un: white pawn; text

[chosenbylight]

Greetings, friends.

I am hoping that you might be able to help me with a bit of advice.

[It's definitely not similar enough to Anduin's own personal dilemmas to have caught his attention and tugged extra hard on his heartstrings, don't look at him like that.]

There is a young girl in the village who comes to the wise man's house, asking for advice. Most of the other visitors are only there to unburden themselves of the frustrations of their day, but her situation stands out in particular.

This girl's family has arranged for her to be married since she was but a child. It is, as most such arrangements are, more of a trade negotiation than a love match. She has tried to put the marriage off for as long as she can, but she is of marrying age and her family is growing impatient.

The crux of the matter is that the girl is in love with another village boy. One from a family her parents most certainly would not approve of any sort of relationship with. She does not wish to upset her parents, they are depending on this arranged marriage to shore up their family's well-being for years to come.

If she does her duty, she may never be happy. But if she follows her heart, her family may suffer the consequences of her actions.

What should she do?

Comments

[un: sprite bulb] text;

[bearshermark]

As I weighed the obligations that would come of my future, a friend once told me that I'm the one that has to live my life.

I think that holds true here.

[chosenbylight]

This is true, of course. You are the only one to live the life you are given. As are we all.

But what of those whose lives are affected by the consequences of the decisions that are made?

[bearshermark]

They aren't the ones living your life.

But if you wouldn't be able to live with yourself for those consequences, then your path is also clear.

[chosenbylight]

[This is... A difficult question, for Anduin himself. There are some that would argue it does not matter what he wants, he has a duty to fulfill to Stormwind as the last remaining Wrynn to continue the family line.

The question of what he might be able to live with himself is another matter.

But let us pretend we are not talking about that. Since there truly is a girl who is depending on Anduin's reply.]

I suppose that you are right. It feels a lonely position to find oneself in, though. I feel for this girl and the choices that have been forced upon her.

un: absterge

[downswing]

Procure coin elsewhere.

un: white pawn; text

[chosenbylight]

[A man of many words you are, Lan Wangji.]

You believe that a person's happiness is more valuable than their amount of yearly income. Am I understanding correctly?

It's true, of course. It is not as though to follow her heart she will be dooming her family to poverty. I suppose it is their responsibility to understand this. Though unfortunately, it will likely fall to her to convince them of that.

[downswing]

Incorrect. You speak family destitution and a marriage unloved.

A third proposition: the lovers may procure wealth elsewhere to satisfy the family.

[chosenbylight]

That would assume that the family does not ostracize her entirely, in response to her choices.

Although I suppose that is their decision to make.

There are times when people find it near impossible to forgive the individual for the family they have been born into.

[Careful....]

un : dappled peals of the parted seas (voice)

[beitangmoran]

Decide whether duty or happiness are more important to her. No one but her can decide that.

un: white pawn; text

[chosenbylight]

She is the only one who can decide what is most important to her, but what of the consequences of her actions?

I think her heart has made its own decision, but her mind is still fighting itself over which path is "right".

[beitangmoran]

Well, right or wrong are not the correct concept to apply there. Emotions are not right or wrong.

[chosenbylight]

Of course. Happiness cares little for logic, in the end.

[Let's go out on a limb here. A dangerous limb...]

Is it responsible to weigh romantic feelings over familial connections? If they are not able to see past their dislike for the poor associations they have for the boy's family.

un : deft hand of little deaths (voice)

[scrapgege]

Why are those the only two choices?

That reminds me of a riddle my teacher once asked me.

un: white pawn; text

[chosenbylight]

A riddle?

Can you remember how it went?

[Anduin remembers stuff like that.]

[scrapgege]

'Two walked the desert, about to die from thirst, and there was only one cup of water. The one who drinks lives, the one who doesn't dies. If you were a god, who would you give the cup to?'

My answer just made him shake his head.

[chosenbylight]

[Does Anduin want to know what this answer was...?]

It is a dilemma, having to make a choice that appears to have no "right" answer.

Did your teacher imply that there was one?

un: qishan; text

[silverneedles]

Is it love or infatuation and a desire to rebel? Would losing her family cause more grief than losing the village boy?

un: white pawn; text

[chosenbylight]

That is a good question.

If the motivation is rebellion, I am inclined to agree that she will eventually come to regret such a decision. Although, despite her youth, I would like to believe the feelings are real. She has stopped by for advice quite a number of times now.

[silverneedles]

Is she equally torn between her family and her lover or does she lean to one side?

text | un:thewrench

[in_theworks]

Is she actually in love? Or is she just horny and trying to rebel?

[a long pause]

No, you know what? Even if she IS just horny, she's not gonna magically fall in love with Arranged Marriage Guy. She should be allowed to ~follow her heart~ or whatever.

They can figure out the money situation later.

un: white pawn; text

[chosenbylight]

[Thank you, Wrench, for keeping it real.]

This is true. She may be able to find a way to find some meaning in her life. But it will not be the same.

For that matter, I have no concept of what the boy's character is they have arranged for her to marry. Perhaps he is from a rich family, but is a terrible person?

Certainly not worth the headaches, or heartaches for that matter as well.

[in_theworks]

And, like, dick or not, maybe Arranged Marriage Guy's not really feeling an arranged marriage, either. Like maybe he has someone on the side, too.

So, yeah. Headaches and heartaches all around.

[there's another long pause here, as Wrench thinks about it]

Is there something WE could do? Like go find some more bandits to punch and take their money, so we can give it to the girl's family or something?

text; un:joker

[joker_wild]

I think you can find money in other ways. It's more important that she can live with herself and not just spend her entire life being miserable in the name of duty or whatever.

un: white pawn; text

[chosenbylight]

Duty to one's family can be very important to some.

But I agree. It should not come at the cost of one's happiness. Money, as they say, is not everything.

[Says the High King of Stormwind.]

[joker_wild]

No, it's not.

But duty to your family is a thing even where I'm from, where it's supposed to be modern or whatever.

A friend of mine is going through almost this same thing actually. We've tried to help her deal with it, but, well.

I ended up here.