un: sect leader jiang | the dreaded accidental video

[consignation]

[ stripping out of his robe, jiang cheng bumps his device and leaves it with his heap of clothes. it's understandable, really, with what a rush he's in to dive off the pier. he's stripped down to nothing more than his thin innermost robe, a white slip that falls barely past his (shapely) buttocks, sashed by a single flimsy tie on his left side just above his hip. gloriously bare, elegant legs carry him in a sprint away from the broadcasting device, and then the sect leader takes a picturesque dive in a shallow arc to hasten through the water to his target. throughout, there's the excited murmuring of a crowd from somewhere just behind the device, but once jiang cheng is in the water they start to stage whisper in the earnest.

there's hushed delight about his hair, his jawline, his cheekbones, his physique. there's tittering of how his children might look, peppered with suggestions of which villagers have had the good fortune of warming his bed. the chatter grows increasingly lewd until two parties claim to have been with their beloved village rescuer just this last night, neither willing to back down until there's screaming and shouting as a fight breaks out.

just as someone can be glimpsed out of the corner of the frame being held in a headlock, the subject of the gossip reemerges from the water in a now entirely translucent robe that is also falling off his shoulder, a sodden puppy held carefully in his arms which he hands off to a little boy waiting anxiously near the edge of the water. the fight and crowd disperse at once, though a few people do come by to compliment jiang cheng, some inviting him to dinner or to spend the night at their house and other such niceties.

only after all this does jiang cheng go to retrieve his clothes and notice his device on and recording. ]

Oh, sorry. I hope this hasn't been on too long making too much noise. Um.

Is everyone well?

Comments

text | un: wei wuxian

[weifinder]

Where do people find these dogs?

Jiang Cheng, you've been eating well! Have you considered the merits of dark under layers, or are you content embracing the way of the river fisherman? You have dedicated admirers for your approach, ah, you're a brilliant flirt when you're not trying to flirt at all!

VIDEO!!!!!!!

[consignation]

[ welcome to a close up of one angry eyebrow plus eye and most of jiang cheng's nose as he glares at the general concept of wei wuxian alongside his text. ]

Why are you texting me? What, you're too good to have a spoken conversation with your brother now?? Turn on your video!!

TEXT!!!!

[weifinder]

There aren't more terrible creatures around are there

[consignation]

A half drowned puppy??? That's what you're calling a half drowned baby animal?? No! It's gone! The sobbing child it belonged to has left!

[weifinder]

Good! May the child not sob in the future when it tests its horrible teeth on him out of pique!

Also, you're mostly unclothed and nothing's being left to the imagination after that soaking, do you want a drying cloth or are you enjoying this fisherman's freedom?

[consignation]

There's no point! I may have to jump back in at any time. These villagers are unusually inept at not staying out of the water. [ could their repeated drowning attempts have an ulterior motive, jiang cheng? certainly not. ]

Anyway, as I've said to you before and will say to you again, beloved pets don't bite their owners as long as they're adequately trained! It's like...

Your little Lan Sizhui versus your Lan Wangji. One was raised properly, the other necessitates keeping on a short leash.

[weifinder]

They live next to a series of rivers and lakes and fish for their living, you tell me not a one of them swims?

And I speak from experience when I say however beloved the pet, they absolutely can and do. My little Sizhui bites as hard and deep with far less warning, ah? Don't be fooled!

( a pause. )

I'm very impressed by him.

un: absterge

[downswing]

Modesty would deter bed warmers.

video B(

[consignation]

[ jiang cheng continues to drip artfully, robe clinging to every curve, every... detail. ]

What bed warmers am I deterring? Are you making a pass, Lan Wangji?

[ he wasn't present for the argument and is blissfully unaware of the rumor mill. ]

:')

[downswing]

Yunmeng's matchmakers will be awed.

>((((

[consignation]

I haven't heard anything about you not making a pass. Otherwise what business is it of yours!!

[downswing]

Family to my soulmate. His dignity.

[consignation]

When was the last time Wei Wuxian had dignity? Or shame?? Wei Wuxian!! Come here and answer!!

[downswing]

He is an honoured cultivator and beloved father.

un: wei wuxian

[weifinder]

I think he's just worried you manage the wet white robe look more naturally

video; 1/3

[reparo]

[wait...]

video; 2/3

[reparo]

[oh no, he's...hot?]

video; 3/3

[reparo]

That was an entirely too long video.

[consignation]

[ jiang cheng is squinting. that's. that's your complaint? ]

My apologies for my animal rescue services not being efficient enough for your liking. No one made you stay for all of it.

Did you need something?

MORGAN i was going to LAST FIVE COMMENTS

[reparo]

[be understanding. give him another chance. #DoItForXichen]

Ah, no. [a pause.] But well done on the rescue - you've gained quite a following here, haven't you?

HOW IS YOUR INABILITY TO LAST LONGER MY PROBLEM

[consignation]

[ miss hermione, he can both see and hear your eyeroll. ]

I wouldn't call it a following. They're simply grateful for the service I provide.

[ he says, with people visibly trailing behind him. ]

Title of Jiang Cheng's sex tape

[reparo]

They are. Literally. Following you.

un: protector izumi | voice;

[fushichou]

You made a hell of a ruckus. But saved a puppy! Good priorities.

[consignation]

I made no such ruckus! ...that was the villagers. I have no control over their... enthusiasm.

[ not that he's complaining... for once... about this specific thing... ]

( not here )

[lanclan]

[ He's browsing this device once he has time to sit down. Definitely not interacting, but this post ... puts some things into perspective. Ah, right. Mmhm. ]