audio { un: hide-and-seek }

[makemeasong]

[ Clara isn't sure how long it is before she feels capable of having a conversation, one where she's able to coherently explain her interaction with the Child. She's been sitting with her thoughts, turning over every level in her mind, all the things she saw and felt. By the time the Doctor had found her on Level Three, she'd already been through enough to hide in a dark room, uncharacteristically unsure of what to do. They'd wound up getting to the top of the tower together, he'd seen her through the sickness, but he'd gone back for others. That had left her alone to talk with the Child when he appeared without a sound by her side. Now, it's time to share what she's learned.

She may be feeling up to conversation, but not enough for video, and after this, only enough to text. When she begins, her voice is already hoarse, rough around the edges. ]

Right, jumping straight to it this time 'round. I had an interesting conversation with the Child. The kid in the fox mask. He said some things I'm sharing so we can talk them out or whatever we need to do. This may be a coincidence since I dunno know what the tower was or wasn't manipulating at that point, but anytime he stood with his umbrella over me, I felt better, less like I was sick. I also still have it, the umbrella. He left it.

[ She'd tried to give it back to him, and he'd let her have it without saying anything about it. ]

Alright, I'll get to it because we're all exhausted. The conversation started when he told me I 'wouldn't like what I see' and followed that hit up with 'seeing the undead isn't the same as knowing what's happening.' I guess he knows about the dragon eyes and what they do. I asked him who could help us know what we need to understand the rest, but his only suggestion was to ask his parents. He mentioned his father knows everything. Lots of kids think that, though.

Third fact of fun: fox-face told me his father could help anyone except me. And I dunno if he meant me specifically or all of us? Because he finished that bit up by saying he—as in himself—'made things sick' but didn't mean to and he's sorry. The kid also referred to a 'him' and 'he' a lot. Mentioned if 'he' were here, 'he' would know why we were sick. I'm assuming the father is the same 'him,' but it was never clear. Could be two totally separate beings.

[ But here's where things get even more interesting. ]

Next, kid says he was in Serthica after a ship dropped him off to play with the dragons. He seemed pretty excited about the idea that said dragons were big enough to eat 'him.' Still dunno if that's different from dad.

[ Now for the real dick move: ]

The Child said he was playing with me, with us. I think I guilted him into admitting we're his toys, just playthings. The dollhouse built just for him with us as the living dolls. Then he was gone. Not before saying he was glad to have us as toys.

[ Clara rubs a hand over her face, sighing audibly. ]

Other fine details include: he doesn't know how to keep us from getting sick, he doesn't understand why we get sick or how to stop us from dying (so he claims), and he blamed me or...us, I guess, for coming to a place where the sickness is. He insisted he was a good kid who only came to play with dragons.

[ By the time she's done, she's satisfied she hasn't missed anything — hopes so at least. ]

That's all I know. Or at least it's all I can remember. Was a long day, but I don't have to tell you lot that. Hopefully, this helps with something.

Comments

un: headless ragdoll (text)

[matermali]

It was the white wanderer who built the citadel, by the child's claim. The man could also, as so claimed, cure the sickness if he chooses to, but there was no answer as to why he hasn't returned to do so. The boy only said "he can't stay" and that he won't tell the boy his name.

His nature may be that of a child's, but that does not make him an innocent. To say that he "didn't mean to" means that he knows he is culpable in the suffering, no matter how sorry he is for instigating it. He then turns around to claim that everyone here is happy, and that we are the ones about to ruin it all. He avoids responsibility by work of his own delusion.

[downswing]

As children are wont to, without guiding hand.

[matermali]

I don't believe he would accept our guidance. Even so, what benefits the attempt, if he cannot control the sickness that he spreads?

[downswing]

We cannot condemn, for our failure to understand.

[matermali]

None of us have the right to condemn nor absolve him. The same could be said for the people of the citadel.

I remain wary. There is no telling what he may do should we further interfere with his illusion.

[downswing]

And if his power may turn to aid?

[matermali]

Then I will be glad for it.

[makemeasong]

Whose fault is it when a child behaves a certain way? Kids are kids, they don't come out pre-programmed.

[ At least that's what Clara believes, it's what she's always believed. ]

[matermali]

Fault has no bearing on the matter at hand. He seems to be either the source or is closely connected to the source of disease. Perhaps he did not choose it, perhaps he was cursed, but if he can't control it, then that is a grave concern.

[makemeasong]

I don't disagree with that. he still deserves to be treated like a kid and not a pariah. He's different, and he's probably alone because of it, considering he makes everyone sick.

I don't think he can be around us, but he doesn't want to be alone.

[matermali]

His story is sad. All of our stories are sad, or else why would we be here? It doesn't change the threat that he represents.

He was quite adamant about wanting us gone. He said we were ruining everything, and that he wished we had never come.

[makemeasong]

Show me a child that's never had a temper tantrum, and I'll show you a three-legged unicorn.

