audio | un: xianxian of yunmeng jiang

[weifinder]

Bear!? Bear! There was a bear in the bath!

( So comes this startled and startling shout, as elsewhere in camp, Wei Wuxian is (unfortunately) streaking past in damp, confused glory, a bear of arctic composure lumbering after him, soap bar still in mouth. Come back! He was just handing the soap over, he wanted to help! )

Comments

[consignation]

You are literally screaming right now.

[weifinder]

Have I said anything about saving me? No! I'm just screaming about a bear behind the bathing barrel, passing me the soap!

[consignation]

So now you're saying you need saving from dogs but not bears?

[weifinder]

Jiang! Cheng!

[consignation]

Don't yell my name! What are you screaming for if not to be saved, then? Informing us of the bear's qualifications as a bath attendant?!

[weifinder]

Because people should know a bear invaded the camp, Jiang Cheng!

[consignation]

And now they're informed?? So what's the next step, Wei Wuxian?!

[downswing]

We defend Wei Ying against the assailant.



( He doesn't think it's there either, but you're an asshole. )

[consignation]

But he says he wasn't screaming for help, just screaming in a generally informative manner.

[weifinder]

Tackling the bear is helping, I'm too naked to do it myself!

[consignation]

Wei Wuxian, you've never once in your life been too naked to do something.

[downswing]

( ....???? )

[downswing]

( Marry young, they said. )

[downswing]

( He'll mend his ways, they said. )

done

[downswing]

( He won't send the world aflame, throw himself off a cliff then shame his body running from unanticipated ursine invaders, they said.







LOOK AT THIS, XIONGZHANG. AND THE COLD OF THE NIGHT SUGGESTS THAT'S NOT EVEN THE THICK OF THIS SITUATION. )

[weifinder]

I would have naked wrestled a bear when I was much, much younger!

( when he wasn't half a wreck okay he's only got speed to save him now, unless he's going to WHISTLE IT INTO SUBMISSION )

[downswing]

He is not unarmed.