video | un: yan_zongzhu

[xinmoline]

[ This creepy lighthouse has a bathing room, but does it have a huge, fancy bath strewn with flower petals? It does now.

Yan Zhengming is standing in front of said bath (with his clothes on, fortunately) and asks, petulantly: ]

I need someone to take a bath with.

[ A beat ]

Someone good-looking!

Comments

un : deft hand of little deaths (voice)

[scrapgege]

.... Is there a reason why you can't bathe on your own?

[xinmoline]

Because I...

[ ...keep wanting to drown myself?

No no no, he can't admit to that! ]

I... I just want the company!

[scrapgege]

I guess I could come over.

... I mean, if I fit your criteria, of course.

1/2

[xinmoline]

[ He recognizes Xie Lian's voice, and the man does indeed fit the "good looking" category. ]

All right, just...

[ But recognizing the voice doesn't mean he remembers Xie Lian's actual name, bless him. So he squints at the username, which should say what it is, right? ]

video; un: xunxian

[topoiran]

[ ... an arched eyebrow. ]

Quite the proposition, that.

[xinmoline]

"Deft hand of little..."

The hell?

[ He draws back, grimacing. What kind of pervert is this guy anyway????? It just goes to show, you never can tell with people!!! ]

[scrapgege]

Hm? Oh, that's the name the crystal came with when they first gave it to us. Is there a problem with it?

1/2

[xinmoline]

[ He's fucking checking the username before he replies, even if the guy does have an acceptable face.

Ok, whew! "Xunxian," that's normal. ]

Wait, proposition?

[xinmoline]

I didn't mean like that!

[xinmoline]

[ He 100% does not believe you. He holds the collar of his clothes shut, as if he were a maiden guarding her virtue. ]

Don't come over! I — I'll be fine!

[topoiran]

[ Ah... heh. ]

Well, baths do tend to be rather intimate. Pulling our shields down, pulling most of your clothes off, and relaxing, vulnerable. A joint bath tends to be suggestive.

[scrapgege]

.... I'm already outside the door. And you didn't want to bathe alone earlier.

[xinmoline]

You —

[ Of course, at that very moment, his brain presents to him a lovely image of Cheng Qian washing his back. He'd had a fever dream when he'd first arrived, that his shidi was here, returned to life. It was an unbelievable story; he should have known that it wasn't real. But ever since then, his mind has wandered off to... places it never had, before.

He swallows hard. ]

I just wanted a little company, you... you're the one with a filthy mind!

[topoiran]

[ Oh, oh my, that contemplative expression and the reaction after it. ]

I do own the best establishment for... entertainment, where I come from.

[ To put that delicately. ]

Some things do come with the territory.

[xinmoline]

I don't want to bathe with a pervert! Shoo! Shoo!

[scrapgege]

..... Pervert? How am I a pervert???

We've only met once, that's a little rude, you know

[xinmoline]

[ Great, so far he's spoken to a pervert and a brothel owner. ]

Ugh. How filthy!

[ By which me means: ]

So many different people, who've slept in the same bed.

[ Sort of like... their present living situation, who knows HOW many people have been in his bedroom before, over the years. He shudders. ]

[xinmoline]

[ .......

This is the exact kind of prank Li Yun would pull, saying something with a clear innuendo and pretending to not know, and make Da Shixiong explain.

He's not falling for that! ]

You know exactly why!

un: daozhang | audio

[binghua]

[Well. That's quite the request.]

I imagine you have your pick of us. Has anyone met your requirements?

[xinmoline]

[ With feeling: ]

No, they haven't!

[ Because they're all perverts!!! ]

[binghua]

[Ah, yes, he's still very...yelly.]

I see. Do you have any secondary requirements, then?

[xinmoline]

[ It took him a minute, but he remembers this voice also: the man who went out and got food and water for other people, using him as a cat's paw to pull chestnuts from the fire. This person is probably the farthest thing from a pervert he's spoken to, this evening. Even his username is acceptable.

He draws himself up and calms his breathing, so he's able to sound more like the sect leader he is, with a low and sonorous voice. ]

Only a heart like clear water, pure and unimpeachable.

[ ....as soon as the words leave his lips, he realizes, he himself doesn't meet that criterion either. That damned Xunxian! This is all his fault, him and that other pervert! ]

un: absterge

[downswing]

( They are no brothel, sir. However: )


You took a wound?

[scrapgege]

I don't? I really haven't done anything to justify being called that that I can recall.

[Because yes, Xue Yang is wrong about the whole thing and Xie Lian is pretty sure the man wouldn't have shared... or wouldn't he? He did once try to humiliate him over the network for exactly that, even though nothing happened.

And in this case he is certain he has never done anything to Yan Zhengmin that could make him be called a pervert.]

If my face isn't satisfactory, then that's fine, but why does the young master need to insult my character?

[xinmoline]

No?

[ He thinks about it a moment longer, and can't figure how this person came to that conclusion. ]

No? If I had, wouldn't I be asking for a doctor? I just need someone nearby while I'm bathing, that's all.