un: absterge | video

[downswing]

( Two men and a xenomorph walk into a tavern —

...alternatively, stumble down a woodland road, breath staggered, seemingly drained — if not by the weight of the enormous forest creature they carry, bled and bound to a makeshift pallet of decayed logs, then by the constant, jittery effort to evade the strikes of its tail.

The Doctor drags the animal’s wooden bed by long, loosely woven strips of ripped cloth. Lan Wangji holds the pendant with one hand and his own cutting strings that fetter the beast with the other.

For their trouble, the creature’s tail lovingly smacks the Doctor on his flank, then thwaps Lan Wangji’s temple, on the swing back. It growls its thanks after, before settling into a... disturbing... purr... that seems to indicate the time to nap is nigh.

The Doctor, then: ) It's settling down a bit already! Just needed a proper looking after, really, like anything.

( Well said, Doctor. For your effort, have a nice, friendly, sleepy tail smack on the back. So Wangji doesn’t feel jealous, the snoring beast peers over his shoulder, drenching it in a sea of... drool. He sighs. )

We bear one of the Beastmaster’s creatures. Feral, wounded. Enemy of the Huntress in the woods.

( Who should have been long culled, but don’t let Lan Wangji’s long-suffering expression convince you of that. The enemy or their enemy, so on. )

It requires... healing to resume duties. We number those who know the care of animals?

( ooc: ...sorry, cave buddies, just going to park Fido in the back real quick! Any veterinarians in the house? )

Comments

voice, un: strange

[rehandle]

[ Oh look. Must be a Tuesday.

Voice, partly because he's late to the party and busy, partly so they can't see his face when he says: ]

I'm sure you've been flooded with veterinary practitioners specialising in that exact brand of totally ordinary livestock.

[ You're killing him, men. But still... ]

Getting it back okay?

[downswing]

It — ( Is black and bluing them with ongoing, stupefying prowess. ) — requires wooing.

[rehandle]

So I see. You should probably put out a call for a snake charmer while you're at it.

[downswing]

I did. You answered.

[rehandle]

[ Was this a fatality, he can't quite tell. A few seconds of stunned silence while he does the mental math lady meme... but he can't leave it too long or he'll lose, so. ]

If you wanted to spend more time with me, you could've forgone the horrifying casualty and just asked.

[ Alas, it's a weak comeback and he knows it. ]

Do you need more hands?

[downswing]

Wards.

The creature may be unleashed once the healed. But may... forget its fleeting allegiance until then.

[rehandle]

That I can do. Let me know when you have it settled, I'll come by to set something up.

[downswing]

...caution. It is — ( ...feral, cruel, lacking in charms. Compensating with teeth. ) Bereft of your mannered disposition.

[rehandle]

Don't worry. I pulled the giant eyeball out of some overgrown calamari the other day, [ read: months and months ago, before emerging from desert sands ] I can handle that brand of bad manners.

[downswing]

...you acquired your third eye so?

[rehandle]

... No.

[downswing]

Certain? It bears a likeness.

[rehandle]

To the eyeball the size of a car that you've never seen? Yes. I'm certain.

[ Not taking this 'your third eye looks like a dead fish eye' abuse!!! ]

un: headless ragdoll | audio

[matermali]

You plan to come here to assist in keeping the creature subdued?

[ She sounds neither irritated nor welcoming.

But seriously Wangji, stop inviting people. If this cave turns into a zoo she's moving out. ]

audio

[rehandle]

[ Oh, another resident of the menagerie? ]

I do, if you don't mind another houseguest.

[ 'House' is generous, but he ought to be generous if he's imposing. ]

[matermali]

[ She minds. Does this mean that all of a sudden a fourth is going to have to bear witness to her abilities? It may be better just to see if he can handle it himself. Vanessa knows enough about him, and not because of anything that may or may not have occurred in Alem.

Is this breaking some kind of girl code? Sorry Wanda, she didn't invite him. ]

Not at all.

[ An Emmy, an Oscar, and a Nickelodeon Kid's Choice Award. ]

How could I be anything other than charmed and intrigued by the prospect of witnessing you conduct your work?

[rehandle]

[ A beat. There's Something happening here, a disturbance in the force...

But he can let it go. Never one to look an ego boost in the mouth. ]

Well, alright then. Looking like it'll be quite a party.

[matermali]

Perhaps after the poor beast has recovered.

[ A perfect time for jokes. ]

How do you plan to proceed?

[rehandle]

[ Badum tsh. He'll honour the joke by letting it go, though there's perhaps a trace of a smirk lingering in his first few words as he speaks. ]

I'm on containment. If there's an unused area of the cave with adequate space, I can set up a ward to separate it from the rest of the living quarters.

[lanclan]

[ Pardon his breathing, he is rushing toward his brother and the monster Wangji decided to bring home without telling him. ]

Sir, I can calm the beast if you can ward it. I am on my way.

[rehandle]

[ Well this is a whole lot of energy - and a lot of meeting new people. Who knew a ailing monster could be such a magnet for social activity?

Their entire current standing is far from ideal, but there's just something about this particular scenario that's put a little zest into a less than zesty day, so the answer comes light with barely concealed humor. ]

Oh, we're in a hurry? Guess I'd better get moving.

[ His breathing does not seem to be troubled in the least. ]

[lanclan]

Gusu Lan Clan thanks you.

[ Any who are headed to take some of the strain off Wangji are most welcome, as a literal monster tries to smack Xichen's brother around the head. ]

[rehandle]

[ Wait, pardon. ]

Clan. As in kin?

[ Somebody hasn't been paying much attention to his fellow travellers of late. ]

[lanclan]

Wangji is my brother. I am Lan Xichen, a pleasure to meet you.

[ Albeit hurriedly. ]

Perhaps formalities could be postponed to a later date?

[ MONSTA. ]

[rehandle]

[ Meanwhile, elsewhere, Wangji's busy being rude about his third eye, so he doesn't sound overly concerned when he answers with: ]

Of course. Until later, then.

[ And he'll cut it off there, and save his own return introduction for the aforementioned Later. ]