eastbound | [un: Chengmei] video

[ This is not a conversation he wants his voice or face attached to. Nope. ]

Why is this something to ask other people. Shouldn't you already know?

Why don't you talk instead of writing? It's tedious. Do you think everyone wants to read that much? Do you think everyone can?

[Accessibility is a truly important feature when one is possibly trying to show off potentially positive conversations to someone very much blind.]

You know, it takes a lot to criticise my question by asking an actually pointless one yourself. Now you have that in writing. Embarrassing.

If I knew, why would I ask?

Because it's a personal question and I don't see a reason to put my voice and lovely face to answer you.

[ And you're not Xiao Xingchen, or Zhou Zishu. So he's not going to behave himself. ]

And if you want an answer from me, answer mine. Don't be dull.

I did answer your question. Is there something wrong with your ears? With your brain? Just your manners? Or do you need to read everything twice and talking is too fast for you to keep up?

Perhaps it's for the best you don't speak, if this is how it goes when you have the time to write, no doubt your tongue would spew even more uselessly.

I wouldn't have trouble if your words weren't nonsense.

That's a good thing to tell yourself. And me, I suppose, now I know how to talk to you.

[Judging by how he modulates his voice? Slowly, mostly.]

I hope your face is pretty, or we'll know you owe your parents nothing.

[ There's a pause, and then finally Kexing toggles over to show his face. Yes. Just to prove he's not ugly. UGH. ]

Happy?

[ But then he manages to adjust his irritated expression to a haughty smirk. ]

My parents are why I'm alive today. Maybe that means nothing to you.

...that means nothing to anyone. That's wisdom in line with: If it rains, it gets wet.

[He may not know his parents, but he does know how life finds its way.]

If you delight in stating the obvious, try poetry. It's tedious, but with flowery enough words people listen to all kind of crap and think it's wise.

[Xingchen has, unfortunately, gotten pretty used to having Xue Yang always find him anymore. He doesn't like it, but it is what it is.]

I never said you weren't trying.

Parents and family are two different things.

[At least in her opinion.]

Good can only come from your parents if they're prepared to make the effort. But family is who you choose.

Truly? My mistake, it sounded like something you'd say.

[Xue Yang leaned back on his hands, his eyes on Xingchen, smiling to himself - as smiling at him was largely pointless - as he watches him.]

Do you think it matters? A parent's love.

Ah.

[There is a pause, as this is something that has never occurred to him. However, he remembers that he does have a purpose for that question.]

So, I take it your parents were pointless?

[He's just going to ignore that little jab. There's nothing to gain from such an argument here.

As for the question, he cant answerr right away. A parent's love isnt something he ever had, at least not when it came to his own parents. At least not that he can remember. Maybe his parents did love him, but something terrible happened to separate them when he was still so small and uncomprehending. Maybe they didn't care at all or just simply couldn't take care of him and he ended up abandoned that way.

Xingchen has wondered these things before, more so when he was younger on the mountain, when he couldn't sleep, but also sometimes when he was traveling as a rogue cultivator.

Looking back, he hadnt traveled for very long, but he still saw a fair number of people and thdir relationships.]

I do. Children tend to be happier and more confident when their parent supports them.

I don't know. I was happy enough when I was little, I was too dumb to know better.

[He looks at where his finger isn't, wondering what difference parents truly made when the world is the way it is.]

Do you think they are weaker for it too, daozhang? Having such support all their life. What happens when they lose it?

I believe it depends on the child's temperament as much as the parent's care.

[This, of course, is based on what he's seen in snippets, as well as what he considers ideal. And then, even though Baoshan Sanren wasn't his mother, didn't she still raise him and give him shelter and food and keep him alive and healthy most of his life? He draws from this, too.]

Death is also a part of life, even though it leaves others to grieve. Some children may accept this more easily than others. I imagine if a parent were more protective, it would be harder to part ways, for a child to know how to function in the world.

One was. One was a robot, so she was literally programmed to be useful.

[But she was the only mother she's ever really known so she's willing to give Grace the credit.]

[Anduin could answer this question honestly. He could give this man honest information, spoken from the heart, about his relationship with his father and the trials and tribulations thereof.

