video — un: vast & furious.

[valeas]

( Last Emilia di Carlo was seen, she rode a thestral into the dark of night, with flowers burning in her hair and fury blazing in her eyes. Tonight, she looks somber and composed, her resolve no less steely for it. She sits at her desk, hair half braided into a coronet and the other half down in loose waves.

She's dressed practically, unlike when they're conforming to the city's fashions. )

I've gathered some donations from the nobility.

( Influence with the gentry (and their connections) helps, as does rich guilt. Emilia still takes great issue with everyone else being left to fend for themselves during the siege, but she decided to channel that anger into something productive. People need resources, not the consequences of her temper.

She'll need remember to do so on behalf of Vannozza. The siege doesn't, unfortunately, put an end to why they're here. )

I invite anyone that would like to help with its distribution to join me. Furthermore —

( Her brow furrows at the sudden commotion outside. The desk is close enough to the balcony that anyone who's decided to listen in is privy, as well. Much like the chimney debacle, really, except these are no protesters. No, these are two gentlemen suitors. And they bring ... poetry?

It would seem harrowing experiences turn already insensible men into impulsive brutes. Impulsivity further prompted by the fact Emilia, catch of the season, has yet to accept any offer. She's betrothed to someone else, in truth. Though at the moment, she'd like to eschew the presence of any and all men.

Forever.

The clearing of a throat: "Shall I compare thee to a summer's day — "
"Look around, you complete and utter toadstool. It is far from summer, and you cannot propose when I intend to do so."
"The lady will not marry you. I am the one she favors — "
"No, I shall be her heart's truest desire in the end."
"Dear man, you know little of desire, if all rumors prove true."
"You besmirch my character! There is only one way to solve this — "
"Yes. Y e s - !"
"We duel at dawn!"

Emilia closes her eyes.

Draws in a deep breath. Prays to the goddess of strength and reasoning: may she keep a moon daughter from committing any violence this evening. )

You'll excuse me.

( Before she ends the transmission, a third unaffiliated voice can be heard, wailing in the distance, "I'm so alone." )



( ooc: this post is for their network only, but the commotion outside is, of course, free game for anyone to catch wind of.
this post is open all month. there's no such thing as too late.)

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[lancifolium]

[ After being far too tipsy to have her friend's back the last time random men bothered Emilia while she was trying to have some peace in the privacy of her room Lily took almost no time getting to her door that night. After her friend cut her message to the group short due to being shouted at, not checking in on Emilia felt wrong, and Lily was quick to get out of bed and dressed before sneaking down the hallway.

She knocked a few times before cracking the door open, tentatively peeking inside. Lily didn't want to be invasive - but if something was wrong and Emilia needed help because one of those shouty blokes was trying to scale the side of the palace, (blokes, by and large, were messy enough that she wouldn't put it past them) - she didn't want to get to her friend too late. ]

Emilia are you alright?

[ Peering in Lily kept one hand on the knob of her friend's door, and the other on her wand in her pocket, ready to draw should she have to. Her experience during the Beastmaster's visit had left her looking a little paler than usual, but if she felt weaker for it, it didn't show. ]

[valeas]

( Her throat tightens as her head lifts toward her friend.

Her friend, whose body ached too recently from such terrible an experience, and came to check on her anyway. Emilia is not used to this. The state of her mortal realm discouraged cooperation among witches. It taught her that to speak too much to another witch was to put her in danger, a death sentence.

She is used to dealing with things alone.

But together, the two of them, they've built a community. It is small, but it is fierce, and in this moment, there is an endless well of gratitude for it. So much so that her eyes almost burn. She wants to say that she is all right. Wants to keep projecting everything she means to, if she is ever to step foot in the Seven Circles and conquer it: someone fearsome, someone undaunted. But the siege has left her a bit raw, uncertain, and this humiliation stings, for all that she ran them off, hopefully for good. )

No. I don't know how much longer I can do this.

( Not that she's done very much with her role as of late, and certainly she never encouraged this. Emilia was willing to try and leverage the role she was assigned with the belief it would advance their goals, with the understanding she would never let anyone work past her boundaries. If the attention ever felt intolerable, limiting, infuriating, suffocating — she'd close her eyes, think of her twin and the justice she still deserves, and find her resolve once more. For Vittoria, she would do this and more. But Emilia has not much to show for it, and she's no closer to returning to her mission. There's only the ruin of Taravast made.

Silence follows her rare admission, and she turns it back to Lily. She's been so worried. ) Are you?

[lancifolium]

[ Lily kept her hand on the door after it closed, keeping herself steady as she looked towards Emilia with adoring, but very tired eyes. She was on the mend but worn down by her experience under the Beastmaster's thrall, paler, the red of her hair a little less vibrant, she almost looked threadbare - if a person could be worn down that way. At times she felt as though for all she hurt, that she ought to remember something for the extensive trouble it had caused her.

As exhausted as she is there's more than enough of her left to be concerned for Emilia, and her expression darkened when the other witch gave her an answer. Nodding her head sadly, her eyes darted down to the floor as she fought back the swell of emotions seeing the look on Emilia's face brought on.

Of course, she wasn't alright - who was, after what they had been through. The siege at the farmhouse, before the group traveled to Taravast seemed more like a friendly sparring match after what had happened here in this terrible, utterly mad city. At least while the group had been trapped on the farm and barely scraping by, they could at least be who they were instead of having to maintain a ruse while drained dry of anything to give. ]

It's like everything in this city has been rotting, and all that decay finally caved in.

