video | un: absterge

[downswing]

( Pictured: young master Lan, blood-drenched and saddled by five exceptionally rotund and angry chickens in a gondola that drifts merrily along one of the canals.

At his feet: a swarm of coins, a corset dress, and... pastries. Beside him, fettered and muffled, is a seemingly rabid undead, who sometimes remembers to kick at the rope-bound oar convulsively and row them onwards in the dusky horizon.

It appears master Lan has forgotten the art of blinking. Possibly, until he croaks out sound, that of speech: )

The witches. ( A pause, spanning a lifetime. He seems... to drift asleep? No. No, he's startling himself awake again: ) Answered. ( What did they say, Wangji, don't fall aslee — ) ...inquiry.

( ooc: just after the the warehouse incident, where pocket Lan Zhan Wangji's box was submerged in alcohol during transport. He has 'captured' one of the warehouse dead and... useless loot. Content warning: drunk Lan Wangji. )

Comments

un: azure stream

[jeoha]

[ There is a long, long pause. ]

Master Lan.

I--

Apologize for losing you in the fray, however, ah--

Where are you?

[ aka: wtf are you doing ]

keep enjoying this video stream

[downswing]

( The boat...



...



...keeps drifting.

The dead. Keep. Mumbling.

Lan Wangji. Keeps. Not blinking. )

On... water.

i will hold it in my heart for all time

[jeoha]

... Yes, I can see that.

[ He is worried but it is hard not to be amused at the same time - if it wasn't his fault that Lan Wangji was like this. ]

Can you - ah - use your crystal to show me your surroundings?

[ Maybe if he spotted a building or a bridge he recognized-- ]

UN: peerless cucumber

[softheartedshizun]

You look terrible.

video, you need to keep BEHOLDING this

[downswing]

( He... pats himself, his own cheeks.

He seems, after a point, intent to even pat the undead's cheeks. It recoils from him. Ah. )

The... ( Look. Look, he is patting his forehead ribbon now. ) Is straight.

It is a wonderful spectical.

[softheartedshizun]

That is the thing you're most worried about?

Get up! Wake up! You're throwing away your dignity. What happened?

un: moonage daydream (audio)

[lancifolium]

What was their answer?

[ A beat. ]

And where did you get so many chickens from? Are you alright?

video for #blessings

[downswing]

( It is at this point in time that the chickens begin to channel the city' confusion and, in full defiance of the hour, one.

By.

One.

They roost.

If the undead or Lan Wangji are surprised, they seem adept at not showing it. )

...fat?

[lancifolium]

Lan Wangji, are you alright? Are you bleeding?

[ Because she's not sure if she ought to laugh or take to the streets to try and help him, and some clarification would be nice. ]

video | un: chenqing

[weifinder]

( oh dear heavens above and whatever hells below, lan zhan )

Lan Zhan? Ah, what has... you look like it's been an exciting night. ( to say the least. when did he get his hands on drink? whose blood is that? where did he find chickens that fat? is anyone actually steering that gondola?

the undead fettered there is at this point almost the least worrying part. )

Do you think you can find me?

( no, please, let him find you, this mess that has him already feeling a touch helpless, because lan zhan's ability to fight in this state is the one thing he's absolutely certain of, but. that's an undead. that's a lot of blood. those are five chickens with vengeance in beak. )

... Or I, you. Those are very upset chickens, Lan Zhan, and the, ah. The living dead bound with you is not subtle. Are you looking to set them away?

[downswing]

( The chi -

His chickens.

Behold. His wealth of feathers, trapped in his hands, is he weighing each grumpy chicken one by one in front of the device, until he settles on a proud, red thing with a sage nod: )

Fat?

( This bird is bursting at the seams. )

[weifinder]

( there's a faint sense of coming full circle on something that still... fails to make much sense. maybe this time it's a hen. lan zhan isn't offering to feed him the chicken, so it must be eggs. please, these aren't fat cocks again, lan zhan, please?

he smiles, a touch awkward, and laughs with that lingering in his tone. this is important. strikingly important to lan zhan, he remembers, so: )

Yes, very fat, a very fat chicken. Where are you taking the fat chicken?

un: sizhui

[paperbutterflies]

... Hanguang-jun. Are you ... in need of anything?

[ He is rather sure that even drunk, not much can hurt his dad. But. ]

video

[downswing]

( Have you ever seen a dog who's heard his name called out, but cannot quite tell the direction? 'lo, 'tis Hanguang-Jun, perking his ears and turning each way, for why should the source of sound be the same one that's been speaking at him for an hour —

Until finally he focuses on the device again, and, perhaps he does not smile, but — )

Sizhui.

( He's so happy. )

video

[paperbutterflies]

[ ... o h.

Sizhui smiles back, soft. And yes, the disorientation doesn't surprise him, he has seen Jingyi drunk. ]

I am here, Hanguang-jun. Do you want me to try to find you?

video;

[remugient]

[She stares, wide-eyed, a little horrified]

Are you, uh... [She's seen many a drunken tomfoolery, so that's not really surprising, but... the chickens...]

Where did you get those? They look-- Really angry. [She's double checking her chickens just in case.]

video

[downswing]

( The chickens, as if sensing their saviour, start a choreographed roosting that could put a choir to trueborn shame.

Between them, Lan Wangji nods solemnly. )

Excess yang.

[remugient]

Excess-- Excess wang? [Guess who entirely misheard that]

Um. What?

un: dappled pearl of the parted sea [voice]

[beitangmoran]

Master Lan, I am glad that you seem to have obtained some success since last time we spoke.

... And apparently a boon of sorts. Do you know where you are?

[downswing]

( He knows this question, he has already answered, allow him to enlighten: )

On water.

[beitangmoran]

... Yes, I can see that. Is someone coming to fetch you? I assume Master Wei is probably trying to find you right now.

un: man's greatest treasure

[reparo]

[Pardon her language, papa, but:]

...what the bloody hell?

un: sizhui

[paperbutterflies]

Ah... alcohol is forbidden in the Cloud Recesses - where Hanguang-jun and I live - and when people of our sect drink, it only takes a very small amount to get drunk, and the effects are a little like that.

[ A very, very small amount. Like 'you can accidentally drink this much before you realize it's alcohol and not water' small amount.

Trying to find out what exactly happened from Hanguang-jun himself might not be very easy right now, so Sizhui takes on his role of his father's voice. More or less. ]

(gasp) a bebe

[reparo]

[There is. A pause.]

I meant more - why the boat, the undead and the chicken?

[downswing]

( Hello, small, beautiful child. Let him look at you.

Intensely.

For the better part of three minutes, before he talks: )


Mind tongue.