dragon bachelor... round ii

[sansdoute]

( Sometimes, your transmitter conveys gloom, doom and heartbreak. And sometimes, it’s completely hijacked by a now familiar, thematically robed mademoiselle, here to (re)introduce portraits and footage of various dragons as they’re named. )

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Dragon Bachelor — the show that’s all about fire, blood and raising the stakes of romance to scale.

You all felt candidate Mariadora’s charms would never burn out in round I: congratulations, voters! If you chose Mariadora, check your accounts to find your complimentary 10,000 chip has now paid tenfold.

Everyone else? You can still shoot your shot. Put down a meagre 10,000 chip and you could also win, if our prized bachelor Darius falls hoof over hide for your pick this round. With Mariadora as a clear favourite, let’s raise the stakes a little: take up

the virgin sacrifice option to offer yourselves or other worthy partners to catch Darius’ smouldering eye — and you’ll get double the prize! Don’t be a drag-on, vote tonight on...

DRAGON BACHELOR

DARIUS

Our steaming, gleaming, real gamer Dragon Bachelor.. He starts every fight he doesn’t finish. But he ‘doesn’t like drama.’ He’s been trying to ‘find himself’ in every dragonette’s nest for the past three years. He’s, like, a sensitive soul. So you should do his scale-cleaning. He’s yearning for the good old days, when dragons were dragons, most knights croaked before the age of thirty, and no one taxed hoarded gold. He's super serious about marriage. You know. As a concept.

He’s looking for a horny mate with wing curves in all the right places. He’s one dragon worth going back in the kitchen to impale a stolen sheep sandwich for.

MARIADORA

Round I winner and everyone’s favourite: she’s an arson-load of fun, a real wild child, a hatchling slaughter prodigy. She does her claws every week — in the guts of her enemies. She’s not like the other dragon girls, because she’s charcoaled every princess this side of the citadel. She wants Darius to live his truth and waddle down the war path to his best, most authentic homicidal self. VOTE FOR MARIADORA.

THRAENEA

Beautiful. Beautiful. Beautiful. She has a messy past the king’s guard… definitely heard about. She’s crawled out of more taverns than there have been built. All her girlfriends say, ‘Oh my God, why would you give her your coin card, oh my God.’ She’s cut off from blind drink, but it’s her cheat night. She won’t lift a claw to dig the gold all her draco-daddies should give her on a platter. All your friends seem to know her. From that time. That one time. You know. With the itching. VOTE FOR THRAENEA.

LAELLAC

The good dragon girl. Kind, sensitive. A little (lot) homely. But it’s what’s inside the beastly hide that matters. She’s what your mother would have been like, five hundred years ago — if she had a blood scent candle obsession and no soul. She knows she’s not entitled to a hoard and hatchlings, but, like. It's all she's thought of since that fateful day you met in kindergarten, Darius. Do you remember her? She remembers you. Night after night, you can’t stop dreaming about a nest with her. It’s as if she’s always there, with you. Watching. Waiting. By the window. (Darius? Char of her life? Why don't you pick up your pendant anymore?). VOTE FOR LAELLAC.

CARMILLA

Stunning. Accomplished. Mature. Sophisticated. The kind of adult dragon that makes you think, ‘I can wake up at 5am each morning, drink the blood of my enemies and roar until I manifest my dreams.’ She’s got a PhD in curing plagues and makes a healthy dinner each night. She’s an ally of captured princesses. She... doesn’t really belong on this show. But her agent thought, ‘She needs a stress relief in between earning peace prizes.' Don't bother voting for Carmilla. We've already booked her for 'So You Think You Can Dragon Dance.'

( ooc: Rules of engagement, same as before:

— every character can bet 10,000, free of charge. The house covers the first token.
— Vote here on your dragon lady of choice — and try to persuade your companions to vote with you by pitching the virtues of the match. Or of making some sweet coin.

— Alternatively, suggest a character as a 'virgin sacrifice' (virginity optional) to appease mighty Darius, and vote on them. You can also put your character’s name down and assume a NPC did it — you still have to supply the hilarious description.

