un: pillar of the heavens | video

[inkfire]

[ Mo Ran stands in the southern wing at sunset, a beautiful cascade of golden flowers raining down upon him. He holds a golden petal in his hand, admiring its glow. He's a handsome figure, dressed in a formal black suit, as though prepared to go to dinner already, with some of the flowers caught in his hair, but his normally cheerful expression is morose. His eyes glimmer with tears that haven't yet fallen. ]

How do you know if you're in love with someone? [ He addresses the question to the camera, but his attention is still on the petal in his hand. ] I thought I loved someone for a long time, but then I left home and never saw him and didn't think about him at all, while my mind was filled with thoughts of someone else.

[ He blinks, a tear trickling down his cheek. Mo Ran ignores it, still lost in thought. ]

And where is the line between guilt and love? [ He rubs the petal between his fingers, then lets it drift away, catching another one. ] He was... kind to me when I did nothing to deserve it and returned his kindness with cruelty. I respect him tremendously, so maybe that's all? But whenever I'm here, all I can think about is him.

[ He's being dramatic, he knows that well, but something about the southern wing just makes him think too much about his relationships. He sighs, dropping the petal again, and finally brushes the tear away from his cheek. ]

Oh, the castle seems reluctant to let me into the kitchen to help cook. Has anyone had any luck? I'm not complaining about the food served to us, but I'd still like to use the kitchen. What if I forget how to make noodles?

Comments

un: bottled up inside | video;

[deescalate]

I don't know if I've ever been in love, but...I think if you're always thinking of someone fondly and miss them when they're not around, then that's probably a good sign of it.

un: pillar of the heavens | video

[inkfire]

Do you have someone you think of fondly?

Huh. I guess I do think of him fondly now, and I definitely miss him. But my cousin also thinks of him fondly, and the other person I thought I was in love with, I'm sure he thinks of our mentor fondly.

[deescalate]

I do.

[Then the rest comes out and Cal's eyes widen a bit. He suddenly wonders if he's misheard something.]

Oh. He's your mentor? Um...I can't say I know how that feels. I mean, aside from platonically.

[inkfire]

Do you think you love them? The person you think of fondly, not your mentor. If you have one. [ Some people don't, he's gathered. ] So maybe I just think of him fondly, as a student to a mentor.

[deescalate]

[Cal opens his mouth, then closes it, looking away as his fair skin flushes slightly.]

I might. I grew up in an order where attachment was forbidden, so this is all kinda new to me. But I know I feel differently about her than I did my master. I respected him. I'm grateful for everything he taught me before...before he died.

[He clears his throat.]

The way I feel about my partner is more...romantic. I guess.