The threat to us is only that he has an ability no one's ever taught him how to control. The only thing he's done is discover he has an ability, and realize he can lash out when he's angry (with no consequences) because someone enjoys chaos. I don't think that person is him.

I'm not saying I have any good ideas on how to help fox face, I just know kids.

[matermali]

I wish to help him, should it truly be a curse that he is inflicted with. He does not deserve to be as he is, if there's no malice in it.

But we must first look to ourselves, and without knowing how to help him when he so refuses our advice, we would be unwise to ignore other considerations should new opportunities present themselves.

[makemeasong]

I would rather keep him contained somehow if we can, if he's afraid or tries to lash out. I think there might be some here who'd be willing to help with that.

But if it is only malice, if he does enjoy hurting us—which I don't believe at this point—then I know it'll come down to what's wisest for us all.

[ Sometimes there's only the worst choice. A taste, maybe, of what the Doctor goes on the days he loses. ]

[matermali]

[ Even if it isn't out of malice, dire measures may need to be taken if they see him again, for the sake of all. Vanessa knows it isn't going to be a popular idea; it never is. ]

Who would be capable of containing him? He can appear and vanish at will, and none here know how to combat the sickness, as far as I am aware.

[makemeasong]

There are magical users here. I haven't personally spoken to every single one of them, so I'm unsure if there are others here who can trap him using their abilities. After that, it's a matter of drawing him out somehow.

Do you happen to know of anyone?

[ It'd save her some time if Vanessa did. ]

[matermali]

We have exorcists in our numbers. I can't speak to the skills of all from personal experience, nor how willing they would be to trap him if they are able.

But I know what it means for those who carry a shroud which causes only torment. If he is the source, I don't know how he can be cured without also being destroyed. If not that, then changed. You assume for the better.

[makemeasong]

You say that like it's a bad thing.

[ It grates on her, that more people aren't willing to see something better for the Child than misery. And if they are, not many people are saying it out loud. ]

Just because we don't know how to help doesn't mean there isn't an answer. Or is there someone here who can factually tell me what's happening to him and confirm none of this is reversible? I'd love to talk to that person.

[matermali]

Your compassion is touching, and I'm not indifferent to his possible torment. But rarely do we have the luxury of facts, and time is not on our side. Rarely do we get the answers that we want.

We can do only so much with what we have been given, and what we do now is no small task. I would caution against belittling the efforts of our people if they are unable or unwilling to extend themselves beyond their limits, especially for an entity they know nothing of beyond the destruction that he has brought about.

[makemeasong]

I can't live with never knowing. Even if the answer is no, I need to know with as much certainty as possible. Are we that certain? I'm genuinely asking. But good to know the impression I'm giving.

[ She's not all hope and happy endings, she's all too aware that life is unfair and cruel, and sometimes makes no sense. But she is offended that Vanessa thinks that she'd belittle anyone, just because she wants to find someone who can assure her the hardest choice is the only one with no other option.

And she is more exhausted than she ever has been in her life. Her interpretation of things might be off. ]

[matermali]

The impression you give is that you have been through painful trials, only to receive more questions than answers. Who among us cannot understand that? In the least, I know I am not at my best self.

Perhaps clarity will reach us when we have had a moment to recover. I haven't given up all hope, despite my caution.

[makemeasong]

[ It's only in reading this message that Clara goes back to read Vanessa's previous one, and she deflates a little. Closing her eyes, she puts the device aside for a second and rubs her face with both hands. She's never experienced so many things that put her out of control of her own body, nevertheless her mind. Picking up her device again she does, at least, apologize for being short. ]

I'm sorry. And you're right, I need sleep. Probably days of it before I have any right to think about this again.

[ There's a moment of hesitation at her next message; she knows the Doctor is fond of Vanessa, and that means Clara wants to be on the right foot with her, so to speak. Serthica has made it difficult to get to know people the way she's used to but of course, the Doctor has no trouble. He never does.

She shoves out of her mind the secondary thought that his new face might. ]

Are you okay after everything?

[matermali]

[ She is so far from okay that she doesn't know where to mail her letters of complaint. ]

I am remarkably in one piece, though I was not prepared for such terrain. I consider myself lucky to have managed, and only did so through the help of others.

[ Her skirts were all wrong for this mission. Just... Just awful. ]

You're kind to always ask.

[makemeasong]

We're all we have.

[ Clara really does want the best thing for everyone. And she knows that tower, all of this, the Child made. She hadn't realized when she first addressed everyone. ]

I'm glad you made it out. I think I should suggest to the Doctor he just keeps everyone he cares for right in the same space. He'll wear himself out eventually, looking after all of us individually.

[ She's joking. Sort of. Maybe? ]

[matermali]

[ She thinks he might wear himself into nonexistence.

There's a delay in her response. ]

Yes, I'm sure that's what he would wish as well.

What of you, are you all right? After everything?