[Video; UN: heavenly four seasons]

[eternallywandering]

I never knew being sick would work in my favor. [Guess who is rooming in a private cabin with the ladies?] I sleep with one eye open in case the crew decides to throw me overboard.

[He is trying so very hard to find the humor in...everything. He is also drinking any and all alcohol he can find. Shhh. It's fine.]

Daozhang Xingchen, if you can see this, please respond. Actually...

Anyone who stood in the way of the volcano, I want to talk with you.

Cheers. [He lifts a bottle.]

Comments

voice

[thesuspense]

Him knowing and me believing it are two very different things.

So, why can't I come be with you two?

voice

[eternallywandering]

I suppose you can if he agrees. I have nothing to hide.

I am Zhou Zishu, by the way.

voice

[thesuspense]

Don't only boring men have nothing to hide?

Anyway, I'm Xue Yang and I'll see you on deck.

voice

[eternallywandering]

Being boring would be a compliment.

Alright. [He is thinner than he was - and paler - so... Easy to spot, really. A total non-threat and absolutely not the leader of a deadly sect that killed countless people.]

action

[thesuspense]

[He doesn't bother responding any more, he just gets on deck to keep an eye out for Xingchen, and to size up this man for a variety of reasons. Many of them tied to how he somehow went for 'jealous' as an accusation, it is making him suspicious.

Either way, he doesn't appear worried or much of anything when he does spot Zhou Zishu, just looking him up and down.]

What's worse than boredom?

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[eternallywandering]

[Is it now? Zishu likes to distract himself; it's the only way he stays sane these days. Since Xingchen hasn't mentioned this other man, he doesn't mind poking around a bit just to make sure the Daozhang isn't being mistreated.

He gives a thin smile at the question. Oh yes, this one is trouble, isn't he.]

Years and years of loneliness. I would rather endure torture.

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[thesuspense]

Ah, sure. Loneliness is painful.

[He can attest to that, but still.]

Boredom makes loneliness worse, wouldn't you say? It's torture then.

[Leaning back, he looks relaxed enough, even if he is aware where all his knives are hidden, aware of how far away Zishu is standing, just in case.]

action

[eternallywandering]

If boredom is torture, I deserve several lifetimes of it. [But that wouldn't be good enough to make up for the blood on his hands.]

I lost someone recently. Xingchen helped me to stand again. He is a sweet man and he doesn't deserve to be trapped here.

[thesuspense]

No world cares as much about deserving as you seem to. If you really want people to get what they deserve, you have to take it and give it.

[Turning his head to face him, he smiles, a glint of something in his eyes. Maybe mischief, maybe madness.]

I could help with the torture.

[With a laugh he shakes his head, gesturing dismissively.]

My daozhang being here... It's better than nothing, is it not?

[eternallywandering]

I am not a judge and jury. However if I can bring justice to some, those are special circumstances and I do not see myself as some hero.

[Like when he ripped out the nails and sought justice - and revenge - for Kexing.]

Mm why am I not surprised? [He crosses his arms over his chest.]

Your daozhang? I thought you must be fond of him. Do you treat him well?

[thesuspense]

Ah, what a question. Depends on time and interpretation.

Right now, yes.

[It being complicated would be an understatement, but he isn't really lying about anything.]

There is no way for us without pain, but isn't that just life?

[eternallywandering]

[His brows raise and he purses his lips, unamused.]

We can be better than Fate to each other. In fact, we should strive for better especially when it comes to Xiao Xingchen.

[He tuts and shakes his head.]

You sound like a menace.

[thesuspense]

That I am.

[And he clearly feels no shame about that or, indeed, anything else, just grinning and lifting his shoulders in a slight shrug.]

No one cares more about the daozhang than I do. Xiao-sanren. Xing-ge. And maybe you are right and I do strive for better these days.

[eternallywandering]

[Zishu focuses on him, a bit surprised and yet... He likes to believe most people can be redeemed. He won't jump to any conclusions about Xue Yang until he has proof.]

I'm glad to hear that. If you do care about him that much then you should know your worth to him. You should also know you can't be replaced.

[thesuspense]

Why would I think I could be replaced? There's no one like me. No one like me for him, either.

[Seems like overkill too, as he can barely handle one.]

Are you intent on seducing him, with how you talk? Good luck with that. You'll need patience.

[eternallywandering]

You're right. Each person is unique.

[If he had two Kexings? Heaven help him and everyone else.]

Seducing him? [Snorting, he shakes his head.] Xue Yang, I'm dying. I can put it off for a little while, but I'm not about to seduce anybody.

[thesuspense]

So? The dying it your most attractive quality.

[He pauses as he considers that, then shrugs.]

The daozhang probably wouldn't think so, you're right. Anyway, he's a lot of effort.

[He yawns, as if the effort has worn him out, then looks Zishu over.]

Do you like the pain?

[eternallywandering]

Is it? [He doesn't sound or look convinced.] For you to reach, you mean? I think he would open up to someone genuinely kind.

[Looking out over the water, he makes an amused sound.]

The physical pain is easier to bear. I would take more of it if it meant everyone I lost could come back.