un: sect leader jiang | dated shortly after the huntress left, whenever that was

[consignation]

I understand we have problems right now.

I don't care.

If you can't handle things and need my help specifically, I'll see what I can do about it if you aren't already dead later.

More importantly, which of you are willing and able to cook? As in right now, immediately.

The gentleman known as Xie Lian NEED NOT APPLY.

Comments

un : deft hand of little deaths (voice)

[scrapgege]

I promised I wouldn't cook for anyone else but myself. There's really no need to worry.

[consignation]

And what have you been eating lately? Your own cooking? Appalling. Come here at once.

[scrapgege]

It's fine, it's fine! I can eat it with no trouble, after all, so it doesn't matter, does it?

[consignation]

No. Knowing you just live like this is going to keep me up at night because I'm not a monster, so come here.

un : dappled peals of the parted seas (voice)

[beitangmoran]

..... So what exactly are you offering, then?

[consignation]

An audience with my dog? Why does it matter to you? We know you can't cook.

[beitangmoran]

Someone is a little nippy today, I see.

[consignation]

As many have pointed out to me repeatedly, we're all under stress lately. Can your ... Su Xunxian cook?

un: absterge

[downswing]

( May the heavens split and swallow him. )


Jiang Wanyin.

[consignation]

[ You're starving his brother with your Gusu Lan 'cuisine'. He doesn't want to hear it from you. ]

Lan Wangji.

[downswing]

We face tragedy. Carnage. Disaster.

un: qishan

[silverneedles]

Why the sudden need for a cook?

[consignation]

Lady Wen!

[ INSERT EXTREMELY LONG PAUSE OF MENTAL SPLUTTERING. ]

There are too many unfit cooks among us. A system is needed to prevent waste of already scarce resources.

[silverneedles]

Have you had success in finding someone who can cook?

xianxian of yunmeng jiang

[weifinder]

( this is silly, they're likely in the same space, but wei wuxian is exhausted, the huntress's call has finally faded, and he's far enough from where anurr sits plump in his snowy, killing domain that the undead lord's call isn't snaking through his mind

so instead, he uses this neat function, the thinky one, so he doesn't have to talk: )

You know what I miss more than anything right now?

( they're talking of food. jiang cheng knows, and likely has missed it harder, for longer, and always will. )

[consignation]

[ Jiang Cheng reads the message, starts to write back, stops, starts to write back again, and then finally paces over to where Wei Wuxian is, sitting down with exaggerated exhaustion and effort on his own part.

He passes a hand over his brother's hair, sighing heavily. ]

...everything? [ he asks softly, voice edging on hoarse. There's so much to miss.

But then he cracks a smile, poking a finger less than gently into Wei Wuxian's shoulder. ]

If you called me over here to say 'Lan Zhan', I'm going to beat you into next week with Zidian.

[weifinder]

( Surprised at the touch, eyes flexing wider as a startled cat's might, back arched, fur on end, Wei Wuxian settles again in the aftermath of his brother's care. Leans toward him, because everything is a lament he knows, and one he's laid to rest, pays homage to, remembers but cannot be bound down by, lest he never breathe again.

He startles again, provoked gladly into a creaking laugh, dry and broken like the line of skin across his lips. Such absurdities, and it's the teasing, a strangely fitted familiarity, that leaves him aching. The press of a finger to his shoulder is as fleeting as the pressure itself, and he cobbles together words to follow the laughter. Finds a few, at least, that come after a false start, his voice used up and surrendered after the intensity of days, of battles fought within himself, and the gentle, dusty mockery of endless empty bottles of wine around him, nothing to drown in, no sanctuary away from his own thoughts. )

Can't eat him, ( he says, where Lan Zhan is on his tongue to follow Jiang Cheng's utterance, scandalous in the sort of way that's left Wei Wuxian smiling, crooked and genuine, if tentative. ) No. Soup.

( You know. Even if Jiang Cheng's version had been lacking, had been a stomach's upset in pot form, it had still been... something. )

... Second tries.

( Something more than it needed to be, or could have been, depending. )

un: daozhang | audio

[binghua]

I am able to cook satisfactorily. I feel I must warn that my food does turn out rather bland, however.

[consignation]

[ HE FORGOT ABOUT THE HOT BLIND MAN OH NO. ]

Ah, Xiao-daozhang, I'm sorry about the, ah, the text. I'm also afraid blandness is the problem with the ... current chef. Perhaps whoever I find who is able to cook can give us lessons, if you wanted?

[binghua]

[Don't flirt with your weird timey wimey martial uncle by adoption or whatever, pal.]

Do not fret. It seems many people are most comfortable with that means of communication.

[As for his own shortcomings being a common problem, Xingchen isn't sure he's much able to improve. Then again, he managed to relearn cooking to begin with after losing his eyes, so it can't be impossible. It's just probably unlikely.]

Ah, only if it wouldn't be too much to ask. Not everyone is so patient.

un: vast & furious | text.

[valeas]

( Ah. The other chimney interloper. A stroke of luck, really, that Emilia finds herself in need of ingredients. )

I've worked a kitchen all my life. What is the emergency?

( This is an emergency, yes? )

[consignation]

It's not an emergency, it's an ongoing oversight.

Unseasoned millet and clear broth is the current standard of provisions. Something has to be done about that.

[valeas]

( Well. She can hardly argue with him that unseasoned food is not ideal, greater priorities aside. )

I can tell you feel very passionately about this matter.
You yourself do not cook?

[Text; UN: Lianfang-Zun]

[malicing]

I have some experience cooking. Shall I meet you in the kitchens?

[consignation]

Ah, Jin Guangyao! I still have to procure ingredients, but I would be glad to have your assistance! You are fond of Yunmeng cuisine as well, if I recall...?