video ► un: bluebird

[cairhien]

( it's awkward enough that this is being conducted in the middle of a market, with a couple of teenagers that moiraine had managed to gather together but the fact that they're putting it to the group as a whole as well? atonement, it's a serious things. and she's not wanting to risk any ill effects of leaving this.

this is also going to be the most carefully worded psa you've heard -- she can't lie and what she's going to say goes against what she's done )

I've travelled to many cities, many villages, even before yours. Some of the people there have never travelled outside of their own village, may never even have dreamed of it but they as much as anyone appreciates hearing the stories of what the world is like. ( even if to them they are only stories, many of the events are disbelieved as true as they may be )

I suppose even before I travelled I was as unaware as they are, knowing little more of the places I would see than the stories I'd heard or the people I'd meet. ( and this is where she pauses, a careful look given to her partner before adding more ) It's the people that you meet on the way that tell you the most. Sometimes those offering your kindness would seek something crueller instead, whether it's immediately or revealed much later. Your trust is something to guard.

( their... trust, Lan Wangji does not reiterate, but for the northbound pull of his brows, and how he looks distinctly tortured by this educational moment. one of the nearby teenagers interrupts her mooning to briefly consult a giggling companion, mouthing, is he well? )

...trust. ( truly, martyrs have suffered less than lan wangji in this moment. ) Is sand caught by hungry hands. Slipped, it cannot be regained. Only lessens at each trade.

( another of the teenagers, scratching the top of his head, mutters fiendishly aside, wait, is this about merchantry ledgers? lan wangji’s eyes shutter to wish away the world. it has not excused itself, when he gazes at the children, again, then, helplessly, at moiraine: )

Soulmates, partners of merit. Entrust them alone your truth, sword and flesh.

( ...and ‘lo, the collective groan of the crowd indicates the teenagers have suddenly realised just what lecture they’ve stepped into.

there are small blessed mercies that he took her lead, that he said the words she's glad she now doesn't have to specify in detail. and what she might not have been quite able to say )

The people we can have around us are the ones we need to trust, to not need to question whether they should be with us, whether we can talk to them or be with them. ( she might not blush quite as easily as she did as a girl but that doesn't mean she really wants to get too descriptive about sex. though when some of the teenagers are starting to leave maybe that's better )

And what we do shouldn't be questioned, shouldn't be doubted. Are those you trust ones you completely trust? Or have you had doubts before. Certainty, honest knowledge is more blessed to have than you can know.

( it's at this moment thankfully the embarrassment for the two ends as they finish up, ending the network before dealing with any remaining teens.

none. there are none left )

Comments

[cairhien]

They were polite. I suppose that's all we could ask for.

[downswing]

( And no bruising. The deed, for all his cheek will never pale from feverish flush again, has been done. )

You sense a transition?

( There was a curse point to this, after all. )

[cairhien]

I sense an opportunity to recover ourselves.

( but what would come of what they did? )

I can hope it was enough.

[downswing]

( ...else they have martyred the last shreds of their dignity, for nothing. And yet, noteworthy: )

We have not stormed them with untruth.

[cairhien]

( not untruth. just a different truth, a truth some people followed.

though hadn't moiraine somehow known she could trust siuan before they'd first slept together or had it still then been friendship and hope? where did it cross? )

Though the circumstances of our lives may make it harder to be heard.

[downswing]

( And here, the brief, staggard fall of his mouth, tenderly agape. )

...you deceived them?

[cairhien]

I told the truth. Trusting those by you is important, not solely for intimacy.

( it's why moiraine didn't share much: she trusted two people completely )

But I've also lived a life. They haven't.

[downswing]

A life.

( And he needn't slip or tease or coax the implication, Of intimacy.

Ah, to be a scrap of a tutor, a less-than-worldly scholar. To find oneself husked of the strength and conviction required to bear on one's back the riddles of this conversation.

To turn one's gaze away, rapidly. )

Apologies. You were sundered of a companion.

[cairhien]

There's more than one path.

( and she chose hers, difficult as it may be )

Though no matter the topic it's the advice on taking any path that can be hardest to listen to. A lack of belief, trust, or thinking what you're doing is right despite advice often prevails.

( wasn't that the case with the youths she'd just picked up? )

They're stubborn.

[downswing]

( Ah, is this the sliver of a smile? Indeed, indeed. We shall not speak of it. )

Devoted to their journey.

( To be young and foolish and brave. He remembers. )

Do not begrudge.

[cairhien]

I don't. That freedom is a luxury many don't have.

( look, she'd love to be kicking it back in her fuck hut with her girl but she's got a world to try and save )

[downswing]

A privilege of sheltered youth.

( Give them a war, that'll sort them. )

[cairhien]

Or a different life.

[downswing]

Than your own.

( And now for the implications. )

[cairhien]

Than many of ours here.

[downswing]

( How to ask this, delicately, without wound or wail: )

You have a companion.

[cairhien]

( abort????? )

Someone I trust.

[downswing]

( Someone she... oh, but his breath stays. Of course. )

I beg you are reunited.

[cairhien]

One day no doubt.

( the merest hint of a smile )

But there's much we can do until then.

[downswing]

( Perhaps. And yet, nodding: )

Hearts divided keep a slower beat. ( Lend yourself care. ) The nature of wounding.

[cairhien]

( sadly being apart is their life, but she recognises the sentiment )

Then we keep hope. And remember home.

[downswing]

Mistress. ( For she is of age, and meeting his gaze, and there's an air to ancient woods and husked trees and survivors. ) You will be delivered.

[cairhien]

I still have a long road until I am home.

( not just in her world )

[downswing]

Shorter, each step forward.

( Every push and shove and kick, for all its hurts and faults and meanderings, is progress. They will, must prevail. )

Who awaits?

[cairhien]

( there's a longer pause here. normally no one even knows that moiraine has someone she trusts, nevermind that she's involved or hopes to return home to them. that would be secret enough to learn but who?

she's far from home, far from those dangers, of being stilled if her relationship is found out, of something happening to siuan. of worse fates. but it still makes her no less cautious.

the pause is long enough that it may seem that no answer will come but then, since everyone else has left them, with only his ears to hear her quieter words-- )

Her name is Siuan.