Oh yay! I'm going to take the sketchy drink and pray it's not haram! [She points out cheerfully. The rest earns a disgusted sigh.]

I mean is he going to brag about taking candy from babies next? It's not really much of a flex to trick us. Some of us are minors here. We always have to deal with sketchy adults and hope for the best. It's like a rite of passage.

[In her most dramatic newscaster voice:] Can you survive this large group of people lying to you about everything and anything they can think of? Are they doing it for your good or their good? Tune back in and get the answer in eighteen years!