— This is open to everyone, whether assigned to Eidris or Minaras. It has 0% plot bearing. Earn your coin.

— You can treat this as a regular network post and threadjack to your hearts' content. )

Comments

VOTE NOW, VOTE FOREVER

[sansdoute]

( One vote per character: you can bet either 10,000 that the house covers, or specify a bigger sum that you have to pay, if you lose. )

MARIADORA

[sansdoute]

( Let's get this party war on the road. )

THRAENEA

[sansdoute]

( Your nest mother warned you about dragons like her. )

LAELLAC

[sansdoute]

( We think she might be dangerous. )

CARMILLA

[sansdoute]

( Like, you wish. )

[weifinder]

Oh, he'll never deserve her, but I enjoy the thought of her stepping all over him and leaving when she's done.

( HE IS NOT A BETTING MAN so nice this isn't his money anyway, slams it down )

VIRGIN SACRIFICE

[sansdoute]

( Have your character pitch another character or dragon here as a worthy contender for gracious Darius' heart. Alternatively, assume a well-meaning but inevitably deluded NPC did it. Make the description hilarious and get people to vote on this after. )

LAN WANGJI & WEI WUXIAN

[traaaaaash]

They're pretty and they come in a set. The more the merrier, am I right?

1/2

[downswing]

( W h y ...................does this keep happening to him. )








( Does he look like a dragon enthusiast — )

[downswing]

Respectfully decline.





Once more.

[incantates]

One to file the dragon's nails, and the other to peel off its molting scales. How can anyone possibly lose with this pair?

[makemeasong]

they do have perfect hair and skin.

KIM WEXLER.

[strewth]

[This submission is left, of course, anonymously.]

KIMBERLEY WEXLER is a beauty for the poets, with hair like shimmering SUNLIGHT & morals likened to LIVING STEEL. Yet! In her veins, RED BLOOD FLOWS like any of us! She longs for one who would match her WIT & CLEVERNESS. Who will tame her LONELY HEART?

CAN IT BE DONE?

[saintclaire]

[What the fuck...

She has never typed this forcefully in her life.]

Obviously, as I am married.

Pass on the [god does she really have to type this] dragon dating.

[slippin]

[ Creepy 🫤

Maybe Yelena's paranoia about the droid monitoring their every move wasn't paranoia. Might be time to offload it. ]

Daenerys Targaryen - Write In

[thebrideoffire]

[northerndragon]

No.

EDA CLAWTHORNE

[traaaaaash]

Hot, single and ready to mingle, she is a lady of many talents who knows a thing or two about creature comforts, if you know what I mean. ;)

Feared and revered as the infamous Owl Lady in her homeland, she's sure to capture a dragon's attention!

[paperbutterflies]

[ ... both his dads? How about no? Please? ]

Ah... In lieu of ... Hanguang-jun and Senior Wei, perhaps I would be a more sensible choice? I am younger and less bound by previous commitments.

And I can do my best to help him with finding himself.

[ That stopped being an uncertain question about partway through the sentence, but if he wishes to be chosen and protect his dads, he has to - make that offer attractive? Possibly? ]

[traaaaaash]

[ ... well, that's. Interesting. ]

Kid, aren't you a little young to be playing with the grownups?

1/2

[downswing]

Courtship declined.

Stars mismatched. Augurs unrighteous. Prospects wanting.

JOHN CONSTANTINE

[kahl_175]

[Left anonymously, but Kahl absolutely knows it's gonna be obvious.]

Try John. Magical guy. Knows good jokes. Lots of words too, more than I know. He could tell it better than me. Give him a chance.

ZHOU ZISHU

[eternallywandering]

I'm not a virgin, but I'm a better choice than the happy couple or just about anyone else. Death stopped scaring me ages ago.

un: slothbaby

[cosplayqueen]

so are we still trying to make money or are we just trying to mess with each other now? i've kind of lost the plot here.

un: Xunxian

[topoiran]

The two are not exactly mutually exclusive. And records show that we will need rather a lot of money soon enough, one way or another. It is something of a pattern.