text | un:thewrench

[in_theworks]

Hello? Hello, is this thing on?

Huh, cool.

Anyway, uh. Hi, I'm Wrench, and this newbie has two questions. One, is there anything the Wicked Witch of the West might not have shared that might be important? [he means Karsa] And two, what's to stop a guy from using this piazza thing to share a few dozen dick jokes with the entire city?

[he probably won't actually do that. maybe. maybe not. someone please talk him out of it]

Comments

un: dappled pearl of the parted sea [voice]

[beitangmoran]

There is nothing stopping you from anything, good sir, except maybe common decency. If it seems in short supply though, far be it from me to hold you back. One must find their amusement.

[in_theworks]

[if Moran is going to do voice, so will he! twinsies!]

Pfft, decency. Have you met me? [there's a pause, seemingly largely for effect, and then:] Wait, no, you actually haven't.

[beitangmoran]

An astute observation, Young Master.

I take it you are newly arrived, alongside the merry band who was prisoners in the dungeons.

[in_theworks]

Yep. I got the whole experience.

Zombies, magic, dragons -- the works.

[and while he sounds cheerful enough about that, under the modulation the mask provides, boy, has this been an experience]

[beitangmoran]

The dragon is new, but apart from that, this seems to be the lot of all of us who somehow end up here.

[in_theworks]

[still brightly, in an oh, you kind of way:]

Is that supposed to make me feel better?

[beitangmoran]

Well if it does, that's a good thing, isn't it?

I just find it interesting that our arrivals keep mirroring themselves, no matter where in this world we appear.

[Listen, you can have feelings if you want, Moran is interested in this on an intellectual level.]

[in_theworks]

No argument, dude.

That is kinda weird, though. [look, he can appreciate this on an intellectual level, too. he's a lot smarter than he pretends to be] So -- what? The zombies show up where ever we do? Or vice versa?

[beitangmoran]

Oh no, the zombies were there a long time before us. They are all over the place.

We are also not the first group of people to have arrive din this fashion before, but we are the first to survive.

[in_theworks]

[here, have a nervous laugh]

Yeah, see, that? That is much less reassuring, my guy.

[a beat]

Do I even wanna know what happened to the not-survivors? [oh, holy shit] Are they the zombies?

[beitangmoran]

Not that we know of, no. It seems the zombies want to... feed off of us in a manner of speaking.

The people who understood that took a radical approach the first few times it happened and simply executed the uninvited guests they found. It didn't solve the problem, so they're trying a new approach.

[in_theworks]

Distinctly heading into worse, here.

Feed on us how? Like, I'm gonna guess you're not talking brains. [since he said 'in a manner of speaking' and all -- and considering the whole telepathic element the zombies he ran into had going on]

[beitangmoran]

Apparently they are more into consuming souls and powers.

[in_theworks]

Lucky for me I only have one of those! [a pause, largely for effect] ​You guess which.

[this all continues to make him kind of nervous, so he's just going to deflect by being a troll]

[beitangmoran]

Souls tend to be in short supply most of the time. it's fine if you don't have one.

[in_theworks]

[ ... ]

Powers, dude. I don't have any powers.

[he has a soul, fuck you]

[beitangmoran]

[Hello, welcome to meeting the guy who literally sasses his own Emperor with total impunity.]

Oh, well, you should have said. Besides, I'm sure that's not true, there must be something you are capable of, surely. Do not put yourself down like this.

[in_theworks]

I have skills, yeah, sure. [he's good at blowing things up. he's good at building things. he's good at being loud, being a distraction. he's good at breaking and entering, heavy on the breaking] But I don't have, like, magic or anything.

[though, it would be cool if he could learn!]

[beitangmoran]

Well, a lot of people don't have magic. so that might not be why they took you, if indeed the taking is targeted and not random. I have wondered about that.

[in_theworks]

You could try taking a survey.

[never mind the fact that, if they weren't having this conversation, if someone he didn't know just walked up and asked him to fill out a survey, he'd probably lie his damn head off for shiggles. never mind the fact that other people here might potentially do the same thing, if he tried it]

[beitangmoran]

There are already at least two people keeping tabs on this, so me doing it as well would be redundant.

The amount of royalty we have is also surprising, to be honest.

[in_theworks]

Well, you'll be happy to know that I'm not royalty!

[that should be a relief, right?]

Or I wasn't back home, anyway. Jury's out, here.

[you're a courtesan, now, Wrench, not royalty]

[beitangmoran]

In that case, I don't know if you'll be happy to know that I am.

[Surprise.]

[in_theworks]

Uh, grats?

[in the words of Christian Bale, oh, good for you]

[seriously, though, while that is, in fact, a surprise, he's not really impressed. where he's from, the people in power are usually corrupt he definitely would have lied on a survey]

At least you get all this political shit, I guess.

[beitangmoran]

[That's fine, Moran isn't here to defend the honor of every ruler ever, not even himself.]

It sure is more interesting than a month of travelling through the desert with ghosts.