video | un: dollhouse

[thedreamer]

Hello, gang! ...Gang? No, not the right word. Team? Better. Do we have a name? Those of us displaced and trapped here. Well, there we are.

[ As if the semantics are really important. Moving on. ]

I'm the Doctor, if we haven't spoken yet. And if we haven't - first of all, why haven't we? Second of all, I'm very glad we are now.

[ He's moving around a lot as he talks, walking in slow circles, just restless. ]

Hearing what everyone's uncovered recently has been helpful and I believe I can add something of value to the mix.

In conversation with our caretaker in the Mouse House, Ma'am Mariol, I learned more about the plague that swept through. When the sickness struck, it fractured Serthica. Those up here believed it came from down below, the Mouse House; the first to touch anything imported, anything crossing the sea, they assumed. Prior to that, it was easier for those down below to come and go up here. Much more difficult now, nearly impossible, and so the people down there, the children, they suffer.

[ He has to note that for a moment because he will remain displeased until he can fix their situation. ]

The children we've met in the Mouse House were orphaned as a result of the sickness. All of them. To anyone's knowledge, not a single person who was infected survived. They referred to it as the coal sick; called that because an infected person's hands, toes, face would go dark, like coal dust and rot. Rot - familiar word, that one, eh?

What else - right - it infected quickly. Someone could be healthy one day and then nearly dead the next. Coughing up blood, teeth chattering, wandering back and forth to keep warm.

I hoped to ascertain how the splitting of Serthica was decided, how people were sorted, if some were exiled down below who'd previously lived in the citadels, simply for fear of spreading illness. There's at least one woman that I know of in the Mouse House, who used to live in the citadels. She receives letters from her daughter, who lives up here. Evidently, this woman ended up in the Mouse House around the time the sickness swept through, yet her daughter remains here.

Don't worry, that won't be the end of what I learn. I'm still working it out. [ He gets a bit more restless, impatient almost, pacing more urgently. ] Brain isn't working fast enough. Thinking and thinking and more thinking. I have to be careful how often I go down there, so I'm told - not that I've ever listened to that sort of thing - but if there are other questions I've missed, tell me. Maybe I'm standing too close to see everything.

Many heads are better than one, so the saying goes. Unless it's a multi-headed predator of some sort. Not the best odds, in that case, if you're the prey, though very good if you're the predator. All creatures have a right to it, though, of course, so can't judge that one. Survival of the fittest. You'd be surprised, though! A very good friend of mine, his name was Bertram; a beautiful, tiny Snorclax with a rainbow shell. He told me once he faced down a three-headed serpent wielding nothing but a pencil. [ This has nothing to do with anything at all, but that hardly matters. He just likes to tell stories and he has a captive audience. Unfortunately for the audience. ]

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[thedreamer]

[ More wars. So inevitable, it seems, unfortunately. So much destruction and pain, such a common theme throughout the universe. So often, he can't interfere, only observe. He has to be careful with the influence he has on certain events.

Now, though, he better understands why his words landed perhaps a little too close to a sensitive topic for her.

She's describing, as well, a parallel universe, a split from the version of Earth's history that he's most familiar with. But it's not uncommon at all; there are billions of parallel timelines out there, created sometimes by even the smallest decision that changes things so drastically. ]

You were born for it, clearly. When you speak of your travels, I see what it means to you. You belong there and they need someone like you. I understand your caution, you have no other option at the moment, though I do wish more people would stop letting fear of the unknown or misunderstood guide their decisions. It sounds like the simplest thing, but it's one of the hardest, I've found: trying to get people to just talk and listen to understand. If they could hear you explain what you've just told me, they'd have to realize how wrong they are.

They're allowed to be a little afraid, of course, but someone has to break the cycle sometime, otherwise nothing better can ever get started.

[unas]

( she smiles, even if it's a little sad )

I doubt any of my explanations would change their minds -- those events might be centuries ago but fear runs deep, they assume again that someone would take advantage.

( and even if her people did do something different... would other humans seek to better themselves? or other species? )

I have... friends that found out, not by choice at the time but I trust them to know, to keep my secret. They don't care where I'm from, only what I do.

( it's chris's words that stick especially with her, considering he's the most recent conversation but also with how strongly he defended her )

But then... if I didn't do what I did, if I wasn't an explorer or so peaceful, if I didn't care... what would they think? Why can't we just be?

( it's again the log she'd deleted -- if una hadn't saved the day would chris still trust her as he did, would he still defend her and say that illyrians were misjudged? what if she'd tried but failed, it wouldn't have been her fault but it wouldn't be good either. what then? )

[thedreamer]

Well, they're being stupid then. [ Being stupid, which is at least a step above flat out calling them idiots. Which he almost does. He says this quickly, simply. An assessment based on emotion more than logic. He knows enough of war and the terrible toll it takes to understand the fear people might feel in the aftermath. But the cycle keeps going, and then what?

His reaction speaks perhaps of black-and-white absolutist thinking, which is sometimes true of him, sometimes not. Like most things with the Doctor, it depends on the context. He thinks highly of Una, so in this case, it's simple to him: others should as well, as they should of her kind. ]

You have good friends, though. We all need that, don't we? My friends have always been the best of me.

[unas]

We do. I'll be grateful to them and to have them for as long as I'm able.

( because if starfleet found out... what would happen to her, would she be locked away, sent away, buried to never be seen again? )

[thedreamer]

And here, at least, and whatever lies beyond after this, you have me.

