audio | un: chengmei

[thesuspense]

Those dead people-- They talk a lot. Always the same talk. [From the sound of it, he finds said talk pretty tedious.] Restless dead. Arha won't shut up. I think his woman is being a-- [The sound cuts out as something that sounds like a paper wrapper is rustled loudly right by the stone] Pissed him off. Someone did. So they talk abo--

[A sudden pause, and then there are some quiet sounds, much like a piece of hard candy would make when pushed into a mouth and moved around by a tongue.]

...it's not sweet.

[This, in fact, is way more alarming news than whatever else he may have been about to tell.]

Why isn't it sweet? What is this useless place?! Why can't I taste?!

[That went from zero to a hundred on the barely interested to intense anger scale, and then the voice starts getting quieter, as if its owner has just up and walked away.]

Daozhang? Daozhang! I need you~ Where is-- Ah, right.

[With that, the voice becomes louder again, evidently having decided this thing might still be useful after all. Together with the stone, he also pick up on his long abandoned train of thought.]

Ah! Right, right, I forgot to say~! They want to kill you. Dunno why. Loooots of blah blah.

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[binghua]

[He's being baited into this. From the way his friend was clearly distraught just a few minutes ago, now to his friend taking pleasure in teasing and playing like this, Xingchen can tell what he's more concerned with. He shouldn't be; he should worry why he can't taste. Xingchen worries. But he's here and for the moment he can't fix the problem since he doesn't know what it is. Instead, he moves his arms to gently grip his friend's elbows, keeping him close and steady.]

I've got you.

[The closeness between them is a comfort, though Xingchen still can't bring himself to smile. From moment to moment the candy in his mouth will hit a specific part of his tongue and remind him what is at stake for his friend and the sweetness starts to taste bitter. But he swallows around it, tries to ignore it, and rubs his thumbs over those elbows in his hold.]

I'll do everything I can.

[thesuspense]

[It means nothing, does it? Another stolen moment in a row of so many, like a glass pearl that's worth nothing and will inevitably shatter. But after so much time of clinging to broken glass and cutting himself, this moment feels like a precious pearl instead. Something that is worth everything.

Worth a thousand more lies, worth whatever it takes to keep things this way. Does he not deserve this much? What would he ever have gotten out of life, had he settled for what was freely given? He was meant for nothing, so who cares what all he had and has to do to get what he wants instead.

Sweet pastries.]

Sweet daozhang. [He says it with a bit of a lilt to his voice, still leaning against him, treasuring his warmth, his heartbeat, everything.] Where do you stay right now, daozhang? Should I not be with you? Who knows what I'd get up to by myself...

[binghua]

[Sometimes it can be exhausting being with his friend, how he'll feel so passionately about something one minute and then cling to something else with as much fervor the next. Oftentimes it's Xingchen himself, which he's grown used to. And he'd be lying to himself if he didn't admit he enjoys the attention. He didn't hate being known as Xiao Xingchen, the bright moon and the gentle breeze, of course; it was a title given out of gratitude, used by so many who appreciated his help. But his friend didn't know this. Even after he's told him about what happened to him and...and Song Lan, he still doesn't.

He's just been "Daozhang" to him. He was always free as a rogue cultivator, no ties to any sect, his relations to the mountain severed, too, but...this is almost more. And his friend has always liked him for being him. Just Xingchen. Just Daozhang.

He'll figure out what's wrong; he has to, from one friend to another, but finally he starts to smile again. This man in his hold has that effect on him.]

I'm just part of this caravan, same as everyone else. I sleep on the ground at night, as I assume everyone else does. If I had a bedroll big enough for two, I'd share it with you, but I will not tie you down. You may go as you wish.

[One of his hands moves from an elbow, fingers trailing up and down along a forearm, almost tentatively.]

But I will not turn you away if you wish to stay with me. You know that. I can't -

[And here he has to stop himself from laughing, lifting that hand away to hold in front of his mouth as he gets himself under control.]

I can't say the ground is cozier than a coffin, but beggars can't be choosers.

[thesuspense]

Ah, daozhang, maybe I'd not mind if you tied me down a little.

[Of course he has to tease, as is in his nature, while he admires the smile on Xingchen's face. He feels an urge to touch him again, but he resists purely because Xingchen has his hands on his arms and he does not want to lose that connection. Does not want to lose anything the man is giving so willingly.

When Xingchen laughs, he laughs as well, filled with a happiness that he's not known in too long.]

I'll find you the cosiest bit of ground possible. Then you won't mind at all if I lie on you.

[binghua]

[Xingchen coughs, caught off-guard by that forward comment, though he really should have expected it. His skin must be so flushed by now. It certainly feels that way.]

If it would keep you out of trouble, yes?

[But, ah, since they're already tumbling down this path of innuendo and implications, Xingchen allows himself to give in somewhat.]

I suppose, in that case, you would deserve a reward for looking out for this one.

[thesuspense]

Very true. When I am so selflessly doing my best, it would be unjust if it wouldn't be rewarded.

[A sentiment which may undermine the selflessness, but whatever. He doesn't let such a thing as logic get in the way of whatever reward might be in store for him. His eyes drink in the sight of Xingchen so beautifully flushed, a tightness in his chest that he does not comprehend.]

I don't think anything can keep me out of trouble, but if you find some rope we can give it a try. I'm sure you have methods I've yet to learn, daozhang.

[He stays with the implications, the innuendo, that teasing is easier to deal with than the serious talk, than watching Xingchen care about this person that he believes him to be.]