un : deft hand of little deaths (voice)

[scrapgege]

So, I talked to An- to Haltham.

[Is it a good idea to use Anurr's name on the network? Probably not, so let's stick to the other one. Most people know who this refers to anyway.]

Now, I'm not saying we should do what he asked because well, these people are still people, and they were enslaved a long time, and it feels only fair that they should be able to choose what they want to do with themselves.

But he says he might be able to help with their pain.

Except he also said that he doesn't know yet how.

.... That's not very helpful, is it? Sorry.

Comments

[scrapgege]

[Oh... right. They shouldn't be talking about this openly, right? Although a lot of what happened is already being gossiped about, but still...

Lighter topics it could be, but Xie Lian can't help himself.]

Do you also think I'm too naive, Wei-gongzi, to prefer to judge a man by his action and not by whether or not death refused to stick to him?

[weifinder]

... No.

( he can't say that, can't believe it. it's what he prefers to do, and he, he's a man who fits that bill, isn't he? )

I think that when we cease to make decisions based on our observations and facts uncovered, we stop thinking, and start letting ourselves be lead to conclusions by those who have not ceased thinking like the rest have.

[scrapgege]

People took offense because they think I'm defending his actions. I'm not. But he offered something. I don't know if it's right or not, and honestly, I don't think it's right to just give these people to him.

But it's not because he's technically a dead person that it's wrong. I just figured it didn't hurt to ask him what he had in mind. It turns out it's not that helpful, though.

[But well, it's not the first time a crowd has misunderstood him, and it probably won't be the last.]

If it turns out giving them their last rites and laying them to rest if the best for them, I'm not going to go against it.

[weifinder]

Hah, ah. Once I wouldn't think asking hurt. Once it's what I thought everyone would do, given the chance.

( He shrugs, but that's not... anything to answer these days. )

Mm, soon. I don't imagine you'll take any more pleasure out of the learning than I have.

( Because it's not long before they're at the address he asks for, and he takes them on narrow alleyway tours to get to the outwardly decrepit house with its twelve grandfatherly grumpy ghosts and three witches and its wards and arrays and the dampening effect of its quiet and looming sense of disquiet. He navigates them inside, sweeping gestures, and smiles grimly. )

Shoes at the door, please. Our resident ghosts are displeased by tracked dirt and mud.

( His boots are left there, and socked feet continue forward on the surprisingly clean floors, kept that way between his efforts, Lily's efforts, and those few others who've come by. A gesture to a door with extra seals on it, in the coolest part of the house, next to the canals. )

They're restive for them, and you don't smell of smoke. Please don't disturb the talismans on them, they're helping soothe the burns as much as one can, when it's not entirely a physical thing.

[scrapgege]

[Xie Lian obediently leaves his shoes at the door. He is ... well, a little grimy, but that happens when you spend so much times in the dark parts of town, and he's sort of used to grime.

And he nods his understanding about the talismans. Whatever helps these people is a good thing.

But of course once he sees them he understands better what he was told. There's a shiver down his own spine. Once, he feels, he almost ended up in that state, the only difference being that he was not able to die, instead of dying and being brought back. Once he has known suffering so bad that it almost turned him into the very thing that put him in that state.

Once, he only had revenge on the mind, because he'd been so badly hurt lashing out felt like the only way. His heart can swell with compassion at that, even though it seems obvious none of these people can recover the way he did.]

Hi. Can you understand me?

[weifinder]

( There is understanding, at least, in the dimness of eyes darkened by pain that burns and burns even with the talismans in place that help soothe. Names, granted through pained, repeated asking, but the emotion, the wants kept tampered down, are simplistic. Escape from the pain, and revenge, for what caused the pain. A world defined by that pain, and unable to escape it. )

[scrapgege]

[There really isn't much to be done, and it is heartbreaking, in many ways.

Xie Lian's kindness doesn't come from naivete, no matter what others think. It was tempered in flamed and blood. And sometimes, the greatest kindness you can do to someone is to help them finish what is needed.]

We'll find a way to stop the pain. Promise.

[It will, most probably, mean laying them to rest, but at least they have tried. This man here has tried to soothe their pain to the best of his abilities, and others have looked for solutions. Even Xie Lian, however useless that solution ended up being.

He turns to Wei Wuxian.]

Thank you for what you did for them. There's not much else to be done. You were right, I don't think they can understand what going to Anurr entails, exactly.

[weifinder]

( He hums, quiet. )

Nor does he, with them. Whatever cold he brings, whatever he does to the spirits that inhabit the bodies of those under his control... it won't solve this.

( A hand, pressed over one witch's head, the burnt remnants of scalp, the tufts of remaining hair. )

I'm sorry we couldn't do more.

( But death, in a final resting, in sundering spirit from flesh and sending it on, doing what he can to separate it from the pain... that is the only thing he can see here that is kindness. That is not continuing to make use of their suffering, their death, their capabilities, with no end in sight, only greed, only pain, only the endlessness of that haunting. )

[scrapgege]

This is already a lot.

[Xie Lian sighs and stands up.]

Is there anything I can do to help?

[weifinder]

( Wei Wuxian shakes his head, expression quiet. )

Not now. Just think to their better reincarnation in their next life, if such a thing is part of this world's workings.

[scrapgege]

It's not a wish I can grant myself, but I'll still pray for it.

[If that's the only thing he can do.]