in the woods (This cursed-ass tree in the woods)
This cursed-ass tree in the woods
This cursed-ass tree in the woods (This cursed-ass tree in the woods)
No one really knows how Jiang Cheng gets played (Jiang Cheng gets played)
Wangji throwing shade
Dismembering without blades
We just assume that it happens (Assume that it happens)
But no one else is tied to
This cursed-ass tree in the woods (This cursed-ass tree in the woods)

Jiang Cheng claims—

Lan Wangji was in Wei Wuxian's bedchambers
In distress and disarray.

Jiang Cheng claims—

Lan Wangji said—
Wei Ying, you're my soulmate!

And basically begged to be allowed to stay

Jiang Cheng claims—

Wei Wuxian didn't hesitate,
Always more than ready to be led astray

Jiang Cheng claims—

Wei Wuxian swore himself to me,
Swore himself to Jiang Sect, to Yunmeng, to Yanli.

But!

No one else is tied to—

This cursed-ass tree in the woods
This cursed-ass tree in the woods
This cursed-ass tree in the woods

No one else is tied to—

This cursed-ass tree in the woods
This cursed-ass tree in the woods
This cursed-ass tree in the woods

No one really knows what kind
Of insults get thrown (Insults get thrown)
The barbs that get traded by (These men who are grown)
These men who are grown
We just assume that it's tried (Assume that it's tried)
But no one else is tied to (This cursed-ass tree in the woods)
This cursed-ass tree in the woods ]

Where are you two?!

... Did you just call me brother?

[ In the voice of a Little Brother who is Definitely Lying: ]

—No?? Why would I say that?! [ ~~I said BOTHER because you're always BOTHERing me~~ ]

We're out investigating, didn't your dear companion tell you?

He tends to not mention his plans for things like this ( ... for most anything ) but wait, wait, you did call me brother! You still think of me as a brother?!

( in the voice of an elder sibling caught by surprise and slightly unsure if they're hearing things or not, rather than patented teasing.

... that's phase two! )

un: bashful bard of the emboldened flute

[handmaiden of unsheathed swords] voice posted:

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

un: silhouette among silk spreads

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

audio: sweet sparrow under honeyed fingers

no subject

no subject

no subject

un: dappled pearl of the parted seas [voice]

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

un: deft hand of little deaths [Voice]

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

un: maiden voyager of a hundred peaks; voice

no subject

no subject

no subject

"action"

NOW I can go back to work

i'm going to bed

too much beauty for unworthy eyes to behold

un: xianxian of yunmeng jiang 1/2

2/2

no subject

no subject