video | un: absterge

[downswing]

( Pictured: young master Lan, blood-drenched and saddled by five exceptionally rotund and angry chickens in a gondola that drifts merrily along one of the canals.

At his feet: a swarm of coins, a corset dress, and... pastries. Beside him, fettered and muffled, is a seemingly rabid undead, who sometimes remembers to kick at the rope-bound oar convulsively and row them onwards in the dusky horizon.

It appears master Lan has forgotten the art of blinking. Possibly, until he croaks out sound, that of speech: )

The witches. ( A pause, spanning a lifetime. He seems... to drift asleep? No. No, he's startling himself awake again: ) Answered. ( What did they say, Wangji, don't fall aslee — ) ...inquiry.

( ooc: just after the the warehouse incident, where pocket Lan Zhan Wangji's box was submerged in alcohol during transport. He has 'captured' one of the warehouse dead and... useless loot. Content warning: drunk Lan Wangji. )

Comments

[reparo]

Yes, his username on these devices is Sizhui.

[downswing]

Son. My son.

[reparo]

Your son! I never would have thought you had a son.

[downswing]

Grew from a turnip. ( Pause. ) Well-watered.

[reparo]

...you don't mean that literally, right?

[weifinder]

He was well planted and well watered as a youth!

( Wei Wuxian smiles. )

But if you mean in direct literalisms, no, our Sizhui was the child of a man and a woman and that is, in the end, a beginning, but not a full telling of any life.

[reparo]

[et TU??? Wait a minute - our Sizhui? Oh.


Ooooohhhh.]

Oh I see, well... For a while when I was young I believed all babies sprouted from cabbages, so.

[weifinder]

Oh, I told him children were like turnips and radishes when he was a child, you just had to plant more and water them well until they were ready for harvesting! Amusing to know that's common across at least two worlds, though I have to ask, why cabbage?

[reparo]

Sincerely, I have no idea? But the other option is that they get carried in by storks and dropped, fully formed, in their parents' lap.

[weifinder]

Ah. Storks, is it? We have cranes that guide people to the afterlife in some tellings, but not so much dropping children into parent's laps.

( A pause. )

I'll have to convince Lan Zhan about the stork.

[downswing]

( Opens mouth.






Closes mouth. )

No. ( A correction: ) Left Wei Ying's belly fully formed.

[weifinder]

( Completely deadpan: )

Yes, blood of my blood, without a doubt.

[downswing]

Mmmm. Ten fingers. Ten toes. ( Nodding along here. ) Wei Ying makes good infants.

[weifinder]

( He coughs into his hand to disguise a pained sort of half-laugh: )

I'm, ah, I'm glad Lan Zhan approves of my. Fecundity.

[downswing]

Make them all children. Finest children.

[weifinder]

Hahaha, ah, I think I'll focus on you know, taking care of those of us around, but noted. I'm fairly sure the ones asking for my so-called blessings have been working hard on making their own children.

[downswing]

( No, hear him: )

Children gentle. Spirits. Gentle spirits. Children. Hear - hear me. ( He is so wise. ) Needs... needs a... to smile. Mistress Wen. A child.

[weifinder]

... You think we should find Wen Qing a child to gentle?

[reparo]

Did you just use sarcasm?

[downswing]

( Wait. What. )

No.

[reparo]

Because that sounded like sarcasm.

[downswing]

( The. Most. Dead. Pan. )

Soul... my. Soulmate birthed — my son. Whole. In a turnip, was a... was a turnip field. Came out. Small. ( No, he's wrinkling his nose. ) Adequate. Came. Had ten toes, ten fingers. Chubby... on the face. Round.

( Cheeks. )

[reparo]

...as babies do.

[downswing]

( Affronted: ) Better.

[reparo]

[Wow, that's fucking adorable.]

Of course, wouldn't want to imply he was not the best baby.