[Video; UN: heavenly four seasons]

[eternallywandering]

I never knew being sick would work in my favor. [Guess who is rooming in a private cabin with the ladies?] I sleep with one eye open in case the crew decides to throw me overboard.

[He is trying so very hard to find the humor in...everything. He is also drinking any and all alcohol he can find. Shhh. It's fine.]

Daozhang Xingchen, if you can see this, please respond. Actually...

Anyone who stood in the way of the volcano, I want to talk with you.

Cheers. [He lifts a bottle.]

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[binghua]

[Xingchen nods at the question and then listens intently to the explanation. It's simple, but also encompasses his situation very well. Xingchen smiles gently.]

I would not be able to put it so eloquently if I had two lifetimes.

[But that smile fades just as quickly as it had appeared. This isn't something he can fix with well-chosen words or some physical gift. Mourning, even if someone is not dead, can be a lengthy process.

He pulls one of his hands free and hesitantly reaches out to find the side of Zhou Zishu's face. He cups a cheek for a moment, then moves up to brush some hair aside, as well as place his location in relation to his own. Then, Xingchen leans down and presses a light kiss to his friend's forehead, letting it linger a little longer than necessary.

It won't bring Wen Kexing back and it won't fill the emptiness, but he hopes this miserable little act reminds Zhou Zishu that he isn't alone.]

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[eternallywandering]

[Praise from Xingchen isn't taken lightly and Zishu smiles shakily, pressing their hands together. He may not have a lot of warmth to share, but Xingchen is welcome to it.]

I've taught a lot of disciples. You find the words you need after a lot of practice.

[No, they can't fix it even by understanding it. But he hasn't lost hope that there is a cure. If this world has cursed them, it can provide the remedy.

The sudden motion has him blinking until he realizes Xingchen's sweet intent. He leans into the kiss and smiles softly, letting the contact trickle through him, reminding him that life is a gift.

And the daozhang won't escape without a kiss of his own - to his cheek. Zishu lingers there too, wanting his friend to know the support, the affection, goes both ways.]

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[binghua]

[It's so easy to be with Zhou Zishu. Even when he's grieving, there's still just...something calming and comforting about him. That or Xingchen is still lonely, despite all the time spent with Xue Yang. People continue to be complicated.

The kiss to his cheek brings a little smile to his own face and he can't help but remember the time Zhou Zishu snuck one on him while they were Ke-Waihu. Xingchen thought this man's company was just as wonderful back then, too. He pulls away after a moment and lets some silence fall between them. Nothing awkward, just a passing time.]

May I ask...what it was like? Teaching.

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[eternallywandering]

[To be a calming presence for someone - anyone - is wonderful. Irreplaceable. Zishu tends to do better, putting his depression to the back of his mind, when someone looks to him for...comfort. Lessons. Protection. He has no trouble sacrificing himself for those reasons.

With Xingchen it's hardly a sacrifice since he enjoys the man's companionship. He is also keeping tally of the number of kisses he gives him. This would make two, wouldn't it? Good.]

Terrifying at first. I didn't feel deserving of the position. My Master died young and I was younger still. Suddenly I had a whole manor looking to me for guidance.

But somewhere along the way I figured out that they were ready and willing to give me their loyalty. Teaching them became second nature. I had to prepare them for what they would face.