[ He can say that genuinely, easily. He means it. ]

[unas]

You have a lot of understanding for a stranger.

( una doesn't mean his kindness, though that is certainly nice, but something that feels deeper, as if he has some history in some way with what she's talking about, something in his past that helps him understand her history. he's not human, he's hidden that before but for very different reasons. he likes to tell stories but avoided talking about home. she wouldn't press or ask him for more, and there's sympathy for his own sadness )

Maybe a man who's much older than he seems has seen something that helps him understand. Or has just seen a lot.

[thedreamer]

You get to be a thousand years old, you've seen a thing or two. I've had a few bad days in there.

[ Bad days. The phrasing isn't meant to minimize the loss and the scope of what truly happened, it's more to minimize his own pain. The destruction of Gallifrey was a very bad day indeed. The worst day. He talked about it often in his previous incarnation; Gallifrey being gone, being the last of the Time Lords. This go around, he hasn't gone in completely the opposite direction. He'll talk about it, he has, but in different ways. He's learned to compartmentalize it all better this time. He has to "forget" or it would destroy him otherwise. He's not unique in carrying pain around, though certainly he has more than his share, he's reasonably sure. Destroying one's home planet isn't a typical scar most people bear.

Even now, while he doesn't feel he needs to hide anything, he's not ready to share all the details. Though, he can share something with her. ]

It's a long story, but there hasn't been any other Time Lords for a long time. For some of us, loss makes us kinder, I like to think.

[ He chooses his phrasing deliberately. She'll be wise enough to read between the lines, he thinks, without him having to offer up much more of an explanation at the moment. He's particular about when he shares this particular story. ]

[unas]

( even without all of the details there's an understanding that una can assume, a loss she knows even if it isn't exactly the same. he's the only one of his people that he's seen in a long time like she's the only one of hers, and neither of them can really go home )

We found an Illyrian colony recently, though there were no survivors on it.

( other than spock he's the only one that knows of this mission, the mission that happened just before she arrived here )

There was an unforseen occurrence on the planet, not a disaster but for them it became it. Even in death they tried to go something good, to save someone.

[thedreamer]

[ To have such an implicit understanding with another is a rare thing, rarer indeed for the Doctor. It's a connection he thinks well of already. To hear now of what she found, well, he can easily imagine the tumult of emotions. She's had a secret to carry about her true identity, she's been separated from home for so long. To be confronted with a colony of her people, completely wiped out, and for her response to need to be carefully controlled, well, it's an incredible burden to bear. ]

A strength of character that's not always common even in the living among us. I'm sorry that happened. To you, to them.

[ If she'll allow it, he reaches out briefly to cover her hand. ]

[unas]

( she'll allow it, offering in return a small, sad smile )

They just wanted to be accepted.

( and tried to change so much in the hope of that being a possibility. apparently the 'never change for anyone' is ringing strong here. it caused their downfall )

Someone I work with commented that despite Starfleet's beliefs about Illyrians I had a lot of faith in them, and they believed that had to be hard. I think somewhere I stopped thinking about that, I just lived day by day. I do trust them even if they're not always right.

[thedreamer]

[ He keeps his hand where it is for the moment. A few seconds, he's learned, seem to make such a difference. Touch can bridge the gap where words fail sometimes; something he's learned and taken to heart over his many long years. ]

I do think that's how progress can be made, in fact. The people we meet, they might not always be right and we might not always agree, but if we try, we can build trust and connection. And I never quite stop believing that people can change their minds and do the right thing.

[ He doesn't want her to give up that hope, either. She has people she can trust, and perhaps in time, they can advocate for her and her people.

He lightly pats her hand before pulling his own back slowly. ]

[unas]

Some people would, my Captain does. ( he'd agreed to fight for her if it came to it and that meant more to una than she could ever put into words ) But I'd still be arrested if they ever found out.

( and from that she's expecting the worst, to lose her commission, to be imprisoned -- she's broken dozens of laws, broke them just be enlisting in starfleet never mind the lies since. but it was all worth it )

It's why I'll always keep it hidden, even to friends -- they might stand by me but having the information known is too much risk. At home, anyway.

[thedreamer]

A good man, your Captain. We all need people like him.

[ He understands her on so many levels. Bit of a rebel, this one. Sort of. Because she had to be, for the sake of the life she wanted to lead, and she's been forced to hide herself. But she was going to live this life on her terms, because she wanted to see the stars. He can understand that better than most.

He can also understand having to keep secrets. He has no shortage of those. ]

Wherever we're going from here, Number One, you've got me, too. And if circumstances ever allow it, well, I might have a bit of a chat with your Starfleet. Just a chat! Friendly, I promise. I can be persuasive, you know.

[unas]

There's something about that which makes me want to see it rather than hope I never have to.

( even when chris had said he'd have the conversation with starfleet, that he'd fight for her, even with her trust and belief in it she still hoped that day would never come. but yet here she's wondering just what he'd say, from a man so alien himself to them, a man who has seen more than she ever could try to know, just how he'd persuade them. even if deep down she's still afraid of that day )

Perhaps one day I'll tell you more about him and some of what we've seen, and hear some of your travels in return?

[thedreamer]

[ Because he's absolutely sure of himself and his ability to persuade anyone and anything (even if not always successful, but best to forget that fact), he's pleased by her response and he's genuinely looking forward to that day now himself. ]

I'm looking forward to it. All of it! We won't soon run out of stories to share.