eastbound | un: starburst, toward the end of this arc.

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un: starburst, toward the end of this arc.

( Emilia di Carlo has seen better days, by the look of her. Her battle leathers are torn, soot and cuts still on her face — but she doesn't give in to the exhaustion just yet, nor the bile in her throat. First, she addresses the people of Alem, dignified and resolute. )

Prince Haiva sacrificed himself and leaves his sister, the young Cle-Florens, spared.

I was witness.

( A pause, then, as she allows that to sink in. )

Hell is sealed.

You fought with valor so others might live. I'm glad to have fought beside you, and will remember your fallen just the same.

If you've yet to evacuate, the time is now. Hassir awaits.

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[ Five was waiting for that tone. Wrath knows better than anyone, and it's painful to think how close he was to throwing his life away on an illusion. (Everything's painful. Everything hurts.) If it meant bringing Ben back, he would have sacrificed himself and any one of them. In that moment he wanted to, and Wrath knew. Emilia probably did too. Before that... a curse he's trained himself for years to ignore was less important than the gates of Hell opening, but he should have given more weight to the consequences. He's been at this point before. Even now it’s pulsing inside him, and he isn’t confident that he can stay grounded if he's tested again. ]

There wasn't time, and he wouldn't agree to all of my conditions. [ Which seem less important now. He wanted to be in control of something he obviously isn't. ]

An oversight. I can at least get a temporary fix until we're somewhere stable. [ He nearly asks if he'd still supervise, but something about the word bothers him too much to repeat. ] I know... I need your help. I thought I'd... built up a tolerance, but clearly I overestimated.

Then time must be made. Not only could you have been left in Hell to be tortured for eternity, but you would have killed anyone who attempted to help you against a demon - all while the demon delighted at your suffering and used you as its weapon.

Without the mirror, you had a chance.

( Wrath did not think he had to lay this out so clearly, but he will do so. And he would help. He would watch over and make certain no one did anything he was uncomfortable with, but Wrath gets the feeling that trust is still not wholly there. )

Curses do not get better unless action is taken. There is no building tolerance. There is only ending up with your choice ripped from your grasp time and time again.

[ Wrath picks right up on Five's attempt to downplay his situation. The curse gives him an excuse for his most recent bout of insanity, but only partially. After those early failed attempts to figure it out himself, he's resisted help consistently while it quietly ate away at him. Now he struggles to think of anything else.

There's only one person who always seems to know exactly how bad it is. Even before Hell. Wrath predicted this a long time ago. Anyone else and Five might have stayed quiet for lack of words to express what he's still struggling to comes to terms with, but again, Wrath is different. ]

Why do you keep giving it to me? I've made the wrong one every time you offered. Why did I deserve to be saved?

( Wrath gives pause at the questions - the second question is so mortal in nature that he has difficulty understanding it. After all, he did not ask if he deserved it before he clawed his way on to his own throne in Hell, striking down all who opposed. )

I know what it is to exist without choice in a way you cannot. ( In a way few can ) Regardless of whether you make the right or wrong choice, it will be yours to make so long as I can ensure it.

( Wrath was made to be a creature that followed orders without question. He was an angel, following his Maker's will over and over again, and he could not resist an order. It was followed - angel of death, of war. Wrath gave it all up to fall, to claim Hell's throne for himself, because he could make his own choices regardless of how wicked they may be.

There's further pause as Wrath considers the words, considers all they have spoken of. Five does not seek comfort, and it is just as well as Wrath is not capable of it - he is a demon. All he can give is honesty unflinching: )

Your choice destroys only yourself.

( Five takes on the anguish. Five's choices are drowned in it. )

[ Wrath is the only one who manages to make him feel so young. When he gives advice, it's from the perspective of an immortal who has seen every failure of humankind. Who knows what he's talking about. Of course it's always about choice to him.

He can't refute what he says. Five has cheated death so many times that he struggles to keep it in perspective. He chose to suffer, like he chose to time travel, chose to kill. It was supposed to be for something, not... so he could lose his family and watch the world end, over and over. Maybe he is the problem.

Starting with the reason Ben died. ]

I didn’t… I should have known it wasn’t real. Even without you telling me.

[ It’s not an excuse, but he doesn’t know what to do with what he’s feeling. He can’t tell how much of it is him and how much is what he’s hoarding from others. He failed Ben, and he’s failing Allison willfully losing his mind. All of his missing siblings. ]

I obviously can’t trust my own judgment. Don’t let me… if I refuse again.

( Wrath is grateful Five is able to see this much when they speak on the subject - no pride getting in the way of seeing clearly though it may be the curse. Misery is a powerful emotion.

He waits following that particular request. It is not that he would not honor it, but more that he is aware the agony within Five remains at high levels. He does not know that he speaks clearly even now, and he would prefer requests made to be done when they are not made out of desperation or when they are not influenced by the crowd of misery and agony. )

Free the agony from your mirror, lessen your curse so you might have a clear mind, and we will speak again on this subject.

( And Wrath can answer. )

Let me know if you wish me to be there.

( For now they must travel on once again. )

[ Five sits with that answer. Even beyond the anguish, he feels so strangely fragile after what happened. The pieces of his mind he was able to cobble back together are balanced so precariously that he could lose his grip and watch them tumble at any given moment. He half-expected Wrath to refuse the request to have the choice taken from him, even if it'd be for his own good, but he would have thought Hell was the last straw.

It still lingers in him, and it's an effort to recognize what happened and didn't. He’d been so certain Ben was real that even now he can't get the image out of his mind. All he sees is his dead family whenever he closes his eyes and he swears the pain he's been carrying belongs to them.

He remembers what Wrath told him back before it got this bad, about preferring that he wasn't under any influence when he made his choice. It isn't lost on him that no one has ever cared so much about his free will. Even Five wouldn't have done the same if he watched someone continue to put them at risk the way he has. He would have put them out of their misery and said it was for their own good.

Instead Wrath urges him forward, and supports his plan to deal with the curse. Going to someone else to drain it is a desperate move, but the alternative of waiting is no longer an option. He’s already asked so much of his friend, and he'd like to at least show he's trying. He’ll continue to debate how much trust he's willing to put into the process until it happens. ]

...I'll be in touch.

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un: starburst, toward the end of this arc.

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