audio

[downswing]

username: yiling patriarch

( Rise and shine, to coarse, near-dawn rasps from a gently borrowed quartz piece. Overheard in the background: meowling winds from the settling snow storms, the yawning bustle of early-morning trade, and the sharp gasps of a crowd. )

Bring salt, wine, water and joss sticks to the marketplace. ( Murmured: ) They've sullied their dead.

( A pause, stretching its legs, until a child cries over the 'armless men there.' )

We cannot be as animals, to leave them in indignity.

( ooc: ...response usernames will vary, depending on whether he's still at the marketplace or back at the House of Dew and hoarding Wei Wuxian's device, since he's too himself to get his own. )

Comments

[downswing]

Not while I yet have shoulders.

[weifinder]

Then your curiosity met, when possible, is half my relief.

[downswing]

We are not one and same person.

[weifinder]

Good, because as much as I'd be fascinated to meet my exact twin, I'm fairly sure we'd also both be in incredible trouble within a month's time.

( ... which is true, but: )

We don't need to be one and the same. You have shoulders, so do I.

[downswing]

You lessen yous to accommodate.

( Him, but they both know. )

Stand straight.

[weifinder]

I kept all mine to accommodate before.

( They also know how that went. )

And tall. We'll need to find you another crown so you can have the height advantage again, Lan Zhan!

[downswing]

Perhaps Wei Ying may take the knee.

[weifinder]

One or two?

[downswing]

Plaintiffs greet the chief cultivator on two.

[weifinder]

Fine, fine, then down on two, please stand tall over me, oh chief cultivator, and if you're feeling so inclined, pat my head and call me a good boy while you're at it!

( kick him in the back of a knee, he'll go down on you all right )

[downswing]

One knee. Wei Ying is no supplicant.

[weifinder]

( let him tease, Lan Zhan, he's not getting to see the dead bodies today and is instead early to market with the crunch of too early (for him) winter ice and snow beneath his feet, let him tease )

No, past actions would indicate I'm more likely to question chief cultivators than supplicate them. Do I still get the headpats?

[downswing]

'Good boy.'

( Really? )

[weifinder]

( Congrats, Lan Zhan gets a choking noise out of Wei Wuxian that is outright surprise (really?!) followed by muffled laughter. It's worse, because he knows what Lan Zhan's doing right now, and also he's talking on the dog username, great. )

Lan Zhan!

[downswing]

Humbly, meeting Wei Ying's requirement.

[weifinder]

( Now he's not bothering to hide that he's laughing. )

You! Does that mean I get the head pats later, huh?

[downswing]

Earn them.

[weifinder]

Oh? What's head pat worthy to Lan Zhan?

[downswing]

Eat meals silently. Walk leisurely. Speak with care.



( Be a good infant. )

[weifinder]

( Here, he sighs. Sighs. )

In other words, no head pats for this Wei Ying. Your standards are too strict, I don't dare meet them!

[downswing]

Improvements — ( A short huff, possibly because this gentle exchange has the audacity to punctuate corpse shipments. ) — will be rewarded.

[weifinder]

( Lan Zhan is managing to talk while hauling bodies, Wei Wuxian would sound more like an asthmatic trying to do the same. )

Why do I feel like Little Apple when I started leading them around with an apple tied to a stick dangling in front of their nose...

[downswing]

Wei Ying will outperform the donkey.

[weifinder]

I'm not getting ridden.

( he can't outperform the donkey thanks, donkey is stronger than he is )

WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS

[downswing]

Not competently.