audio | un: xianxian of yunmeng jiang

[weifinder]

Bear!? Bear! There was a bear in the bath!

( So comes this startled and startling shout, as elsewhere in camp, Wei Wuxian is (unfortunately) streaking past in damp, confused glory, a bear of arctic composure lumbering after him, soap bar still in mouth. Come back! He was just handing the soap over, he wanted to help! )

Comments

[thehoneybadger]

Hey now, don't go tossing around accusations. I didn't even know about Mr. Charmin Mascot having a soak until you started running around naked and screaming.

[If she'd known...would she have? Odds are even, tbh.]

[weifinder]

Which is why the bear needs to be handled, so no one else has surprise! There's a bear moments?!

[thehoneybadger]

I'm a superhero, not a zookeeper.

...I could probably handle a bear, but human vs. bear pretty much always ends up in a solid victory for the bear. [She's seen that old, bad movie Grizzly. Or at least the Rifftrax of it.] You know, solid, evisceration-flavored victory.

[Rachel, have you considered that is why he was running?!]

[weifinder]

I have no idea what a superhero is, but that's why I'm not! Fighting! The possessed bear!

[thehoneybadger]

It means I fight for truth, justice, and the American Way, or something. Mostly it just means I help people in trouble.

Oh, so it's possessed now? [Her tone's turned a little...wary, but she's clearly still trying to joke. Shame she doesn't still have that dagger.]

[weifinder]

Any of Anurr's creatures are at least partway.

[thehoneybadger]

...I mean, it doesn't seem to be malicious. So far, it's just taken a bath with you. Did it act like it was going to attack?

[weifinder]

I have no idea where swiping at someone and chasing after them to everyone here apparently reads as let me whisper poetry into your ear, uninvited.

[thehoneybadger]

I mean, that sounds like pretty normal bear behavior. Not really possessed bear behavior.

[weifinder]

Do bears normally chase people who have no food. Enter areas with no food. Go after a lack of food. Holding soap in their mouth!

[thehoneybadger]

What do I look like, a bearologist? I do know grizzlies get pretty scavenge-y. Maybe he thought the soap was a snack?

[weifinder]

( More of a pause due to movement and eventually: )

Ash?

( ... That's what the soap is made of. )

[thehoneybadger]

Maybe the bear is stupid.

[weifinder]

( this conversation is what is ridiculous, but also--hrs got no time to keep arguing over someone trying to joke around. he's got a bear to outrun?! he's sticking to that!! )

[thehoneybadger]

[After some radio silence:]

Hey, you need help with that bear or did you get eaten yet?

[weifinder]

( a moments delay, and: )

Master Su has sweet talked it into complacency!

[thehoneybadger]

Oh! Well, that's good.

Didn't think bears could be sweet-talked, but you learn something new every day, I guess.

[weifinder]

I could have learned that another way. But yes, not it's over.