[ Lifting her hand she stepped closer and wrapped an arm around Emilia's shoulders in a loose hug, uncertain if the gesture was out of line, but hopeful that Emilia might let her rest a moment before withdrawing. ]

I'm tired, but my energy for magic's slowly coming back. There are a million things to do, there's no time to be as tired as I am.

[ If she hadn't sounded so weary she might have sounded petulant. Sitting idle when so much was left undone and so much hanging over their heads was driving her to distraction, not being able to spring into action and sort whatever it was that might fall in her path was maddening. ]

I forget sometimes, how we're never really safe in this world. It's stupid, I know.

[valeas]

( Her own arms slide around Lily to bring her closer, to sink into this warmth and give it back, offer steady support should she need. Offer as much comfort as she herself is receiving. To remind herself that these violent hands can still nurture, be it through cooking or holding that which is dear.

She'll gently try to steer them toward the foot of the bed. That they may wish to be tireless doesn't make it so, and Lily sounds so tired that it hurts her heart. Emilia wonders if making the trek to this room only made it worse, in which case, she'd like to make sure that Lily rests. )

It isn't stupid. You simply aren't cynical. You choose to act from a place of love.

( Her tone is firm, even as it's low. Lily believes and she tries, and she's perhaps one of the kindest people Emilia's ever met. Smart as a tack, but she couldn't have known just how deep Taravast's underbelly ran. None of them could have. Now they've learned better. )

My grandmother once said love was the most powerful magic. ( A hint of rue twists her lips. ) I don't think I understood when she said it. I might've taken it too literally, too sentimentally. And at the time, I was too angry to want to understand.

( She still is. She doesn't think that piece of her soul will ever stop howling. )

We'll need more than weapons and fire to defeat them. They will attack everywhere despair might live, so they may leave their cold behind. But I think it exists too in how we can treat each other and ourselves. Every time we lose heart. Every time we cede. I think, then, perhaps one of the best things we can do is hold on to those loving parts of us, even when they grow weary.

[lancifolium]

[ Whether she acknowledged it directly or not, there's been a hole in Lily's heart since everything happened, bored through by the knowledge of her powerlessness and left to quietly fester. Without realizing it Emilia had managed to say just the right things to help patch that place of pain, and though she didn't want to, Lily felt herself begin to cry.

Her shoulders went tense as she took a moment to hide with her forehead against her friend's shoulder. She sniffled before straightening resolutely, tired but not yet willing to go entirely to pieces. ]

Your grandmother raised an extremely wise woman.

[ When they reached the foot of Emilia's bed Lily let her friend go so that she could sit with a tired sigh, her friend's words continuing to resonate with her. ]

If you ever need to, I hope one day you remember everything you've just said to me.

[ Considering their circumstances, she had a feeling they were going to be words she thought back on a lot. ]

[valeas]

I hope so, too.

( A caged longing sticks to her throat, thick and unrelenting.

She'd like to say she'll remember her own advice when it matters most, but the frightening anger and vengeance that's driven her as of late has little to do with what she's just said. Except, perhaps, that underneath it all is this: this unwavering love for Vittoria. Love with no place to go.

Emilia shifts so that she may best turn herself into a resting place. It can go here, she realizes, fingers smoothing down Lily's hair as she allows them to rest in the silence. She can't imagine the horror Lily went through in that tower. She can't begin to explain the horror of that dark chamber at the monastery.

So there's this. )

It's okay, Lily. ( It's not, not really. Nothing about their situation is fine. But it's okay to feel that. To feel tired and angry and heartsick. Emilia remembers the names of every witch she failed. She doesn't want to fail Lily, too. )

[lancifolium]

[ There's no mirth in the little laugh that answers Emilia when she tells Lily that it's okay, but when she lifted her head to look at her friend, the smile on her face was sincere. ]

Tell me what happened to you, tell me about the tower.

[ Emilia deserved to be lauded for her strength, not get stuck playing agony auntie to the world's most tired girl and Lily wanted to know what she had missed, and how they had all made it through. Her feelings for the city of Taravast were complicated at best, but she was relieved that it had survived - at least somewhat. ]

[valeas]

( Emilia wants to be there for Lily. Sometimes in ways she feels she was not there for Claudia, too lost in her anger and her grief despite wanting to help stop the murders so desperately. But Lily asks what happened to her, and she is drawn back to the night of the siege.

She is drawn back to things she has said, and not wanting Lily to think she's a liar for it. )

When we first arrived to Taravast and I told you that I didn't — couldn't — ride, I thought that was the truth. ( The truth is she doesn't really know what happened to her. She's only guesses, and she's put them aside in favor of more important and dire matters. )

[lancifolium]

[ After Emilia begins to answer Lily's question with a remark about her ability to ride Lily gives her a curious look, straightening where she sat as she focused her attention on what her friend had to say. ]

I remember, why?

[ Her own troubles forgotten, she focused on what might have happened to Emilia, worrying over her friend in advance. ]

[valeas]

I don't know. ( Except that's not true anymore, is it? The muscles in her throat flex as she swallows past some gathering tightness. Whenever tendrils of fear threaten to rise up in her chest, it's been easy to envision them like inconvenient bugs and squashing them under her feet.

Not this time. )

I think I was cursed to forget.

[lancifolium]

Cursed?

[ For a moment she's stunned, her eyes going wide as her mind ticks over every curse she's ever learned about in school, wondering there was even a sliver of knowledge she had that might help her friend. ]

By whom? For– [ Catching herself Lily fell quiet, looking to Emilia gravely. ] What else came back to you?