un: pillar of the heavens | video

[inkfire]

[ Mo Ran stands in the southern wing at sunset, a beautiful cascade of golden flowers raining down upon him. He holds a golden petal in his hand, admiring its glow. He's a handsome figure, dressed in a formal black suit, as though prepared to go to dinner already, with some of the flowers caught in his hair, but his normally cheerful expression is morose. His eyes glimmer with tears that haven't yet fallen. ]

How do you know if you're in love with someone? [ He addresses the question to the camera, but his attention is still on the petal in his hand. ] I thought I loved someone for a long time, but then I left home and never saw him and didn't think about him at all, while my mind was filled with thoughts of someone else.

[ He blinks, a tear trickling down his cheek. Mo Ran ignores it, still lost in thought. ]

And where is the line between guilt and love? [ He rubs the petal between his fingers, then lets it drift away, catching another one. ] He was... kind to me when I did nothing to deserve it and returned his kindness with cruelty. I respect him tremendously, so maybe that's all? But whenever I'm here, all I can think about is him.

[ He's being dramatic, he knows that well, but something about the southern wing just makes him think too much about his relationships. He sighs, dropping the petal again, and finally brushes the tear away from his cheek. ]

Oh, the castle seems reluctant to let me into the kitchen to help cook. Has anyone had any luck? I'm not complaining about the food served to us, but I'd still like to use the kitchen. What if I forget how to make noodles?

Comments

[wifedup]

Ohh.

( The single heroic tear tells a different story. )

Well, what does love look like to you?

[inkfire]

[ That tear is doing a lot of work here. ]

Cherishing and respecting them and not sullying them with my affections.

[wifedup]

( Oh no, he's not drunk enough to unpack all of that. )

Are you affections so poor that they would?

[inkfire]

Yes.

[ He's not going to unpack that, though. ]

But I do not feel that way towards him.

[wifedup]

Affectionate?

[inkfire]

Yes. And other ways.

[wifedup]

If you don't feel affectionate then why are you so worried about love? They usually come hand in hand.

[inkfire]

I meant I do feel affection. But he was the one who believed in me, even when I didn't deserve it, and he's my teacher, so maybe it's just gratitude?

[wifedup]

Oh, a forbidden romance! I see, I see.

( Does he sound gleeful? Maybe. He's very bored and this is more interesting. )

Well, you certainly aren't the first to want to jump their shifu's bones, you won't be the last. ( Conversationally. ) You know, most people don't twist themselves into knots over another person unless they do, actually, want something more. So take everything else away, the guilt and what have you, if you were just any ordinary person and your teacher another ordinary person and you met on the streets or in a tavern - what would you do? What would you want from them?

[inkfire]

I have never considered that option. [ His shizun has always been such a god-like figure that thinking of him as an ordinary person is a challenge. ] In this, does he still look the same? Assuming he does, then I would want... something inappropriate.

[wifedup]

So, just fucking then? That's fair enough. I wouldn't be working myself into a state over sex however.

[inkfire]

Not just that, though I do want that. I want to take him home and protect him.

[wifedup]

Ah.

( Ahhhh. )

Well. There's your answer.

[inkfire]

Yeah. [ Ahhh indeed. ] Thank you, Senior.

[wifedup]

Eh! Less of that, I'm hardly ancient.

( Also he's missed his calling as a matchmaker. ) But, hm. Don't worry yourself into knots. Your teacher isn't here. Who knows how long you'll be stuck away from them? You can use the time to get your head and your heart in tandem but what good is fretting?

And remember! The clingy man always wears them down!