[Audio]

[scrapgege]

I know not many people might be familiar with this, but... I need help to organize a ghost wedding.

[There are enough cultivators here that Xie Lian is pretty sure at least some of them will know what he is talking about.]

I have never had to do this, so I'm not quite sure exactly what rituals are involved. And it has to be a double wedding too, and I need to find one family with an son who died unwed and who would not mind this... I can ask around the village.

.... Do you think this might cost a lot of money to organize? Because that could be a problem ...

[He still has no money, and Yun Yifeng hasn't started his cult yet, so...]

Comments

[thesuspense]

I'd think it's a little difficult to make a ghost fall in love with a ghost they've never met. There isn't that much of them left, as far as attachment goes. Or anything.

[scrapgege]

And again, no one said anything about falling in love. That's never been necessary for a wedding.

[thesuspense]

Sure, but what of the usual reasons can convince a ghost?

[scrapgege]

It's not the ghost you need to convince. It's their family.

[thesuspense]

Then I can see where money comes in.

I guess you could threaten them into compliance.

[scrapgege]

... No. There's no need to resort to that. And the money is for the wedding offerings.

[thesuspense]

No one here has much of anything and everyone in this wedding is dead. You'd be best off offering blood.

[scrapgege]

Listen, this is my problem and I will solve it my way. I am not making the situation worse with blood, that would help no one.

[thesuspense]

How well do you know the dead?

[scrapgege]

My husband is a ghost, so pretty well, I would say.

[thesuspense]

Huh.

[A pause. It's filled with something.]

That explains how pent up you are.

[scrapgege]

.... I don't understand.

[thesuspense]

Huh.

I'm crude, don't you recall?

[scrapgege]

Uhm, yes, I do remember, but I still don't get it?

[thesuspense]

Does he fuck?

[scrapgege]

... Well you don't have to say it like that, but yes.

[thesuspense]

You didn't get it any other way. I've been trying.

Interesting though, most ghosts can't. Is he here?

[He wants to meet the ghost who fuuuuuuuuuuuuuucks.]

[scrapgege]

No, he's not. It's probably for the best with the way this place is about dead people.

[thesuspense]

Marrying them off randomly?

[scrapgege]

[Sigh.]

It's not random. That's the whole point, it won't work if it's random.