There is something in his delivery that makes him reconsider doing so, however.]

Is this in regards to the family units that we have been assigned into, perchance?

[A family which -- he and Anduin happen to be assigned to together, as it so happens.]

[Obvious confusion on his face, because he has never come across the term 'robot' before, so he just has to ask.]

Like a slave? A servant?

...

[For a few moments, Xue Yang just looks at him through the screen, considering what he means and then considering what to answer.

In theory, he's asking these questions because he is supposed to really get in touch with things he's never felt, but--]

I don't know, didi, how close to me do you feel? [Suddenly there is a smile, a sweet one, and he leans forward.] Have I been a good brother? Are you going to give Yang-ge anything? I'm being good.

Edited 2022-03-05 00:21 (UTC)

[It's maybe for the best that Xingchen can't see Xue Yang's expression now, because he's definitely already losing the focus on his actual words in favour of simply watching him speak, watching his lips move. It's not that surprising that he gets up and moves closer, only humming a little so that Xingchen can't complain about him sneaking up on him.

And so he has the satisfaction of Xingchen willingly letting him approach.]

Our world isn't made for anyone who's been coddled. But what do you think would have become of me, with a parent's love?

[Even if he would complain, it isn't as if it would do much. Xue Yang won't leave him alone, regardless of Xingchen's opinion of him. But he does appreciate the humming. At least he can be prepared for how close the other man gets, even if he should be used to it by now.]

Ideally, you would have become a decent man.

[But what is ideal rarely ever comes to fruition.]

At the bare minimum, I would hope you would understand the value of human life and that murdering in vast numbers is not something that anyone should do.

[He cocks his head to the side, thinking a little more on this.]

One doesn't need a parent to learn that, though. I don't know what happened to you.

[He stops close to Xingchen, sitting down on the ground, one leg pulled up so he can rest his arms on it, looking up at the daozhang.]

M-hm. I can tell you stories all day, but you know them. How's one scoundrel any different from another? I just had more opportunity.

[There's thoughts going through his mind, memories, and he's not sure how he wants to proceed.]

What was my life's worth, you think, to anyone, at any point? When I was born. When I grew up. Until I had use for someone?

[This sort of conversation isn't one where every question has the same, easy answer. It all really does depend on one's opinions and experiences and they're all going to vary as each person in the world does. Xingchen is kind of exhausted trying to get his point across that while he can't be specific, he does believe that every person deserves to live at least for some amount of time. And even then, he is not the ultimate voice on the matter of who should be allowed to live and who should die, only offer suggestions based on behavior. That doesn't make him right, though.

There is one thing he knows, however, though he's not sure it will mean anything to Xue Yang.]

What people think of others is not necessarily accurate. Just because they may view a merchant woman's baby differently from a noblewoman's baby doesn't mean one child is worth more than the other. Are we not all born naked and crying? You. Me. The great sect leaders. Circumstance does not define worth. I believe our own decisions do. It is just that others cannot always see the difference.

[He takes a moment to consider saying more. He probably shouldn't, but he probably shouldn't hope that any of this will help Xue Yang understand he's done bad things, either.]

I am sorry no one treated you the way you deserved as a child.

But circumstances define what decisions there are to make. What choices people have. Does the whore's son stand any chance to be noble, even if he longs to be?

[An interesting question, is it not? And perhaps it is telling of something that the example he thinks of is not so much himself. Telling of what, that's another question.

Sorry again though. There's that word Xingchen uses.]

Does opportunity make you good or evil? I'd have stayed nobody if I hadn't become stronger.

[And would that have been better for the world? Xue Yang shrugs, then shakes his head, then just sighs, smiles, and looks up at Xingchen.]

Daozhang, do you have candy?

[Oh, well. That is... Maybe not the reaction that Anduin had anticipated.

Is this role-playing? Is he being serious? Anduin is far too honest a person for anyone to just spring this sort of thing on him out of the blue.]

Oh. Well. I, uh.

[He takes a minute to recover himself and try and redirect the conversation in some way.] I have never had a brother before we arrived here in Ke-Waihu. Nor any other siblings. It is an entirely new experience for me.

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