un: trapped in a nightmare / without any clear way out / I just want dango | video

[fushichou]

[It is time. Have a new face on the network, one that is quite handsome and framed by long, dark hair, dangly red earrings, and a single braid on the left side of his face.

And, well, he'd be even more handsome if he weren't scowling. But there's good reason for him being upset!]

All this talk about sex...okay, I assume that's what you're all talking about because you're either artistically vague or crudely vague. I thought we had a serious mission to complete or something. Maybe I misunderstood.

[He sniffs at that, clearly not believing such an outcome.]

Whatever. But another thing. Be careful about just entrusting your swords to people. They have feelings. too.

[Suddenly, from somewhere off-camera, there's a few grunting noises. Kanesada glances at it and his expression darkens again.]

Right. Important matters.

[He turns the device around to show...a rabbit? If such a thing could really represent the rest of its species, what with its three eyes and...mandibles. But it just glances at Kanesada, tilting its head to the side as if questioning what he's looking at. Kanesada continues from off-screen.]

Oh, yeah, it looks all innocent now, but this...demon rabbit has been following me for, like, three nights. And I've seen it suck at least one man dry, like it's a vampire! But there's obviously something wrong with it, 'cause why would it be normal in the daytime? Does it have its own curse?

...Can demon rabbits get cursed? Wouldn't they do the cursing?

I know I oughtta just kill it, but I almost feel sorry for the damn thing.

[The rabbit perks up at that last sentence and snuffles in offense. Kanesada sighs and turns the device back to face him.]

So, yeah. If you see it at night? Run like hell, unless you're a competent fighter. And even then, I'd probably still suggest running. On top of everything else, it probably has a thick hide under all that fur.

Comments

[fushichou]

[No idea who this Lord Wolffort is, but that's not the important bit!]

Really! I'm a sword!

[...Wait. WAIT SHIT HE CAN FIX THIS.]

...-sman. I'm a swordsman! Not that I intend on damaging my blade, but you never know.

[arsmechanica]

[ You know, after sharing space in the encampment with Lionel (whose COIN PURSE GROWS HEAVIER!!), Jens does not even register that as an actual slip of the tongue, and not just this dude's completely normal brand of being a weirdo. People being weird? Must be a day that ends in Y. ]

I don't think anyone ever plans for it! But I'd be glad to help you out if the unforeseen should come to pass.

[fushichou]

[Thank goodness, he slid on by without a hitch!]

You're the best, I'm already calling it.

[That all being said, he thinks this guy looks familiar.]

We're staying in the same house, right? With the angry turkeys and everything? I don't think we've actually, like, spoken before. My name is Izuminokami.

[arsmechanica]

Yes! The turkeys. I...may have been avoiding the house a bit, because of that.

[ demon turkeys ]

I'm Jens.

[fushichou]

You're probably smart, Jens. They're pretty big turkeys, too.

[arsmechanica]

I've never seen turkeys so large. The farmers back home would be elated to see such results.

[ Punching food insecurity right in the kisser, if you could manage to slaughter them. ]